I'm passing this on as I did not want to be the only old fart receiving it.
Actually, it's not a bad thing to be called, as you will see. Old Farts are easy to spot at sporting events; during the playing of the Star Spangled Banner. Old Farts remove their caps and stand at attention and sing without embarrassment. They know the words and believe in them.
Old Farts remember World War II, Pearl Harbor, Guadalcanal , Normandy and Hitler. They remember the Atomic Age, the Korean War, The Cold War , the Jet Age and the Moon Landing. They remember the 50 plus Peacekeeping Missions from 1945 to 2005, not to mention Vietnam .
If you bump into an Old Fart on the sidewalk he will apologize. If you pass an Old Fart on the street, he will nod or tip his cap to a lady. Old Farts trust strangers and are courtly to women.
Old Farts hold the door for the next person and always, when walking, make certain the lady is on the inside for protection.
Old Farts get embarrassed if someone curses in front of women and children and they don't like any filth or dirty language on TV or in movies.
Old Farts have moral courage and personal integrity. They seldom brag unless it's about their children or grandchildren.
It's the Old Farts who know our great country is protected, not by politician's, but by the young men and women in the military serving their country.
This country needs Old Farts with their work ethic, sense of responsibility, pride in their country and decent values.
We need them now more than ever.
Thank God for Old Farts!
Pass this on to all the Old Farts you know.
I was taught to respect my elders. It's just getting harder to find them.
For those old farts like me who can't read all of the illustration, here's a larger version: http://www.onlineeducation.net/farts/. (OK, so you can't suffocate in a chamber of your own farts, but I bet you can in a chamber of someone else's farts.)
ReplyDeleteYou know, if "Old Farts trust strangers," I might not be an old fart anymore.
Hey this is right up my.....alley! The mud farts are a thing. My kids call them "tracers". You can tell when someone has one. You'll see them do the one cheek lift, a little bit of face contortion, and then the words "OH OH!" come out of their mouth first before, you know what comes out from you know where.
ReplyDeleteThe farty food was interesting too! If you really want to give your cheeks a work out, chow down on trail mix with nuts raisins and coconut in it. Boy talk about fermentation! I could go on and on......
By the way, you know what "thought" did? Like the guy thought he had to fart but crapped his pants instead....
This blog has a good incite on old farts. It just made me think that the little shits running around today will become the old farts of tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteA little ditty my mother taught me: Here I sit broken hearted, paid 10 cents and only farted.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad I read the fart fact sheet.(?) I wish I would have had orbs link before I fought my way though the tiny print.
I was at a small faternal meeting last nite where we sing 3 countries anthems. A youngster about 6 or 7 ran around all the time showing no interest in the songs. Don't they sing the national anthem in schools anymore?
ReplyDeleteUs Dane's would say you dasen't fart when the Turtle is poking it's head out.
ReplyDeleteToad, that is a new one on my danish self; lmao, sure sounds like something one of my uncles would have said....
ReplyDeleteKK: Really it's not Danish. I just remember my dad saying "Dasent" all the time. I always thought that was Danish. Actually the Turtle part belongs to my Son-In-Law. He alway say's "time to go, the turtle is poking it's head out" He's weird like me.
ReplyDeleteThe politically correct term is now "irregular."
ReplyDeleteBoth my parents and grandparents were off the boat Danes. As kids we weren't allowed to say "fart", but when somebody cut one we could say "who fimpsed?" Now whether "fimps" is a real Danish word or not is up in question because I couldn't find it in the dictionary. But when someone really ripped one that left it's signature in the air for a while, it was upgraded to "fis". And that is Danish for "fart".
ReplyDeleteI can relate to "dasen't" I heard that all the time too.
ReplyDeleteBoth my parents and grandparents were off the boat Danes. As kids we weren't allowed to say "fart", but when somebody cut one we could say "who fimpsed?" Now whether "fimps" is a real Danish word or not is up in question because I couldn't find it in the dictionary. But when someone really ripped one that left it's signature in the air for a while, it was upgraded to "fis". And that is Danish for "fart".
ReplyDeleteOkay, my mom said dasn't too. I'm certain it was a Danish thing.
ReplyDeleteThere is proper Danish and low Danish, the one for peasants or farmers. Maybe that is why you can't find it in the dictionary. Fimps is a fart and fis is the more serious version (you better be sitting)... at least that was my general understanding as a child.
Anybody want to go BACK to Denmark? ONE WAY?
ReplyDelete