Monday, August 11, 2008

Public School Teacher Arrested

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a problem for us," the Attorney General said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle.'"

3 comments:

  1. Very clever.

    It's been awhile since I've flown. I've never had to deal with the restrictions put in place since 9-11.

    Do we still have to have all our toiletries in such small quantities that they all will fit into a ziploc bag?

    Flying used to be fun. The horror stories you hear about being stranded on runways with no air circulation, no water, no bathrooms. I think I'll not fly unless necessary.

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  2. Hey! That sounds like profiling to me!
    The only time I got pulled aside was in London, and this was before 9-11. I was the random pat down and wand wave and all during the time, the guy was so apologetic saying "Queen's rules ya know."

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