Monday, September 28, 2009

The thigh bone connected to the hip bone

I just spoke with a buddy. He's having surgery tomorrow: a hip replacement. His hip has been aching more and more over the years, much more than you'd expect from his (mostly office) work. It turns out that the hip was malformed from birth and just got worse with time. Cortisone shots, painkillers, blah, blah, are available and were tried to some extent, but he knew he'd have to get a new hip eventually. So he's doing it.

We spoke for awhile and I tried to be of good cheer. He said he was depressed about having the surgery and just wanted to get it over with. Understandble, I guess. Then he said something that surprised me. He said, "I want you to be an additional witness to this." "What?" I asked. He said, "I wrote the doctor a letter and my wife knows and I'm telling everyone I see before the surgery tomorrow: I want the hip bone that they take out of me."

I paused for a second, stunned by the idea, then I burst out laughing, and I laughed and laughed. "No shit?" I asked. "Yes," he said, "yes."

We talked about it. I told him that he should have drawn up papers with a lawyer beforehand, but he insisted that telling and mailing his doctor was enough. He also repeated the notion that he would be telling everyone tomorrow that he wants the bone (top of the thigh, I guess). I said they'd just sedate him sooner if he acted up. I've heard of people getting their gallstones and teeth after removal. Years ago, I think, kids were even given their tonsils in a jar.

My buddy's argument is, "I've owned these bones all my life. They're mine." I assume there are laws regarding the disposal of body parts, organs, whatever, but I don't know. Maybe he has a case.

14 comments:

Lizardmom said...

creative modern art? I wouldn't know what to do with it but guess it could be interesting to see... maybe..?

Sassa said...

Hey I asked on the operation table to see my innerards after a hysterectomy, and they said I have a right to do so. Ha. The doc came up with a cottage cheese container and showed them to me. Let me tell you they don't look like the pictures you see in books. But then I am extremely interested in the workings of your body. When they remove something does everything ooze into that spot or does it stay an empty hole. Maybe my name should be sicko.

Sassa said...

I also wanted to see my gall bladder when it was removed but they had done something with it so they showed me a picture. It was very colorful..reminded me of the gizzard my grandma removed from a chicken. I started to leaf through the book with the pic and the doc took it away from me. Go figure. BTW I still have all 118 stones they removed. The kids took them to school for show and tell LOL

Sassa said...

PS Can I see the bone? Can I? Can I?

OrbsCorbs said...

His wife just called me. The operation went fine, and, no, he doesn't get the bone. She said the doctor actually looked up the legal reasons why and explained it to my buddy. She also said that she was glad he had something to occupy his mind before the surgery. I'm thinking of getting a soup bone or something from the store and giving it to him.

OKIE said...

Well, if I were going to keep a body part a bone might be the best thing. No slime, no ooze.
Might be an interesting conversation piece. Have to keep it away from the dog....

SER said...

I remember when my mother had her gall stones taken out, they saved them for her.

SER said...

Orbs...that's a scream, I'm thinking of getting a soup bone or something from the store and giving it to him.

You gotta go for it!

hale-bopp said...

Orbs, I am dying to know what are the legal reasons. Seems silly to me. I can't see any reason as long as it is properly disinfected (to prevent any spread of disease of course) that you should be allowed to keep gall stones but not bones.

Sassa said...

I think they experiment on things like that to see if there is a cause to what happened. But don't the Indians have a law that anything removed from their body are to be buried (with them)? I know that an amputated leg is sometimes buried in an open grave.

SER said...

Hale...

Why not bones? There are people all over the world trying to dig them up and figure out who they belong too.

It would look good on the mantel and make one hell of a conversation piece!!!

kkdither said...

I've heard that some people who have parts amputated have phantom pain. I thought you were allowed to bury the parts if you want to. Maybe they don't give them to you to do it though?

I know most anything that they yank out of you around here, goes to Madison to their pathology lab to be checked for Cancer and such.

This blog did go gory. I remember my mom getting her gall stones too. Ick. The thought to see or keep such stuff never even crossed my mind when I recently had surgery. I was glad to be rid of it.

OrbsCorbs said...

hale, when I find out the reason(s) why he couldn't have the bone, I'll let you know. I agree, sanitize it and it's his. Maybe they don't want people selling used body parts?

SER said...

I had my Gall Blatter, appendix and spleen taken out.

I don’t think they would be worth saving after they are run through the “blender”.