For a change, I'm going to do a serious post.
As you may or may not know, I wear two hearing aids and have for about three years now....I have tinnitus...a buzzing, hissing sound that causes you to not be able to hear conversation clearly. I am not shy about them, nor do I try to conceal the fact that I have a hearing loss. HOWEVER, I am a bit taken aback by the reaction from STUPID people. A hearing loss is a disability...a serious disability. My right ear has a 28% hearing loss, which is unheard of (excuse the pun) at my age.
When I was first diagnosed with this problem, I mentioned it to a fellow sitting to my right that I had a problem hearing him...he made fun of me...'huh---duh what...' Not funny...but what really hurt was when my nephew who has dyslexia, both audio and visually, made fun of me...and wouldn't stop...this is a 40 year old man.
Do people dismiss a hearing loss as a 'not real' disability??? I would never dream of making fun of the fact that it takes him six times as long to read something as it does me...nor will I remind him who helped him when he was a little guy with reading....
The guy in my life told me not to worry about it, he has great hearing and he will hear for both of us. And, yes, he is a gem...but a few weeks ago, I was trying to help out at his store and couldn't hear because someone had turned up the radio behind me. I don't think anyone did this intentionally, but I had a problem asking that it be lowered. It is embarrassing to me. When I say couldn't hear, I mean I couldn't make out what they were saying, just that I did know they were saying something!
People have no patience for someone with a hearing loss...like you think this is voluntary????
My line to folks has been, 'don't whisper sweet nothings in my right ear, cuz that's exactly what they will be 'SWEET NOTHINGS!'
I go for another hearing test on Wednesday to see why my hearing aids are not doing the job I want them to do....nothing will bring back the hearing I have lost, but if I could get rid the tinnitus, then the aids would improve my ability to hear immensely. A dream, I'm sure.....
A lot of you know me personally (well, okay, most of you do...duh) and know that I love music and love to dance and have fun...picture me in a bar with the music going...yeah, I can hear the music, but I can't hear you at all.....I want it all!!!!
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22 comments:
You have to chalk it up to ignorance on their part or embarrassment on not knowing how to handle your disability.
I think the fact that you embrace it with dignity is something to be proud of. And... you are a natural born teacher. Think of it as educating the {ignorant} masses.
If I'm talking too quiet, ask me to speak up. It is probably really juicy stuff and you will be sorry to miss it!!!
kk, I can always hear you! ;)
You aren't saying I'm LOUD?
oops, need adverb... quietly. fie!
I know what you are going through Beejay, mine is the left ear. Had two surgeries on it and could hear better for a while but with age, that is dwindling. People don't understand that it is just as frustrating not to hear as it is for them to repeat themselves.
How many times have we acted like we heard something when we've caught just bits or pieces, just out of pure frustration?
I cannot tell you how many times I've told my boss, do not talk to me when I'm on the phone because I'm listening with the good ear which makes the bad ear even worse.
I guess we should just accept bad behavior.
People just don't understand how insensitive they can be sometimes.
Oh no, kk, not loud...I just know how you think!
Mary, you are so right...we pretend to hear stuff sometimes and just smile...
I know people don't realize how hurtful it is to make jokes and poke fun .... and to make it even worse, I am not good at lip-reading...
Same here, Beejay. Just tell me to speak up. I have a visual impairment and I learned early on that I could avoid social embarrassment and miss most of life, or I could just walk up close to things to see them. When I read, I have to hold things inches from my eyes. In the grocery store, my face is right in the shelves. I don't care what other people think.
An adult ridiculing you, though, is just asinine.
Btw, when people point off to something in the distance, I just nod my head as if I can see it.
People can be rude when things aren't personally affecting them. You nephew.. that's just plain dumb!
I know I have a tendency to not speak loudly or clear. Just remind me..
DH's Dad & MIL are deaf, he wears an aide, she doesn't. Conversations are difficult at times.
I hope your next appointment will bring you some answers. I want to see you dancing, singing and hearing everything the next time I see you!
Idiots are not worthy of listening to.
Wooohoooo, I can softly talk dirty to you...ahhhh shit, that would be any fun!
Beejay, I do sympathize with you. I really do. I understand to what you are going through completely. The same has happened to me many times!
I guess this is a good time to let the cat of the bag. I too, do wear hearing aids. Have doing so for more than 10 years. The problem is hereditary, worsened by my listening to loud rock music and working a factory.
There is a blog out there I helped write telling about my condition. Please read.
Tinnitus is is also a serious condition. The loud ringing in the ears is enough to drive anybody nuts! Believe me, I know of a few people who suffer this.
Beejay, once again I sympathize with your situation. Be thankful for those who know your condition and are willing to work with it:)
BTW is there anybody out there know American Sign Language? Or where I can learn? I've done some research and I've found nothing. I really want to learn...
Now wait, Drew, you learn that and then you're going to talk about me in front of my face..I know it, I just know it....
They normally offer ASL at your local junior college or senior/community centers...it is offered down here at our cultural center.
And just to let you know, I am not depressed about the situation...more angry than anything. I keep wondering why my nephew felt he had to assault me like he did...I am not angry at him...he can't help his parentage...must be my brother's fault! Some things you do not tease folks about...
The high point of this whole thing was when my audiologist asked me to attend a dinner (on her) to present the real picture of who is hearing impaired in this day and age. I didn't make it and she has lectured me on that several times....guess I need to be pro-active in that area. Yeah, I know, a free meal and all...
DA, don't worry, I can still hear the music and dance...and if I can't hear any of you guys, I will definitely let you know...it is the high pitched voices that cause me trouble.
I can relate to the difficult conversations; my mother in law is stone deaf without her aids and refuses to wear them...duhhhhhh......angers me tremendously...
Orbs, I will read to you and you can whisper in my left ear!!!!
SER, I know you whispered sweet, dirty things in my right ear...it is still ringing!!!!
It is a hardship at times, guys, but I do manage to survive. Right now, however, I am having trouble with my right ear...the audiologist turned the right hearing aid down, but all I can hear out of that ear is hissing....so we will see.....
And once again, I see what a great group of people you all are...thanks for the ear...oh, gosh, me and those puns!!!! Have to stop that...nah, won't happen!
Beejay, I can understand the anger, the sadness, and the isolation of hearing loss can breed. Too many people are unsympathetic about this. It's a damn shame. A curse sometimes. I'm just forever thankful to those who willing to understand and go through the extra mile to try to communicate.
As a person who has a stutter, I completly understand how you feel, while not a disability, I have been laughed at enough, as a child, and still to this day. Just remember that there are those people who take you for what you are. The good and the bagage. These are the people we need in our lives.
Well, the hearing test did not go well...I have a loss of 50% speech recognition in my right ear...I am being referred to an ENT to check for a tumor (once again!)...anyway, these tumors are almost never malignant, so that is not a concern....but the removal is done by cyber-knife or some such thing....I feel like I'm in a horror film.
But if it did turn out to be a tumor and it is surgically repairable, that would be a good thing? Blast of the laser and you are good to go? No?
Can't recover the lost hearing, but will preserve my hearing that is left...it is the right side that is primarily affected.
Sort of a weird thing overall...it came on all the sudden and I have been asking my doctor right along if I should see an ENT. Now after six months, I take another dip in hearing recognition...from 72% to 50%. I can hear noises, but can't distinquish the words. (this is the right ear only). But what happens, it all speech is then distorted and I end up taking out the right aid, which eliminates most of my hearing in that ear. End result, if you are on my right side you need to poke me, write me notes, etc. Over three years later, finally, I get to see an ENT! And, goody, goody, I get another MRI focused on the acoustical nerve. Fun and games.
Stu, amen to that!
Update, if anyone finds it:
Saw an ENT this week...not the news I wanted to hear...sounds like my auditory nerve was attacked by a shingles type virus, thus destroying or scarring it...nothing that can be done. They will review my latest hearing test and MRI and more than likely require another MRI to totally eliminate any possibility of a tumor (minimal chance and never malignant).
Tinnitus is something that I'm stuck with, but the hearing aids should totally eliminate it...NEVER has, never will....mine makes it somewhat less on some days and louder on others...go figure.
He will run another hearing test just to confirm my audiologist's findings...
And, duh, 'you don't look 60!' What does 60 look like?
oh gosh, Beejay.. I'm sorry that you didn't get better news.
Another MRI tomorrow morning...
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