We all need a good laugh, and I just got this in, ENJOY!!!
"I LOVE MY JOB!"
If you don`t laugh out loud after you read this you are
in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it`s real!
Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers
in Louisiana . He performs underwater repairs on offshore
drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent
it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in
Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job
experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you`ve been
feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma
with you to make you realize it`s not so bad after all. Before I
can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you
with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies
at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It`s a
wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we
do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial
water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out
of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then
pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped
to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I`ve used it
several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the
bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the
back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water.
It`s like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt
started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only
made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn.
I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.
In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine
had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now,
since I don`t have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn`t
stick to it, however, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact
that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing
hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was
instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression
stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the
surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at
the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream
and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the
chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn`t poop for two
days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you`re having a bad day at work, think about
how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up
your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job,
I love my job."
Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a
jellyfish bad day?
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
"I LOVE MY JOB!"
If you don`t laugh out loud after you read this you are
in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it`s real!
Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers
in Louisiana . He performs underwater repairs on offshore
drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent
it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in
Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job
experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you`ve been
feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma
with you to make you realize it`s not so bad after all. Before I
can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you
with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies
at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It`s a
wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we
do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial
water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out
of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then
pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped
to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I`ve used it
several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the
bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the
back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water.
It`s like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt
started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only
made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn.
I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.
In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine
had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now,
since I don`t have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn`t
stick to it, however, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact
that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing
hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was
instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression
stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the
surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at
the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream
and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the
chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn`t poop for two
days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you`re having a bad day at work, think about
how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up
your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job,
I love my job."
Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a
jellyfish bad day?
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
Posts
7 comments:
Ok, I'll stop complaining now. lol
I never thought about butt cheeks being swollen shut until just now . . . maximum gluteus maximus.
E-mail from Ireland
An email from Ireland to all of our brethren in the States...a point to ponder despite your political affiliation: 'We, in Ireland, can't figure out why you people are even bothering to hold an election in the United States
On one side, you had a pants wearing female lawyer, married to another lawyer who can't seem to keep his pants on, who just lost a long and heated primary against a lawyer, who goes to the wrong church, who is married to yet another lawyer who doesn't even like the country her husband wants to run!
Now...On the other side, you have a nice old war hero whose name starts with the appropriate 'Mc' terminology, married to a good looking younger woman who owns a beer distributorship !!
What in God's name are ye lads think’in' over in the colonies?
Ser, you should be McCain's campaign manager!
I've read that before.. never fails to bring a YIKES to mind!
ok, but it could be worse, YOU COULD BE THE JELLYFISH, ewwwwwwwww
One day Superman was feeling a bit horny. So, he began to ask his super hero friends for ideas on where he could get a bit of action. 'Hey Batman! Who's good in the sack?' 'Well Superman, everyone knows that Wonder Woman is the best sex in comicland. Why don't you try her?' replied Batman.
'I'd love to, but Wonder Woman and I are friends. So I don't really want to take advantage of her.' 'Damn shame,' said Batman as he waved goodbye to Superman and drove off.
Ten minutes later Superman was flying low over a city when he saw the Green Lantern patching up a building. He flew down. 'Hey Hal, I'm looking for a little action. You're a swinging bachelor, who's the best babe in comicland?'
'Hey, Superman! Everyone knows that Wonder Woman is far and away the best lay in Comicland, why don't you try her?' 'Well, we're sort of friends,' Superman said, 'but I didn't realize she had gotten around so much' and he flew off in frustration.
Twenty minutes later Superman was flying over a field when he saw Wonder Woman lying naked, in the middle of the field, with her legs apart and up in the air. Superman was tempted. He thought to himself, 'I'm faster than a speeding bullet, I can be in and out of there before she even knows I'm here.'
So with a blur and a sonic boom he was down, in and gone. Wonder Woman stared up into the sky with a dazed __expression. 'What the hell was that??' she exclaimed. 'I don't know,' said the Invisible Man as he rolled off, 'but my ass is killing me.'
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