Jokes

Been some time since we have heard from LizardMom and SER with some jokes...maybe it is time. I leave on Monday and will need a lot of humor to get me back to Florida via the route I am taking!

So start them now and keep 'em coming...I will check in on-line during my trek south!

Hope We Don't Have Any British Readers...

Because anyone who feels that they have been defamed by anything any of us write here can sue us in British Court if a SINGLE PERSON in Britain views the post. Yep, and it gets even worse. In British law, it is up to the poster to prove the allegations are true. They court assumes you are viciously lying unless you can prove otherwise. And they can go after ISPs as well who might be inclined to just remove material rather than fight a lawsuit.

Fortunately, a couple of Senators (Lieberman and Specter) filed a bill to protect US citizens.

So, KK, how many British visitors do we get here?

Not the Messiah (He's a Very Naughty Boy)

Eric Idle is at it again...after the rousing success on Broadway of Spamalot, he has now been redoing the Life Of Bryan as an oratorio. Yep, the one that some said is blasphemous about a guy named Bryan born next door to Jesus and ends up mistaken for the Messiah.

It has been around for a while and evolving. They had a fun interview with Eric Idle today on All Things Considered...you can listen to it streaming for free. He says it is not coming to Broadway, but I already want to see it...or better yet, perform in it!

A Modest Proposal to Reduce Crime in Racine

Simple: change the definition of Racine. "Racine" will now be known as that area bounded by the Main Street bridge on the north, 8th Street on the south, City Hall on the west, and the lakefront on the east. In other words, "Racine" will now encompass only that area known as "downtown" previously. This area is beautiful, upscale, and relatively crime-free. And it is obviously what the mayor is referring to whenever he mentions "Racine."

Everything outside of this area will now be known as "Racineville," a troubled area with high crime, high unemployment, and low hopes. Unfortunately, the City of Racine cannot do much to help it's stepsister city, Racineville. Residents of Racineville are on their own when it comes to police protection and other city services. If only the residents of Racineville would embrace the arts and put on airs like the people of Racine proper, then they might see some relief from the urban decay that engulfs them. Too bad, Racineville, but you're not pretentious enough to live safely. You just work for a living and try to raise your children to the best of your ability. Hah! Take a shower and visit Racine sometime to see how the other half lives.

Do You Go to the County Fair?

http://www.racinecountyfair.com/

Here's the "Fair Cam," with images updated every ten seconds: http://www.racinecountyfair.com/faircam.html

I was born and raised in Racine, and have lived here most of my adult life, but I've never been to the County Fair. I've been to the State Fair a number of times. I even went to the old Kraut Festival in Franksville a few times.

So, what's it like? I imagine it's a good deal for families, with something for the kids and the adults. The biggest draw for me probably would be the food and demolition derbies. Nothing like watching cars smash-'em-up on a gut full of brats and cream puffs. Woo-hoo!

Interesting email re: Obama

I can not vouch for the authenticity of this, but the person I got it from has a son in Iraq currently. I checked snopes for this and they have nothing yet.... Interesting if it is true. I am not printing the name of the solder who sent it.



---------- Forwarded Message ----------
Hello everyone,
As you know I am not a very political person. I just wanted to pass along that Senator Obama came to Bagram Afghanistan for about an hour on his visit to "The War Zone". I wanted to share with you what happened.
He got off the plane and got into a bullet proof vehicle, got to the area to meet with the Major General (2 Star) who is the commander here at Bagram.

As the Soldiers where lined up to shake his hand he blew them off and didn't say a word as he went into the conference room to meet the General. As he finished, the vehicles took him to the ClamShell (pretty much a big top tent that military personnel can play basketball or work out in with weights) so he could take his publicity pictures playing basketball. He again shunned the opportunity to talk to Soldiers to thank them for their service.

So really he was just here to make a showing for the American's back home that he is their candidate for President. I think that if you are going to make an effort to come all the way over here you would thank those that are providing the freedom that they are providing for you.

I swear we got more thanks from the NBA Basketball Players or the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders than from one of the Senators, who wants to be the President of the United States. I just don't understand how anyone would want him to be our Commander-and-Chief. It was almost that he was scared to be around those that provide the freedom for him and our great country.

If this is blunt and to the point I am sorry but I wanted you all to know what kind of caliber of person he really is. What you see in the news is all fake.

In service,
**********************
Battle Captain
TF Wasatch
American Soldier

How do you handle friendships that die?

How do you handle friendships that die?
I have a friend - REALLY!! that is going thru a tough time
with a friend, she feels the friendship has died.
They have 8 more months on their apartment lease, and
the time isn't going fast enough.

They used to be very close, but things changed
after a promotion of one over the other,
and after a traumatic occurance that they each handled VERY differently.
I don't like to see them go thru this but there seems little
hope of restoring the friendship they had.

I work with them both and will not take sides at work, or at all.
I like them both, will listen to their rantings of each other, and yet
try to stay neutral, which isn't easy!
So far, I haven't been able to be of much insight in helping :(

I've had a couple friendships fade into oblivion, but it always leaves
an empty spot, and it's not a happy place.

How do you handle things like this?

Celine Dion and Neil Diamond Will Shut Down Gitmo?

We have all heard about the controversial camp at Guantanamo and debated whether having water poured down your lungs is torture or just a "dunk in the water".

It turns out that there is a force even stronger than the ACLU and more powerful than the Supreme Court that could put an end to the madness: ASCAP. Yep, the Copywrite Nazis in the recording industry have the power! The problem is that they blast music at the prisoners to try and get them to confess. Everyone knows that this constitutes a public performance and the composers are owed money. Ever wonder why they don't sing "Happy Birthday" to you at your favorite restaurant when they bring you your cake? Yep, ASCAP! And we know that since ASCAP is a bunch of liberal entertainment moguls who want to destroy America, they would love to siphon money from our military using a slogan such as "Royalties, not Bombs!" (Okay, we may need to work on that one).

So who is really winning the War on Terror? Celine Dion, Billy Ray Cyrus, and the composer of the Chicken Dance.

As for me, I just recorded a few choice numbers with Garage Band and sent them to the Pentagon brass with my royalty rates...guaranteed confession or your money back!

"City administrator accused of harassment"

http://www.journaltimes.com/articles/2008/07/21/local_news/doc488540c04bf69493196434.txt


Wow. I don't know what else to say. I don't know anything about any of it, so it's kind of like gawking at a traffic accident. Morbid curiosity. I wonder how this will play out?

Wanna Laugh?

I can't watch that without laughing. Maybe you've seen it before. It won the 2007 YouTube Video Award for “Most Adorable.” It was even used in a commercial, which you can see here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXIfU-87TZo

I stumbled upon the clip earlier today. I'm still smiling.

Nursing home HELL

Hey gang. I'm doing rehab at a private nursing home in south Keno. I had to have ATT turn on(?) a phone line to the room, then access my
RR account through dial up. I seem to be the only normal person here, but because I'm deaf, I keep getting treated like the aged and mentally infirm. Even so, I'm being treated better here than St. Mary's. I'll never again use that place for anything.

Chest pain is becoming manageable, strength is returning. Docs have me on a weight limit. How can anyone regain strength if they can't lift more than 7 pounds? I'm feircly independant and PT is in cahoots with me. SHHHHH

One flew over the Coocoo's nest comes to mind. I even have a nurse Kratchet. Food miserably sucks here. Got my old dorm fridge in the room and it is well stocked. Not going hungry, but eating very little of their food. I'm sure there are better nursing/rehab places available, just All St's didn't offer any up, and familyn didn't know we could name our own choices besides what All St's loaded on me.

Oh well, anyhow, I'm alive and 18 ndays post op. Health/strength wise, things are looking up. Thanks for the concerns and well wishes

A Scary Glimpse of the Near Future...

From the musically talented group at Jib Jab of course.

Send a JibJab Sendables® eCard Today!

My favorite part is that you can insert yourself into the video by uploading your picture...not sure I want to show myself being abused like that!

How Gullible Are People?

This is a short interesting video by Penn & Teller talking about banning water!

http://www.lewrockwell.com/blog/lewrw/archives/013117.html

The Pie

Okay, here is the recipe.....
Key Lime Coconut Pie
(if using fresh limes, you will need about four juicy limes to produce 1/2 C of juice)

1 Can (14 oz) sweetened condensed milk
4 egg yolks
1/2 C lime juice (either Key Lime or plain old lime will do)
1 tsp grated lime zest
1 prepared graham cracker crust
1 C heavy cream
2 T sugar
1/4 tsp imitation coconut extract
3 T sweetened flaked coconut
Lime slices (optional)

Preheat oven to 350. In a bowl wisk together the egg yolks and sweetened condensed milk. Slowly stir in the lime juice and lime zest. Pour filling into crust. Bake 15 minutes or until filling is set. Cool completely and rack.

Beat cream, surgar, and extract until still peaks form. Spread or pipe over pie...sprinkle with the coconut. If desired garnish with lime slices. Chill until serving.

I froze the pies and just put the whipped cream mixture on at the last minute.

I am so glad you enjoyed it KK!