Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my gooseberries! How are you? Whew, no major arrests of anyone in local government this week. So far, that is . . .

Which brings us to the theme of my blog: my candidacy for mayor of Racine. I would like to state a few things plainly and openly so that all residents of our fair city will know who I am and what I stand for.

First, I am Madame Zoltar, psychic seer, mistress of the dark arts, and consultant to the JT Irregulars. My weekly blogs are known throughout the area, and my concern for Racine is evident in those blogs.

Second, I represent an alternative approach to local government, one concerned not only with the welfare of Racine’s current and future inhabitants, but also with that of past generations. If I am elected, I assure you that Gilbert Knapp will be personally consulted on all decisions of major import.

Third, I believe that the people of Racine have had enough of [insert your gripe here]. I, too, am fed up with [insert your gripe here]. If elected, I will dedicate all of my time and energy towards ending [insert your gripe here].

Fourth, I will give a free psychic reading to any city resident displaying proper ID. (18 years and older – only one reading per address or household - other restrictions may apply.)

Fifth, knowing the future just may give me a slight edge in the job. In fact, I already know who wins the election, but I don’t want to spoil the fun for everyone else. Let me just say this: you ain’t seen nothing yet!

Sixth, we could do worse. A lot worse. As Mr. OrbsCorbs has said, “Should've voted for the tuna fish sandwich.” (See the image at right.)

Finally, please email your questions, comments, and campaign contributions to: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Thank you for reading my blog this week, dears. Don’t forget that a vote for Madame Zoltar is a vote for our future, today. Enjoy yourselves figuring that one out. Poltergeist!