3 Minute Management Course

Lesson One:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw
the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below
the eagle and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Two:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the
top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "
They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough
strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating
some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of
the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Management Lesson:

Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson Three:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the
frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm
he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He laid there all warm and
happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the
sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly
dug him out and ate him.

Management Lesson:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who! gets you out of shit is your friend..

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!


This ends the three minute management course.