No good deed goes unrewarded!

Merry Christmas to all my Irregular Friends!

A very Merry Christmas to you all. I love you guys, every one (Even Hale!) You guys enrich my mind, teach me, make me think and make me laugh. I am grateful for what we have here. May you all have the joy and love of family and friends on your hearts tonight. To quote A Christmas Story "..... tonight, all is right in the world...."

Improv Everywhere @Christmas

There is a great NYC group called Improv Everywhere. They stage what they call missions, which they describe as making unusual things happen in the usual places. Some of their more famous missions include dozens of people shopping at a Best Buy wearing blue shirts and khakis, dozens of people freezing in place for five minutes in Grand Central Station, and riding the subways pantless.

This year they decided to show some love to a Salvation Army bell ringer. They called this mission the Guerrilla Handbell Strikeforce. Fortunately, they always use a lot of hidden (and not so hidden) cameras to record their missions. You can see the result below.



Frequently their goal is to show up out of nowhere, do their thing, and blend back into the crowd. In this case, the goal was to make someone's day.

Enjoy, and hope you all find a little magic during the holidays. Better, yet, make a little magic for someone else.

Can You Make up a Rhyme?

Roses are red
Violets are purple
I’m as sweet
As Maple Sirpol

APRONS

The
History of 'APRONS' !!



I don't think our kids know , what an apron is.

The principal use of Grandma's apron was to protect the dress underneath,because she only had a few,it was easier to wash aprons than dresses and they used less material, but along with that, it served as a potholder for removing hot pans from the oven.

It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears.

From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven.

When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids.

And when the weather was cold, grandma wrapped it around her arms.

Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot wood stove.

Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron.

From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables. After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls.

In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees.

When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds.

When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.

It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that 'old-time apron' that served so many purposes.

REMEMBER:

Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool.

Her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw.

They would go crazy now trying to figure out how many germs were on that apron.

I don't think anyone ever caught anything from an apron !!!!

Ice Sculptures on Monument Square

Merry Christmas Guys!

I miss you all and wish I could have a Christmas drink with you...but that is not to be...so I wish you all only the best of what you wish for yourselves. With hugs and love to all.

Beejay!

PS Just to let you know, it will be 80 degrees here on Christmas Day....eeewww, that was plain mean...sorry. ;)

Best commercial ever

Can it Be Festivus Already?

Let the airing of grievances begin!

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my precocious poinsettias! How are you? Well, it looks like the slush and the slop are going to be with us for awhile. That’s right girls; the men are spending more time indoors. No, tee-hee, oh my, I was just joking. If I remember correctly, we had more snow at this time last year, so I guess we’re ahead of the game.

Speaking of games, did you see our glorious and delirious Packers lose the one last Sunday? Oh my, oh my! That final quarter, those final minutes, that final second! I believe that the laws of gravity were momentarily suspended for the Steelers’ Mike Wallace’s touchdown catch. There are not too many who could accomplish such a feat, but there are a few. If my suspicions are correct, then it would only be fair to give the Packers more blatant help than I have previously. Just keep an eye on our boys this coming Sunday. I’m sorry if you are a Seahawks fan, but someone has to bear the brunt of Zoltar’s wrath!

I received an email this week from the illustrious Mr. SER, who wrote:

Dear Madame Zoltar,

In Racine there is a burning question, “Will our former Mayor spend time in prison?”

We know he has done some plea bargaining and some charges have been dropped!

With that said, no matter what the agreement is, Judge Stephen Simanek, who is presiding over this case, is not bound by that and can make his own decision regarding whether Becker will spend time in prison or on supervision, and how long that sentence would be.

My question is, Do you foresee if Judge Simanek will have the “steelys” to put him in prison?

Dear Mr. SER, to clarify for our readers, they should know that you submitted your question on December 20, three days ago, before Mr. Becker appeared in court yesterday. We now know that Mr. Becker pled guilty to two of the charges, while six others against him were dropped. All of those charges are felonies. Interestingly, the charges that were dropped included those that had mandatory sentencing requirements.

In the comments on the last JTI blog about Mr. Becker (http://www.jtirregulars.com/2009/12/becker-to-enter-plea.html), you, Mr. SER, said:

“Here is my read on the situation:

“5 years in prison – STAYED
Plus
Time spent in jail and time spent wearing a GPS device
Plus
5 years probation

“Combined will be his punishment. Becker was arrested Jan. 13, which now is almost 1 year so he is already down to 4 years left.”

After reading that, my first thought was, “How did he know?” It seems you also are a psychic in this case, Mr. SER, because your prediction is right on. Judge Simanek is retiring, so there’s no political fallout in letting off Mr. Becker easy.

Of course, we both could be wrong. The reason for that is that the future is not set in stone. What I predict is the highest probability at that given moment in time. Things happen in time. Time changes things. The further in the future the predictions are, the less accurate they are likely to be. I can see more events related to this coming up, beyond the sentencing hearing, but now is not the time for that.

Ugh, pardon me while I wash out my mouth. I don’t want to talk about such garbage anymore. It is Christmas this Friday and I’d like to take a moment to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Happy Hanukah! Cool Kwanza! Festive Festivus! I love all of my JT Irregulars and regular readers. I hope you all have very happy holidays. I still have so much more to do before Christmas. I better sign off and get busy. For those of you with a little more leisure time, here’s “Pluto's Christmas Tree,” a 1952 Walt Disney cartoon:



Don’t forget to send your Christmas lists and New Year’s resolutions to: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Everyone please enjoy yourself in the coming days and weeks. Spend some time with those you love. Please remember those less fortunate than you. And also remember: be smart, be safe, be careful. Castoria!

Drunken driving bill

The new bill, is it a good thing or a bad thing?

On the good side, they made some nice changes. On the bad side, the cost is going to be another war on who is going to pay for it.

Attorney General J.B. Van Hollen warned the measure would result in cuts to other areas of law enforcement because of inadequate funding. And the tougher law is expected to cost up to $82 million a year. A fraction of that cost - $12.2 million - will be paid with new fees on offenders. There is no funding mechanism for the rest of the expenses.

Our idiot Governor Doyle said, “the Legislature should allow police to conduct sobriety checkpoints...”.

What is he, a communist or socialist?

As for me, I would like to see for a 3rd drunken driving offence, their vehicle be confiscated and auctioned off. Some might say, ‘what about if he or she has a family and they need the vehicle’. My answer is “too bad so sad”. They know in advance what can and will happen if they are caught for a 3rd offence.

You can read the complete article at JSOnline

The Green Flash Picture I Missed...

I was reviewing my pictures of sunset from last week and found a hidden gem. Normally green flashes occur right at sunset. Therefore, I missed this one which was taken well before sunset. I cropped it to give us the best view of the flash. Click the image for the full size version.

Just goes to show, you can see green flashes much earlier than most people think!

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

Jack Bauer Meets His Match

Let's Offend Everybody

Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat.

Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A. A different bar.

Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?
A. Sum Ting Wong.

Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment.

Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek ?
A. Because they're not going to work in the future either.

Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal along with a recipe.

Q How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word?
A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, 'BINGO!'

Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale???
A. A northern fairytale begins...'Once upon a time...'A southern fairytale begins.... 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit.'

Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States

"The Christmas Can-Can" by Straight No Chaser

Never heard of these guys until a friend emailed me a link to this video.

Here's their website: http://www.sncmusic.com/

Does Alcohol in Eggnog Kill the Bacteria?

Well, there's only one way to find out. Make some eggnog and take some cultures of course. The folks at Science Friday took on the challenge and you can see their results (and their eggnog recipe).

Dont look now JTI fantasy football fans

The worst team in the league to make the playoffs, is about to make the finals. Had a big plate of Creampuffs this weekend!

Saving money at what cost?

Here is a crazy one: Energy-saving traffic lights blamed in crashes.

MILWAUKEE - Cities around the country that have installed energy-efficient traffic lights are discovering a hazardous downside: The bulbs don't burn hot enough to melt snow and can become crusted over in a storm — a problem blamed for dozens of accidents and at least one death.

Wisconsin, which has put LED bulbs at hundreds of intersections, saves about $750,000 per year in energy costs,

Several states are testing possible solutions, including installing weather shields, adding heating elements like those used in airport runway lights, or coating the lights with water-repellent substances. Exactly how much a technological fix will cost is unclear, but it will surely cut into the savings and the energy efficiency many cities are enjoying.

You can read the complete story at LED Traffic Lights

A follow up to KK's Jokes

I'm Off to Hooters...Doctors Orders

A study conducted by Dr. Karen Weatherby in Germany has concluded that men who stare at women's breasts on a regular basis have better health, lower blood pressure and less coronary disease.

"Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female, is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out."

Where did they find the control group for this study? Isn't is possible that it was the stress of NOT staring that led to all the health problems? What about gay guys? Are they not able to have the benefits from this research (or do they have to stare at well endowed men?) These are the questions I want answers to.