Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my harvest moons! How are you? Have you been enjoying the delightful weather that Mother Nature continues to provide? It has been perfect for brisk runs, languorous walks, and cozy nights. The only thing missing lately has been some rain. Not to criticize, Mater dear, but it has been dry for a few weeks. At this time of year, most of us don’t consider that a big deal because we see plants and growth shutting down for the winter. But if you have evergreen trees or shrubs on your property, you might want to start watering them before the ground freezes. Although many trees and shrubs lose their leaves and go dormant before winter, evergreens’ “leaves” (needles, awls, whorls, etc.) stay green because they are active year round. Water vapor continues to evaporate from them during the winter even though their roots cannot take up water from the frozen ground. It’s usually a good idea to give your evergreens a little more water just before winter sets in so they can soak up as much as possible.

And while we’re on the subject of the weather, I received a question from one of the most wonderful Irregulars that I know, Mr. SER. Here it is:

Madame Zoltar,

This year the weather has been interesting to say the least. The weather even messed up the JTI picnic.

My question is, “Do you foresee any snow for the deer hunters this coming Thanksgiving?” It is always nice to have a little snow to track a deer if required.

Additionally, do you see in your crystal ball if the winter in going to be a cold one, I’m talking a lot of zero degrees or in the minus numbers?

......SER

Thank you so much for your submission, Mr. SER. I just love getting messages from my Irregulars and other fans. It is always a pleasure to connect with one another.

Mr. SER, I know you understand that I cannot be held liable for an always accurate prediction of the weather because of the will and whims of Mother Nature. (I swear that at times she has perversely set the weather on a course directly contrary to my predictions simply to shame and embarrass me.) With that in mind, I know that you desire only my “best guess” scenario, provided that all factors stay more or less equal to what they are now and progress normally for the next few months. In that case, and only in that case, I predict no snow cover for Thanksgiving and another winter like the last couple: fairly mild. I don’t know if it’s global warming or just another infinitesimal up-tick in the eons of time, but I believe that the heat is on again this year. Now you be sure to watch, Mr. SER and everyone else, just because I predicted it, the exact opposite will happen. There will be a foot of snow on the ground by Thanksgiving and this winter will one of the coldest on record. Oh my.

I just have to say something about our illustrious Green Bay Packers, but I don’t know what. Last Sunday’s overtime loss to the Miami Dolphins was heartbreaking. Oh dear. This Sunday night we’re up against the detested Minnesota Vikings, led by no other than the despised Brett Favre. Given the emotional overtones of this match up, I may have to take a personal interest in the affair. We shall see.

Thank you for reading my blog this week, my lovely lovey-doves. It is an honor and a pleasure to be a member of such a glorious group. May the crunching leaves of autumn bring smiles to your faces and a warm glow to your hearts.

Rake up your scribblings and dribblings, and bag them off to: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Watch out for the first frost of the season to nip your nose. Make sure your car is ready for winter. I don’t mean to cluck like a nagging mother hen, but the time of year approaches when it is prudent to be prepared. I love you all, Irregulars. Zarf and zills!