Hello, my precious popsicles! How are you? Did you have a good 4th of July? I sure did. I had a red, white and blue-painted booth in downtown Racine where I charged $10 apiece for quick psychic readings. Patriotism has been very, very good to me. I also would like to state that for next year’s celebration, I am available to broadcast telepathic messages into the minds of parade-goers rather than using those tacky airplanes. I’d probably charge less, too.I received no questions or comments this week; no runs, no hits, no errors. Therefore, I am free to do as I please. I’m devoting the rest of my blog to humor.
Q: How many spiritualists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None - they prefer to work in the dark.
All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my right hand.
Q: What did the blind psychic say to his girlfriend?
A: I wish I could seer you.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Q: How does a psychic refer to a blonde?
A: Light reading.
(Sorry, Ms. kk.)
Jennifer visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news: "There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt - prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year." Visibly shaken, Jennifer stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked: "Will I be acquitted?"
Q: Where is a psychic's favorite vacation spot?
A: Astralia.
Classified ad: Wanted - Telepath. You know where to apply.
A: One.
Q: How many psychics does it take to change a light bulb?
Finally, check out Jimbo the Psychic (Deaf Mute) Sideshow Dummy: http://www.octanecreative.com/Parodyville/jimbo/index.html
If you have a joke to tell, post it below in the comments. Or send it to me at: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.
Thanks for the laughs, dearies. Pepperoni!
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4 comments:
Thanks for the smiles Mme...
One afternoon a man was wandering around a fairground and he happened to see a fortune teller's tent, went inside and sat down. "Ah..." said the woman as she gazed into her crystal ball. "I see you are the father of two children." "That's what you think," said the man scornfully. "I'm the father of three children." The mysterious psychic grinned and said, "That's what you think!"
Shorties, but goodies!
Did you hear about the psychic midget who escaped from jail?
The headlines in the newspaper read: "SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE"
NOTICE: 'The Clairvoyant Society will not have its usual meeting this week, due to unforeseen circumstances.'
Why did the psychic cross the road?
To get to the "other side."
I just made that up.
A guy was sitting in the room of "Alhid the All Knowing". He was somewhat nervous due to the fact his had never consulted one before. A figure entered the room, slowly walked out of the shadow and into the dim light. The man in the chair could see a stone grey face with a white beard, and two cold eyes staring right at him. Alhid lifted his boney finger at pointed at the man.
"YOU! You will make a long journey! You will trudge, pacing one foot in front of the other and questioning yourself all along."
Slightly shaking, the man asked, "When?"
"SOON!" Alhid shouted back.
The guy was shaking, and now scared. "Wwwwhhh.....why?" he stammered.
Alhid kicked back sat down in a chair lighting a cigarette "Ya parked in a loading zone dummy and they just hooked it."
Two psychics were at a bar having a psychic beer. The one asks the other "Hows things going?"
The other one looking at his beer "Not too good." he said. "I just got fired from work."
The first one said "Jeeze, sorry to hear that."
The unemployed psychic replied, "And the worst part was, I didn't see it coming!"
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