The "reverend" has not disappointed me. So far, I've received a dollar bill, presumably to prime the donation pump. I received his book, God's Miracle Plan for Man, along with some "anointing oil" and a "prayer cloth." God, perhaps, knows what's in the oil packet - I'm not opening it. The prayer cloth is a small strip of coarse fabric. Two days ago, I received a blue "cord" (yarn) that I'm supposed to pin to myself or wear around my wrist for a day, then put it in my pillowcase and sleep on it overnight. That guarantees a miracle will happen.
All of these items are accompanied by outrageous letters which continually ask for a "vow of faith," a donation pledge that Pastor Bob says will be repaid to you a thousandfold by God. But first, you gotta give him the money.
Yesterday, I received the announcement below in an email. I don't know why Pastor Bob only gave me two days notice of this major event, but I know I must attend. I have no means to do so, however, and thus I am forced to rely upon the charity of my fellow Irregulars to spring for a round trip airline ticket (first class, please), lodging in LA (it would be nice to stay at the Marriott where Pastor Bob is appearing), meals, taxi fare, incidentals, etc. Please contact me as soon as possible after arrangements have been made. God and/or Pastor Bob will return your gift a thousandfold. But first, you gotta give me the money.
JUNE 4, 2011
Saturday Afternoon at 4:00 pm
The Lord Jesus spoke to me "to go back to Los Angeles. He wants
to release more Prophet's blessings into your life. Also tell the
people that are sick to come and He will be healing them".
We are coming to see you again and Release
the Prophet's Blessings into Your Life...
Healings, Miracles, Financial Breakthroughs
Blessings, Blessings, Blessings,
I also have a very special Prophetic Message
to Release Heaven's Best into Your Life.
Don't miss this Great Church Service
TAKE A BUS, PLANE, CAR OR TRAIN... BE THERE!
Marriott Hotel Downtown L.A.
333 South Figueroa St., Los Angeles, CA 90071
*Public Parking Garage Next Door (South) • * Discounted Parking at Marriott
Come and see Signs, Wonders and Miracles through the power that is in the name of Jesus Christ
Saturday Afternoon at 4:00 pm
The Lord Jesus spoke to me "to go back to Los Angeles. He wants
to release more Prophet's blessings into your life. Also tell the
people that are sick to come and He will be healing them".
We are coming to see you again and Release
the Prophet's Blessings into Your Life...
Healings, Miracles, Financial Breakthroughs
Blessings, Blessings, Blessings,
I also have a very special Prophetic Message
to Release Heaven's Best into Your Life.
Don't miss this Great Church Service
TAKE A BUS, PLANE, CAR OR TRAIN... BE THERE!
Marriott Hotel Downtown L.A.
333 South Figueroa St., Los Angeles, CA 90071
*Public Parking Garage Next Door (South) • * Discounted Parking at Marriott
Come and see Signs, Wonders and Miracles through the power that is in the name of Jesus Christ
Posts
8 comments:
I'm sorry Orbs but Jesus talked to me yesterday and told me to go shopping. No money left.
I am so jealous, orbs. I WANT that blue cord to wear around my wrist and put in my pillowcase to "guarantee a miracle will happen"
Can I come to LA with you? I feel the calling, I feel the NEED! ;>
I think I made Virgin Mary toast once by accident.
If you believe, a way to get there will appear.
"TAKE A BUS, PLANE, CAR OR TRAIN... BE THERE!"
I'm working on teleporting...
Hey Orbs, my new car is running great, and I have too much in the bank. If we leave right now and drive like mad men, we can make it. If we get stopped, we'll just show them the letter and tell em we're making a miracle happen.
hahaha Huck!
Gee, Huck, I didn't see your comment until now, after 5 PM. Do you think we can make it in less than 24 hours? Wait, it's two hours earlier there, so we have 25 hours left. If we average 100 mph, we might make it. Don't worry about the police - Pastor Bob will keep them off our backs.
What???? You didn't call on Madame Zoltar to assist you? Boy, is she going to be out of sorts over this!!!! Tsk, tsk, tsk. The answer to your prayer right in front of you and you did not use your free will to take advantage of the avenue available.
Omg, Beejay, i never thought of Mme. Z.
Well, I missed it. :-(
Maybe he'll make an appearance in Milwaukee someday.
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