Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my delectable delphiniums! How are you? I feel just terrible about missing the get together last week, and before you roll your eyes and brush me off, please let me explain. I was with my special friend who I met on Aruba. How he tracked me down, I’ll never know. (It couldn’t have been all those business cards that I stuck in every crevice of his belongings, could it?) Anyway, he appeared at my door just as I was about to leave for the get together. I was so surprised to see him. He brought flowers. Oh my. Such a dear. I wanted to bring him along, but he wouldn’t hear of it. I thought it would be cute to appear with my new friend when Ms. Beejay was also appearing with hers. It would have been nice. But my dear Vito insisted that he could not go. People in his line of work often have to keep a low profile. He didn’t even want me to telephone any of you to say that I would miss the meet. It was a terrible dilemma: honor my commitment to the Irregulars or follow my heart with Vito? Alas, you know what I decided. I apologize if any of you were offended by my absence. How can I make it up to you? Please, tell me, do.

The thing is, I don’t know when, or if, I’ll see Vito again. He says that if we are going to have any kind of relationship, that is how it must be. He doesn’t want to endanger me by associating me with him and his work, so we must hide our love from the world, and grab whatever time together we can get. I don’t know. I don’t know if I can live like that. Unlike my ex, I believe that Vito is being upfront with me about life with him, and I’m not sure that I want what he’s offering. Oh dear. I want him, but I don’t want him on the run, or on the side, or on occasion. I want him completely. What should I do?

Where do the advice givers go for advice? Physician, heal thyself. If you think Mother Nature is difficult to deal with, you haven’t met Cupid. Love is blind, deaf, and dumb. Well, enough about my tribulations, dears. I was so happy to read that all had a good time at the get together. I would so love to have met Mr. Dan, Ms. Beejay’s friend, and all of the other Irregulars. I don’t blame Ms. kk for enjoying a margarita or two. Eat, drink and be merry with family and friends. Or, as Mr. OrbsCorbs likes to exalt: party on! The JT Irregulars are a rowdy, raucous bunch, but I love every last one of them to the bottom of my heart. I promise that if don’t make it to the next get together, I’ll put the infamous and dreaded Zoltar® Curse on myself.

There were no frantic pleas for help from the huddled masses this week, yearning to be free. No emails, either. If you would like to query me or make a comment, please send me an email via: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com. If you desire a confidential answer, I am willing to do that. If you want detailed, specific replies to questions about the past, present and/or future, that, too, can be arranged. Most major credit cards are accepted.

I’ve been so self-absorbed with personal issues that I haven’t been paying much attention to things that have happened in my beloved Racine lately. One thing I did notice, however, is a very nice article about our town’s Dr. Laurel Clark Fountain foibles. Mr. Dustin, from the Racine Post, wrote a short piece entitled, “11 ways to save the Laurel Clark Fountain.” You can read it here: http://news.racinepost.com/2010/05/11-ways-to-save-laurel-clark-fountain.html. I just want to say that I empathize with Mr. Dustin and all the other people who want to see the fountain somehow made child-friendly and legal at the same time. This is a great opportunity for someone to step forward and lead the drive to raise the money or do whatever else it takes to sanitize and legalize the fountain.

That’s my spiel for this week, my dear friends, and I’m sticking to it. I hope that each of you is doing well and that you enjoy our time together as much as I do. I love you sweeties with every irregular beat of my heart. Be careful on these windy, chilly days, or you may be swept right off your feet. Amore!