Phil goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers the urologist is a very pretty female doctor.
The female doctor says, "I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say, '99' ".
Phil obeys and says,"99".
The doctor says, "Great". Now turn over on your left side and again, while repeat the check, take a deep breath and say, '99".
Again, Phil says, '99'."
The doctor said, "Very good. Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly. I'm going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way. Now take a deep breath and say, '99'.
Phil begins, "One .. Two ...Three".
Saturday, October 23, 2010
"Man Eats Pumpkin, Pumpkin Eats Man"
http://www.youtube.com/user/MrArturoTrejo
I think this is funny, but I've learned that I have a warped sense of humor. The guy has 63 videos uploaded to his YouTube site (above) and almost 50,000 subscribers, so someone else must enjoy him, too. I suspect that Nancy is a very understanding woman.
What kind of drinker are you????
2 glasses of wine
2 bottles of wine .. shared, of course
too many margaritas
3 kamikazes
7 rum and Cokes
1 LARGE purple haze
3 Martinis
1 Bottle of Tequila
My life has moved on!
SER, DA, KK, ORBS, STU, ABBEY,LIZARDMOM, TOAD, and anyone else who was here three years ago.
Three years ago today, my husband lost his battle with heart disease. It doesn't seem possible, but, yes, it has been three years.
Immediately following his funeral, like probably two days, you guys set up a gathering at a little restaurant on Hy 20....I hemmed and hawed, but finally got out of my car and went into that joint alone, for the very first time in my entire adult life. I never entered a bar/restaurant alone unless my husband was waiting for me or I was meeting a friend. Here I was meeting a bunch of folks I had met (gasp) on-line. You opened your arms to me and really were there for me during Doug's final illness and immediately after his death.
Thank you all so much for all the love you showed then and you show now.
I have found out who I am without a man and then decided since I was pretty okay with that, I would try the waters again. Wow...luck was with me and now I have another wonderful man in my life...and, again, you guys opened your arms to me with this new guy.
Thanks for the friendship and support you have given me during these changing times in my life.
Love,
Beejay
Three years ago today, my husband lost his battle with heart disease. It doesn't seem possible, but, yes, it has been three years.
Immediately following his funeral, like probably two days, you guys set up a gathering at a little restaurant on Hy 20....I hemmed and hawed, but finally got out of my car and went into that joint alone, for the very first time in my entire adult life. I never entered a bar/restaurant alone unless my husband was waiting for me or I was meeting a friend. Here I was meeting a bunch of folks I had met (gasp) on-line. You opened your arms to me and really were there for me during Doug's final illness and immediately after his death.
Thank you all so much for all the love you showed then and you show now.
I have found out who I am without a man and then decided since I was pretty okay with that, I would try the waters again. Wow...luck was with me and now I have another wonderful man in my life...and, again, you guys opened your arms to me with this new guy.
Thanks for the friendship and support you have given me during these changing times in my life.
Love,
Beejay
Friday, October 22, 2010
Tell me a joke!
I've had enough serious crap to last a lifetime this week...tell me a joke....I want to laugh so hard I cry....
Another Swedish Musician
I'm actually getting out and about tonight, going on a hot date with my husband. We are going to go to a concert at a very small and intimate venue so I am really looking forward to it. The performer we are seeing is named Kristofer Åström and he has been someone I have liked for some time now.. I tought this would be a great opportunity to share a song of his to you. This song is one of my favorites by him. I think it is musically beautiful to listen to but the lyrics are quite the opposite. This time it's in English so please enjoy..
Four for Fridays
Hello everyone! Thank goodness, it's Friday! It has been a crazy week working overtime. Looking forward to relaxation this weekend. Here are this week's random questions...
1) Do you have a certain phobia? If so, what are you afraid of?
2) Who do you think is the best American president?
3) If were on death row, what do you want your last meal to be?
4) What you think is the best sight in your town?
Enjoy your weekend!
1) Do you have a certain phobia? If so, what are you afraid of?
2) Who do you think is the best American president?
3) If were on death row, what do you want your last meal to be?
4) What you think is the best sight in your town?
Enjoy your weekend!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
The Flu Shot
Last year there was a big hoopla about the H1N1 (swine) flu and vaccinations. I got both the regular flu shot and the H1N1 shot. I always get the regular shot and have already received this year's vaccination, which includes the swine flu strains in it.
Are you getting vaccinated this year? Why or why not? Irregular minds want to know.
A Suicidal Comet
Comets pass near the Sun all the time. We rarely see them since they are frequently small and they are up in the middle of the day since they are close to the Sun in the sky.
Occasionally, one catches our attention. The Solar and Heliospheric Observatory (SOHO) has been up there looking at the Sun since 1995 and seen thousands of these comets. Yesterday it saw a good one. Click the picture to animate it.
The comet doesn't re-emerge on the other side! It probably didn't "crash" into the Sun in the classic sense of the word. Comets are primarily made of ice and this was a small comet so it would have melted long before it hit the surface of the Sun. We see the nice tail form as bits of the comet break off as it melts.
This comet is probably part of what is known as the Kreutz family of comets. Kreutz Comets are sungrazing comets. Based on their orbits, we have a lot of evidence that they all came from a large comet that passed near the Sun and broke up into small pieces a few thousand years ago (based on the number of pieces and their orbits, we can work backwards to get an approximate time frame). SOHO has seen many of these comets over the years.
Comets are cool...watching their last pass of the Sun is spectacular!Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.
The Very Model of a Modern U.S. President
This ought to test the sense of humor of all political stripes here.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Legal Thievery
Why should we worry about shootings, robbery or any crime in Racine when you have the local government and school board members treating the people of Racine like...I won’t say it, but it ain’t good.
But they will tell you it is for the better of the people!
Taxes on the Rise
More shit from Unified
But they will tell you it is for the better of the people!
Taxes on the Rise
More shit from Unified
Dear Madame Zoltar
Hello, my harvest moons! How are you? Have you been enjoying the delightful weather that Mother Nature continues to provide? It has been perfect for brisk runs, languorous walks, and cozy nights. The only thing missing lately has been some rain. Not to criticize, Mater dear, but it has been dry for a few weeks. At this time of year, most of us don’t consider that a big deal because we see plants and growth shutting down for the winter. But if you have evergreen trees or shrubs on your property, you might want to start watering them before the ground freezes. Although many trees and shrubs lose their leaves and go dormant before winter, evergreens’ “leaves” (needles, awls, whorls, etc.) stay green because they are active year round. Water vapor continues to evaporate from them during the winter even though their roots cannot take up water from the frozen ground. It’s usually a good idea to give your evergreens a little more water just before winter sets in so they can soak up as much as possible.And while we’re on the subject of the weather, I received a question from one of the most wonderful Irregulars that I know, Mr. SER. Here it is:
Madame Zoltar,
This year the weather has been interesting to say the least. The weather even messed up the JTI picnic.
My question is, “Do you foresee any snow for the deer hunters this coming Thanksgiving?” It is always nice to have a little snow to track a deer if required.
Additionally, do you see in your crystal ball if the winter in going to be a cold one, I’m talking a lot of zero degrees or in the minus numbers?
......SER
Thank you so much for your submission, Mr. SER. I just love getting messages from my Irregulars and other fans. It is always a pleasure to connect with one another.
Mr. SER, I know you understand that I cannot be held liable for an always accurate prediction of the weather because of the will and whims of Mother Nature. (I swear that at times she has perversely set the weather on a course directly contrary to my predictions simply to shame and embarrass me.) With that in mind, I know that you desire only my “best guess” scenario, provided that all factors stay more or less equal to what they are now and progress normally for the next few months. In that case, and only in that case, I predict no snow cover for Thanksgiving and another winter like the last couple: fairly mild. I don’t know if it’s global warming or just another infinitesimal up-tick in the eons of time, but I believe that the heat is on again this year. Now you be sure to watch, Mr. SER and everyone else, just because I predicted it, the exact opposite will happen. There will be a foot of snow on the ground by Thanksgiving and this winter will one of the coldest on record. Oh my.
I just have to say something about our illustrious Green Bay Packers, but I don’t know what. Last Sunday’s overtime loss to the Miami Dolphins was heartbreaking. Oh dear. This Sunday night we’re up against the detested Minnesota Vikings, led by no other than the despised Brett Favre. Given the emotional overtones of this match up, I may have to take a personal interest in the affair. We shall see.
Thank you for reading my blog this week, my lovely lovey-doves. It is an honor and a pleasure to be a member of such a glorious group. May the crunching leaves of autumn bring smiles to your faces and a warm glow to your hearts.
Rake up your scribblings and dribblings, and bag them off to: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.
Watch out for the first frost of the season to nip your nose. Make sure your car is ready for winter. I don’t mean to cluck like a nagging mother hen, but the time of year approaches when it is prudent to be prepared. I love you all, Irregulars. Zarf and zills!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
How to seal a bag
I thought this was interesting
so I had to pass it along.
How to seal a bag and make it air-tight!
Cut up a disposable water bottle and keep the neck and top, as in photo.
Insert the plastic bag through the neck and screw the top – to seal.
The bag is air-tight, such that water will not leak in.
Rich in 1900 or Middle Class Today?
NPR's excellent podcast Planet Money posed this question last week and I thought it might make an interesting post here (better late than never). The questions is simple: Would you rather live in 1900 and have an income of $70,000 a year (about $700,000 a year in 2010 dollars) or have an income of $70,000 per year in 2010 (and yes, $70,000 per year now is middle class and $700,000 per year now is doing pretty damn good).
The catch is of course that you live in 1910. You can be in the upper fraction of a percent in terms of income, have a mansion, servants, etc, but forget the modern medical care, televisions, computers, etc.
Given that I am in Tucson, I think the lack of AC in most places in 1910 makes the choice obvious here!
The catch is of course that you live in 1910. You can be in the upper fraction of a percent in terms of income, have a mansion, servants, etc, but forget the modern medical care, televisions, computers, etc.
Given that I am in Tucson, I think the lack of AC in most places in 1910 makes the choice obvious here!
Petition for Referendum on RUSD's New Central Office
BUMP: Don't forget to sign a petition against RUSD's planned move to new digs. Petitions need to be returned to Jeff Coe by this Thursday, Oct. 21.
Originally posted Oct. 8:
Loyal Irregular Cyndi forwarded me the following email from Racine Alderman Jeff Coe, who is heading up a petition drive to force a referendum on Racine Unified School District's plans for a new Central Office:
"Date: Friday, October 8, 2010, 4:10 PM
"I am asking for help for our children in the Unified School District. Unified is going ahead with plans to build a new Central Office. This wiil be at the expense of our kids. We have over 80 million dollars worth of repairs and improvements needed in our schools. We may need a new Central Office but Unified needs to look at cheaper alternatives. If Unified is successful this will take almost 500,000 dollars a year away from the Schools. You can help stop this. We need at least 7,500 signatures turned in by Oct. 22 I need them back to me by Oct. 21. Unified needs to listen to the people that pay their salaries the taxpayers. This will force Unified to ask the taxpayers what they think and have a referendum on the funding. If you would like to help print off copies of this petition and get signatures please do. You need to be 18 years or older and live in the Unified School District. Who ever circulates the petition has to sign and date at the bottom.High School Students 18 years old bring petitions to schools or sporting events and get signatures .Parents take them to work with you. By working together we can do this. Lets show Unified they are out of touch.Any questions please feel free to call me at 637-0531 or jeffalancoe@yahoo.com. Remember 18 or older only please. Working together for our kids. Send filled out petitions to me at 1044 Villa st. Racine, Wisconsin 53403"
Cyndi attached a copy of the petition, but I couldn't figure out a way to host it here directly. Instead, I created a free account and uploaded it to http://www.slideshare.net/, then embedded it here (I hope this works):
UPDATE: I'm sorry. I didn't realize that you have to join slideshare in order to download the document. If you want a copy of the petition to print, email me and I will send you one: orbscorbs@jtirregulars.com.
UPDATE UPDATE: Racine Uncovered has a story about this here: http://racineuncovered.org/?p=21041
And they have a very nice pdf file of the petition here: http://racineuncovered.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/RUSD-referendum.pdf
Thank you, Racine Uncovered!
Originally posted Oct. 8:
Loyal Irregular Cyndi forwarded me the following email from Racine Alderman Jeff Coe, who is heading up a petition drive to force a referendum on Racine Unified School District's plans for a new Central Office:
"Date: Friday, October 8, 2010, 4:10 PM
"I am asking for help for our children in the Unified School District. Unified is going ahead with plans to build a new Central Office. This wiil be at the expense of our kids. We have over 80 million dollars worth of repairs and improvements needed in our schools. We may need a new Central Office but Unified needs to look at cheaper alternatives. If Unified is successful this will take almost 500,000 dollars a year away from the Schools. You can help stop this. We need at least 7,500 signatures turned in by Oct. 22 I need them back to me by Oct. 21. Unified needs to listen to the people that pay their salaries the taxpayers. This will force Unified to ask the taxpayers what they think and have a referendum on the funding. If you would like to help print off copies of this petition and get signatures please do. You need to be 18 years or older and live in the Unified School District. Who ever circulates the petition has to sign and date at the bottom.High School Students 18 years old bring petitions to schools or sporting events and get signatures .Parents take them to work with you. By working together we can do this. Lets show Unified they are out of touch.Any questions please feel free to call me at 637-0531 or jeffalancoe@yahoo.com. Remember 18 or older only please. Working together for our kids. Send filled out petitions to me at 1044 Villa st. Racine, Wisconsin 53403"
Cyndi attached a copy of the petition, but I couldn't figure out a way to host it here directly. Instead, I created a free account and uploaded it to http://www.slideshare.net/, then embedded it here (I hope this works):
UPDATE: I'm sorry. I didn't realize that you have to join slideshare in order to download the document. If you want a copy of the petition to print, email me and I will send you one: orbscorbs@jtirregulars.com.
UPDATE UPDATE: Racine Uncovered has a story about this here: http://racineuncovered.org/?p=21041
And they have a very nice pdf file of the petition here: http://racineuncovered.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/RUSD-referendum.pdf
Thank you, Racine Uncovered!
Monday, October 18, 2010
"Men's and women's brains"
The performer is Mark Gungor, who conducts marriage seminars and calls his website "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage": http://www.laughyourway.com/.
I found this video to be funny, and true.
You can search for Mark Gungor on http://www.youtube.com/. There's a lot of his videos out there.
'How to prevent Alzheimer's.
Photo taken at the Senior Center in Boca Raton Fl. The course was 'How to prevent Alzheimer's.
The project of the day was 'Keep your mind working. Try to create something from memory.'
The project of the day was 'Keep your mind working. Try to create something from memory.'
Sunday, October 17, 2010
"BUCK Tooth BABY! . . . . Funny! Secret In-Store Review by Mike Mozart of TheToyChannel "
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheToyChannel
I think these are great. Why didn't someone think of these before? Next time I give a baby gift, I know what I'm giving.