I was the caretaker for my mother for the past several years. She had dementia. We didn't know it at first, we just figured she was getting old and forgetful. We had many conversations like the one in the video. This was her favorite one every day, it started while eating lunch. "What are you going to do about supper?" She would ask me that between lunch and supper anywhere from 10 to 20 times. At first I got annoyed just like the guy in the video. That was before we knew she had dementia. After we knew it made it a little easier to deal with. I had seen that video a couple of years ago and whenever mom pestered me the same questions over and over I would think of that video and remind myself that she can't help it. It's a bitch of a disease.
The last round of hospitalizations and rehab really took a toll on my mom. She is greatly diminished and we've all commented on how she is "not all there" sometimes now. She is hard of hearing and has difficulty paying attention. You have to repeat and repeat a question. Each time, I do it louder and with more enunciation in the hope that she will understand it. Then she asks, why are you yelling at me?
My Mom in Law too...and it is hard. Mine is argumentative about things. Dealing with dementia is difficult to say the least. I've been accused of everything under the sun lately.
My mom has the argumentative thing going, too. She told me the other day that I was mad at her. I said I wasn't. She inisted that I was and tried to start an argument with me. I quickly shifted gears and told her that I didn't realize that I was angry. I apologized for "being angry" and we proceeded nicely from there.
She watches those damn Judge Judy shows all afternoon where people are just arguing and arguing with each other. She's watched them for years. I have to mute the TV sound when I visit her - too many memories from childhood. I think those shows keep the angry alive in her.
My mom would drift in and out, depending on how ill she currently was, or how "off" her electrolytes were. It was sad when she'd be middle way through some off moment, and then snap back in and realize that she was being foolish. I felt so bad for her, but it broke my heart to witness it.
I hope to slip on a banana peel and go out quickly. I hope to have a white russian in one hand and a belly full of lobster and steak.
I believe that it is highly unlikely that I will live to a ripe old age. That's OK with me. There is no way I could tolerate what mom has gone through. I would refuse to do it.
That was beautiful Orbs.
ReplyDeleteDang it orbs, you almost cracked this hard nut. I was expecting something funny...
ReplyDeleteThat IS beautiful, Orbs.
ReplyDeleteMy attention span does not last 5 minutes 31 seconds.
ReplyDeleteI was the caretaker for my mother for the past several years. She had dementia. We didn't know it at first, we just figured she was getting old and forgetful. We had many conversations like the one in the video. This was her favorite one every day, it started while eating lunch. "What are you going to do about supper?" She would ask me that between lunch and supper anywhere from 10 to 20 times. At first I got annoyed just like the guy in the video. That was before we knew she had dementia. After we knew it made it a little easier to deal with. I had seen that video a couple of years ago and whenever mom pestered me the same questions over and over I would think of that video and remind myself that she can't help it. It's a bitch of a disease.
ReplyDeleteThe last round of hospitalizations and rehab really took a toll on my mom. She is greatly diminished and we've all commented on how she is "not all there" sometimes now. She is hard of hearing and has difficulty paying attention. You have to repeat and repeat a question. Each time, I do it louder and with more enunciation in the hope that she will understand it. Then she asks, why are you yelling at me?
ReplyDeleteMy Mom in Law too...and it is hard. Mine is argumentative about things. Dealing with dementia is difficult to say the least. I've been accused of everything under the sun lately.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the reminder, Orbs.
My mom has the argumentative thing going, too. She told me the other day that I was mad at her. I said I wasn't. She inisted that I was and tried to start an argument with me. I quickly shifted gears and told her that I didn't realize that I was angry. I apologized for "being angry" and we proceeded nicely from there.
ReplyDeleteShe watches those damn Judge Judy shows all afternoon where people are just arguing and arguing with each other. She's watched them for years. I have to mute the TV sound when I visit her - too many memories from childhood. I think those shows keep the angry alive in her.
My mom would drift in and out, depending on how ill she currently was, or how "off" her electrolytes were. It was sad when she'd be middle way through some off moment, and then snap back in and realize that she was being foolish. I felt so bad for her, but it broke my heart to witness it.
ReplyDeleteI hope to slip on a banana peel and go out quickly. I hope to have a white russian in one hand and a belly full of lobster and steak.
DodgeBoy, a belated thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI believe that it is highly unlikely that I will live to a ripe old age. That's OK with me. There is no way I could tolerate what mom has gone through. I would refuse to do it.