A Modest Proposal to Reduce Crime in Racine

Simple: change the definition of Racine. "Racine" will now be known as that area bounded by the Main Street bridge on the north, 8th Street on the south, City Hall on the west, and the lakefront on the east. In other words, "Racine" will now encompass only that area known as "downtown" previously. This area is beautiful, upscale, and relatively crime-free. And it is obviously what the mayor is referring to whenever he mentions "Racine."

Everything outside of this area will now be known as "Racineville," a troubled area with high crime, high unemployment, and low hopes. Unfortunately, the City of Racine cannot do much to help it's stepsister city, Racineville. Residents of Racineville are on their own when it comes to police protection and other city services. If only the residents of Racineville would embrace the arts and put on airs like the people of Racine proper, then they might see some relief from the urban decay that engulfs them. Too bad, Racineville, but you're not pretentious enough to live safely. You just work for a living and try to raise your children to the best of your ability. Hah! Take a shower and visit Racine sometime to see how the other half lives.