Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my White-breasted Nuthatchers! How are you? Can you believe that Thanksgiving is only a week away and our temperatures are still in the 50’s? Can you believe that Thanksgiving is only a week away? Where does the time go? The Fourth of July parade was just last month, wasn’t it? Well, I hope that you have your plans in place for the holiday. Those of you hosting the feast are probably preparing already. And those who partake are whetting their appetites. For those who cannot afford a Thanksgiving meal, or have no one to share with, two fine local businessmen have arranged a free community Thanksgiving meal at Festival Park: http://www.journaltimes.com/news/local/article_3b9d5c4a-ed93-11df-b9a6-001cc4c03286.html. What a wonderful thing to do for Racine! Thank you so much, Mr. Johnson and Mr. Stibeck. And thank you to the city for donating the use of the site and thank you to all of the volunteers who will help with the meal.

Another worthy event takes place a week from tonight: the Thoughts for Food Autumn Benefit. For the price of admission ($10) and a donation of two non-perishable food items, you get great music at various venues while helping the hungry in Racine. Get more information at their website: http://www.thoughtsforfood.org.

I hope that our august and celebrated Green Bay Packers have rested well during their bye week. This Sunday they again face the notorious Minnesota Vikings and traitor quarterback Brett Favre. I don’t care what you say about the current season’s standings or the physical and mental condition of quarterbacks, the Vikings are always a threat to our beloved Packers. May Green Bay smite them!

I received an email this week from the abstruse Mr. OrbsCorbs. It was entitled “Frustrated” and reads thus:

Dear Madame Zoltar,

I hope that you can help me resolve this dilemma. I’ve been having trouble with my truck for a long time now, and it’s been looked at/worked on by a couple of professional, as well as a number of unprofessional (myself included), mechanics. I have over $500 invested in this and counting. I thought the problem was finally resolved last month, when the engine’s intake manifold gasket was replaced.

Everything was fine until yesterday. Suddenly the Service Engine Soon light came on (again – arrgh!). It posted a trouble code, twice. I cleared them both. Today it posted another one. This is just how the problem started a year ago. What’s up? Can you help me?

Respectfully,
OrbsCorbs

Dear Mr. OrbsCorbs: Thank you so much for contacting me regarding your difficulties. I am sorry, but vehicle repair is not one of my specialties, so I went into a trance and consulted the spirit of the late, great Henry Ford. He appeared to be more than obliging, but the ether was unstable and our connection was poor. Mr. Ford seemed to understand the question, but the interference was considerable and I had trouble receiving his reply. Once he realized that, he repeated two words over and over. I had difficulty making them out. I am almost positive that the first word was “vacuum.” So I was sure that he must be saying “vacuum cleaner.” But he wasn’t. The second word sounded a lot like “peek,” but I’m not sure, Mr. OrbsCorbs. Does any of that make sense to you? I’m sorry, I tried my best. I hope that helps somehow.

Thank you dear readers, Irregular and otherwise, for spending some time with me today. I look forward to our visits like a child anticipates Christmas. You are the gifts that I receive. Thank you for such wonderful presents.

Send you secret stuffing recipes and acerbic critiques to: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

I hope that you all have a wonderful week to come. If you have a chance, spend a little time thinking about what you have to be thankful for in your life. An “attitude of gratitude” always seems to get good results. Lampadomancy!