Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my sweet Danish layer cakes! How are you? How about that stormy weather on Sunday? Of course, I was astral projecting and teleporting all over the place when the atmosphere started to get unstable. It always seems to be that way. If I didn’t know better, I’d think that Mother Nature had it out for me. Anyway, the conditions affected my telemetry and I over or under-shot a number of appointments. Hmph.

No runs, no hits, no errors again this week. No desperate cries for help. No whispered rumors in the night. No revealing pictures stolen in a moment. Nobody who wants to know the truth about tomorrow. Well, except maybe for Mayor Dickert, who recently said in an interview in the Racine Post: "I know what Racine will look like in 10 years. Do you?" (http://news.racinepost.com/2009/08/positively-draft.html) Why yes, Mr. Mayor, I do know what Racine will look like in 10 years. That’s my job. You stick to the mayoring, please, and I’ll stick to the fortune telling. I have enough competition as it is. And if anyone wants to know what Racine will really look like in 10 years, my rates are reasonable.

I’ve just started on the major spring cleaning and painting that I’ve been putting off, just a little. Junior is useless as he continues to claim that he is a dancing robot and not programmed to wash walls or vacuum carpeting. What kind of robot eats Oreos and drinks milk? And has dirty laundry? So I have to work the cleaning and painting in between my regularly and irregularly scheduled appointments. Don’t procrastinate, dearies. Never put off till today what you could’ve done yesterday, because then it would already be done. Thus spake Zoltar.

As a community service, I feel obligated to lend my talents in the search for the owner of the dog which recently bit a 72-year-old man in Racine. The gentleman has now been able to identify the breed of dog as “a fawn colored boxer, boxer/mix type,” according to Racine Uncovered: http://racineuncovered.wordpress.com/2009/08/11/update-dog-bite-victim-identifies-breed-of-dog/. I have been telepathically searching for the dog’s master on my own, but it is difficult to cut through all of the chatter of so many minds. Perhaps if I can connect with the dog, he or she can lead me to the owner. I urge anyone who knows anything about this dog or who owns it, to please call the Racine Health Department at (262) 636-9203. You can do it anonymously. Surreptitiously, even.

Oh my, I really don’t have a lot more to blog about this week. Physical labor sure can take it out of you. But it also puts something back in. It can feel really good to get out and exercise, or stay in and exercise. We’re designed to work. And to rest. That’s what I’m going to do.

Ask me about your work issues or labor pains: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Thank you for reading my blog, sweethearts. I wish all of the Irregulars, and all of Racine, a wonderful week. May your grundies stay dry as you splash through the fountain of life. Oldsmobile!