Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my purple coneflowers! How are you? Summer finally made an appearance in August this year. Better late than never, right? I’ve kept my thermostat low and on the go. I enjoy summer, but I’m not a big fan of the heat. It gives me the vapors.

I received an email from Ms. DogAddicts this week, in which she wrote:

Dear Madame Zoltar,

Doesn't seem like many JTI'ers have any questions.

My neighbor has a BIG mouth. She says the Free Masons have control of the gov., the stock market, (they decide when it goes up or down) and even they have the final say in who will be President.

Can this be true?

Dear Ms. DogAddicts,

Yes, it’s true that many JTIers do not have questions to submit.

I’m teasing. Concerning the “M” word, I do not want to offend anyone or any group, but if you’ve seen the movie National Treasure, then I think you already know the answer to your question. I’m beginning to think that they even control the weather. That might explain the atmospheric “coincidences” that I’ve encountered on my recent travels. My thoughts and feelings on the matter should not be accepted just because I am Madame Zoltar™, though. One should always consider the fair, unbiased, and balanced analysis of objective professionals, such as those who produced this video:



Which brings me to the subject of my next rant, my dears. Please be aware of the danger of cults. They are insidious and exist all around us. You rarely hear of them until someone serves up the cyanide Kool-Aid. They are usually run by an egomaniac who considers himself all-powerful and somehow above his followers. That type of personality disgusts me, Madame Zoltar®. As evidence of how sneaky these cults can be, consider this video, which was recently seized in a raid and contains the original, uncensored soundtrack to a familiar late night TV commercial:



I’d also like to say that I thank my lucky stars every night that I did not make any predictions on when or if Brett Favre would retire. Ha, I’d rather predict the end of time than try to figure that guy out. As for the Minnesota Vikings, we’ll see what I can cook up in my potion lab for them.

So, is Mr. Favre going to be available for the draft in the Irregular Football League? If you haven’t joined the league, you should consider it. You don’t have to know a thing about football to play. You can read Mr. RWWackoStu’s blog about it here: http://www.jtirregulars.com/2009/08/irregular-football-league.html. And you can sign up here: http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/f1/signup.

Don’t forget to pass your problems and questions on to me at: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Thank you for reading my blog. I hope your week to come is filled with wonder and joy. See you next week, my sweets. Fahrenheit!