A Little Boy

Why I write this here I do not know. I guess I have a bit of a heavy heart and need to unburden it a bit. I'm not sure.. Don't know what I expect for responses or if anyone will respond, not sure it's really right to tell this story as it's not mine, this comes from what I myself heard from her whether right or not here it goes...

Last week in a little town close to me there was a report of a little 3 year old boy who drown in a pool. I was sad to hear this news as I sit and think that my daughter Mina is 3 years old I could only imagine what the family must be going though, a horrid thought.

Today I was talking to my mother in law, who is very active in helping people of other cultures acclimate themselves in Swedish society, as it is not an easy culture to become a member in. Some two years ago she took on the responsibility of being what is called a contact person for a family that comes from Iraq. Well not quite a whole family as it was only a woman and her 1 year old son. She fled Iraq just over 2 years ago to Sweden because she had a baby with a man she was not married to, not only that he was an Egyptian man, truly scandalous.. She was once married and had 4 children with that man, something happened and he died (not sure what that story was)she then got together with this other man and got pregnant. Turns out this man is very abusive and she needs to get away from not only her dead husbands family who call her a whore but this new man whom she became this whore for...

She has tried to acclimate herself in this society but the need to work is far more important than spending real time trying to learn the language. If she does not work she will have no where to live or food to eat (within a certain standard as Sweden is a very liberal country and there is always help to be had but it's not easy to live on that).. School for the language is at the same time as her work so of course she chooses her work over school..

She left her 4 other children back in Iraq as she did not have the means to take them with her. They stayed with her dead husbands family no longer went to school because the family would not pay for it. They were expected to basically take care of everything around the house if they wanted to live there. The whole time they (dead husbands family) are telling her kids what a whore their mother is and unclean and everything truly despicable..

This woman was having a hard time with the whole situation, her 4 children back in Iraq and worried about the war going on there with her children so far away, she trying to get into the Swedish way, dealing with a very active and "difficult" 1 year old who unfortunately reminded her of the man that beat her..

She finally through a lot of paper work and saving of money got her 4 kids here, thank goodness, but they had been pretty much brain washed when they got here. So instead of getting her children safe and thought she would be happy. Instead she got kids that called her a whore. The oldest who is now over 18 thinks it's okay to spit at and scream at his mother. The youngest is a bastard child and not worth much.

My MIL like I said was a contact person for this family, which meant that she was to come help out when needed. Sometimes she would just need a break and have my MIL come and take the youngest. He has spent many nights over by them. My daughter Mina would play with him out at the parks around here. He was a difficult child only because of the situation he was in. As soon as he would be away from the mess of the family he would turn into this extremely sweet but extremely active little boy. he wanted to run and you really had to keep a close eye on him.

Last week sometime after his mother picked him up from daycare they went home to their apartment on the bottom floor. It was a hot day so all doors and windows were open. He needed to go to the bathroom so he took off his pants and sat on the pot. His mother went into the kitchen to start dinner. After (I don't know how long) some time she went to check on him because she didn't hear him call for her to tell her he was done and he was no longer there. She immediately went out calling for him and send the rest of her family out to look for him but could not find him. Later on that night he was found in a neighbors pool.... lifeless..

Today was the funeral. From what I understand a pretty typical Muslim funeral. They had it at the house. It started with a person washing his body and wrapping it in cloth. They put his clean wrapped body on a board and walked a procession to a part of graveyard that was set aside for Muslim families. They laid his body down in a grave. Only the men were allowed to be near the grave, the women had to keep farther back and they covered his body with dirt. This sweet little active boy is no longer in this world and it breaks my heart.

I don't really know how to feel about it. I knew him but not extremely well.. my daughter played with him but not that often. I am holding my children a little harder today and hopefully everyday from now on. I know that death happens to us all but you really don't expect it in a little boy of 3 years old. So it's really chocking and upsetting.. Thank you for letting me vent, like I said I really don't know if I should be writing about this but it's the only way that I can express myself right now and it feels like I really needed to get it out there somewhere.