Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my magnificent marigolds! How are you? Have you been taking advantage of this glorious weather and going to some of our festivals and concerts? Maybe some out of town events? It’s that time of year and we better enjoy it while we can because in 6 months we’ll be talking about what we can’t do, in January. Oh dear, just the thought of that makes me shiver. Turn up the fan and sip some more iced tea. Be sure to get out and take advantage of all that Racine and the surrounding area have to offer. We are fortunate to live where we do.

I know that one good source for information on upcoming events is the Racine Post’s Racine Kiosk: http://kiosk.racinepost.com/ Another source is Downtown Racine Corporation’s Calendar of Events: http://racinedowntown.com/calendar.html (Shame on you, Journal Times, for still having up last year’s Downtown Events page.) Oh my, it’s “Micros on the Monument” this Saturday: http://racinedowntown.com/microcar.html I’ve known a few men with micro brains and micro other things. I wouldn’t think it would be anything to be crowing about.

This week I received a missive from the illustrious and scholarly Mr. Hale-Bopp, entitled “Confusion.” In it, he wrote:

Dear Madame Z,

As an astronomer, it is common to be mistaken for an astrologer. I have also worked in physics and our dyslexia challenged population occasionally mistakes me for a psychic. This happens often enough that at universities we sometimes joke that we work in the department of Psychics and Astrologers (instead of the common name of the department of Physics and Astronomy).

So I was wondering if you were ever mistaken for a physicist or astronomer.

Hale-Bopp

Oh, Mr. Hale-Bopp, thank you so much for taking time out of your busy and important schedule to contact me regarding an issue of mutual interest. Have you been invited to any more Washington beltway insider festivities lately, sir? Have you ever considered the advantages of escorting a certified psychic to such an event? We could entertain our hosts and their guests with our mesmerizing tales of psychic/physics mix-ups and astronomer/astrologer malapropisms.

Yes, it happens to me, too, and to others in my line of work. I occasionally receive telephone calls asking me where to look for Uranus. It can be frustrating. Prospective customers turn out to be interested in, say, Hailey’s comet or your namesake, Mr. Hale-Bopp, instead of a reading. When I try to explain to them who I am and what I do, I get the strangest looks. Some have even laughed – not for long, of course. And the next fool who wants to talk about the Big Bang Theory may just receive the bang of his life.

Ahem, excuse me, sometimes I get a little worked up. It can be hard enough to eke out a living in these dark times, but it’s only made more difficult by what you rightfully call “our dyslexia challenged population.” I wonder how many prospective clients we have lost to each other because of their confusion. I would think that anyone seeking psychic advice who hears “E=mc²” will probably not be looking me up in the future. What a shame.

Thank you everyone for reading my blog this week. Was “magnificent marigolds” a greeting that I’ve used before, my dears? I’ve written so many blogs now that I can’t remember them all. No matter, you know that I love you and watch over you, irregular and regular alike. I try to return every iota of love that you give to me.

Don’t forget to send your love letters and hate mail to me at: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Keep enjoying the summer. There are lots of good fruits and vegetables in the stores and farmers’ markets. Be careful of too much sun, dears, and keep yourselves hydrated. Surf’s up! Perihelion!