Saturday, October 1, 2011

Win a Date with OrbsCorbs

I've been trying to think of ways to make some extra money. "I'm so poor that I can't pay attention." One of the ideas I had was to hold a raffle for a date with the inimitable and irascible OrbsCorbs. Make it $5 a ticket. I figure at least 200 women (hopefully, they'll all be women) will jump at the chance for a night out with Orbs. That's $1,000 right there. What does dinner and a movie for two cost? It's been a long time for me, but I think it can be done for $100 or less. That's $900 profit right there.

Of course, if more women buy tickets, that's more profit. And there's nothing to stop anyone from buying multiple tickets in an effort to increase their chances. In fact, I can guarantee that any lady who spends $200 or more on tickets will get a date with me. (What the hell. A meal, a movie, and a hundred bucks. I'll take that anytime.)

So what do you think? Am I on the road to riches, or the highway to hell?

"29 years old and hearing myself for the 1st time!"



From YouTube: "I was born deaf and 8 weeks ago I received a hearing implant. This is the video of them turning it on and me hearing myself for the first time :) Edit: For those of you who have asked the implant I received was Esteem offered by Envoy Medical."


It's something to see the flood of emotions overtake her.

(Huck, I hope that you don't feel excluded by this.)

Funny Picture

Dog Park


Just like most any women's public restroom....

Friday, September 30, 2011

Christmas in September


I just got back from the K-Mart on the north side of Racine. They have their Christmas decorations up. I spoke briefly with the man putting up the displays. He said he started assembling trees last week.

I believe this is the earliest I have ever seen a store start pushing Christmas. Why don't they just leave the decorations up all the time and pimp Christmas 365 days a year?

Are You Going to Party on the Pavement?

Tomorrow is the big event in Downtown Racine: Party on the Pavement.
Are you going?


I don't plan on attending. I've gone in years past, but not in recent years. I don't like crowds and it gets more crowded every year. That's good for the event, but not for me. I also bump into people I don't particularly want to see.

I hope for good weather for Party on the Pavement and I hope that all those who attend have a great time.

Four for Fridays

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Four for Fridays after a seemingly a quick week. Can't believe the end of September is here...Anyways here are some random questions...

1) How often do you keep updated in the news?

2) What's the one bad habit you would like to break?

3) What is the one subject you are the most passionate about?

4) Had you ever had a fish tank?

Enjoy your weekend!

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my magnificent mums! How are you? Well this certainly appears to be one of the dreariest weeks we’ve had in a long time. Occasional spots of sunlight appear here and there, but mostly it is rain, rain, and, then, rain. Believe it or not, I still have some rather large green tomatoes on my plants just waiting for a few days of sunshine to ripen them up. What are the chances? Even a professional prognosticator like me won’t lay odds against Mother Nature. I’ll probably end up putting the tomatoes in paper bags on the closet floor in an effort to coax them to ripeness. Mother Nature can be a real “mother” sometimes.

Who is the mother of all teams in the NFL? The Green Bay Packers, of course! Our glorious gladiators slaughtered the Chicago Bears last Sunday. Next, the powerful Packers meet the Denver Broncos this coming Sunday, October 2, at 3:15 PM, in Lambeau Field. Ride those broncos till they drop, boys! I predict another Green Bay win, another step towards repeating our Super Bowl performance of last year. Hey, hey, Pack, break their backs! Oh my.

This weekend is also when the mother of all Racine festivals occurs: Party on the Pavement! Huzzah! Huzzah! Yahoo! Yahoo! It is this Saturday, October 1, noon to 7 PM, in Downtown Racine. I saw a large ad for POP in the weekend’s print version of the Journal Times, but nothing online yet. Here is DRC’s webpage on it: http://www.racinedowntown.com/party.html [Edited - I found this later: http://www.partyonthepavement.com/] As you will notice on the maps for the event when you see them, neither I nor Senor Zanza have booths in the event. [Edited - http://www.partyonthepavement.com/POP_2011_Map.jpg] Why? The usual prejudice against me and “my kind,” I suppose, or perhaps it is our association with the JT Irregulars. In any case, I hope that Party on the Pavement is a grand success this year. Remember the Ferris wheel accident last year? Oh my! We are so lucky to have the firefighters and emergency personnel that we do in Racine. Bless you all. I hope that Mother Nature cooperates and gives us a beautiful day to celebrate in Downtown Racine. As Mr. OrbsCorbs would say, “Party on!”

Below, my dears, is an example of what power the mind can hold over physical objects:



That was just three, young, untrained minds urging on a paper airplane. What would happen if, say, thousands of terrorists were trained to concentrate their minds on bringing down a commercial airliner? Oh dear! Has Homeland Security considered that scenario, or am I the only one protecting us from the mind control efforts of our enemies? Perhaps I should sell tinfoil hats at Party on the Pavement.

[Confidential to “Worn Out in Racine:” That’s what you get for robbing the cradle. Humph! I hope it turns black and blue.]

Thank you my dear, dear Irregulars and my dear, dear regulars. And thank you my dear, dear visitors, too. I love all of you. It is a joy to share my blog with you, and an honor. I hope that enjoy yourselves here and I hope that you will return next week.

Want to know where your “get up and go” got up and went to? Ask me: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Don’t forget your umbrellas, my dears. And your raincoats and galoshes. And, yes, that means the guys, too. Warm up over a bowl of soup or a cup of coffee or whatever gets your boiler stoked. This is good weather for sweaters. Obstrobogulous!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

My First Aurora Pics

Living in Arizona, I don't get to see the Aurora. It takes an exceptional solar storm to see the Northern Lights that far south.

Right now, I am at the Schoodic Education and Research Center at Acadia National Park in Maine. Northern Lights are more common up here. A reasonably strong solar storm hit yesterday and it was a wonderfully clear night. Right before I left on this trip, I got a new Sigma 10mm fisheye lens for my camera. That is a nice fast, wide angle lens that is perfect for capturing Aurora. So here is a sampling of the shots I got last night.


Looking forward to seeing what tonight might hold.

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Oktoberfest and a Fun House



From YouTube: "This guy goes to Oktoberfest, parties, then hits up the funhouse. The next day, when people ask him why he looks so bad, this guy can tell them he spent the whole night tossing and turning."


Heck, back in the day, I would stagger home down the street like that after a night at the bar.

"Cheesehead maker has issue with billboard"

From the JSOnline.com:

"Firm threatens lawsuit over use of its hat on anti-cheese sign"

"By Meg Jones of the Journal Sentinel
Sept. 26, 2011 10:19 p.m. |

"It's one thing to bash cheese here in America's Dairyland, but quite another to use a beloved Cheesehead hat to cast aspersions on the food that's as much a part of Wisconsin as beer and bratwurst.

"A cheese war of sorts has broken out over a billboard scheduled to go up this week near Lambeau Field. The billboard features a Cheesehead-clad, scythe-carrying Grim Reaper cautioning about the health hazards of eating cheese.

"When the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine paid thousands of dollars to install the billboard on Highway 41 in De Pere, which many Packers fans will see on their way to Sunday's game, word got back to the St. Francis company that makes the famous cheddar apparel.

"The Cheesehead hat makers were steamed."


How dare they attack cheeseheads in our home state? Now I have to find a cheesehead hat for my avatar. Grrr! You could just as well put a physician's lab coat on that Grim Reaper for all of the "mistakes" that doctors have buried.

Making a baby

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...' 'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?' 'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat !.

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me.. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.' 'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with..'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith. 'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look' 'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away..'

'Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'

Mrs. Smith fainted

Washington Park Pool

Built as a WPA project in 1939, the Washington Park recreation center and swimming pool was a favorite summer activity for close to 30 years. The pool cost $150,000 to construct and was considered "state of the art." The only one of its kind in Wisconsin, it was built with the idea of providing a seashore atmosphere in the heart of the City. The pool was closed in 1968 and later removed. The recreation building was complete with a gym and showers. The pool's changing rooms were located in two open air areas with benches and changing stalls. The boys were located on the east side of the building and the girls on the west side. Street clothes were placed in a basket and each patron would get a rubberized ankle band with a medal tag with the basket number on it. There was also a concession window which sold goodies for the long walk home.

Back in the mid '50's I lived on Carroll St. A group of friends, we would go there every day. It cost 10 cent to get in. I would get a quarter from my mother, 10 cent to get in and when we left we would stop at the A&W Root Beer stand on 12th Street and spend the last 15 cent on a large ice cold root beer.

One day a week was a free day, we had a name for it, but I won’t say what we called it.

Around the “Island” the water was 10 ft deep. There was a fence around it and at the fence it was about 4 ft and tapered up to about 6 in deep. I was pretty disappointed when they closed it.




Nirvana - "Smells Like Teen Spirit"

In 1991, Nirvana released their second album, Nevermind. Tomorrow, on the 20th anniversary of its original release, the album is being re-released in a remastered version. You can read more here: http://www.jsonline.com/entertainment/musicandnightlife/130599683.html

Below is "Smells Like Teen Spirit" from that 1991 album.


 

Sunday, September 25, 2011

colonoscopies

A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by some of his male patients while he was performing their colonoscopies:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!"

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

7. "You put your left hand in; you take your left hand out..."

8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"

10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

... and the best one of them all :

12. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there."

"Carlsberg stunts with bikers in cinema"



It really depends upon what I paid to see, but I don't think I would have stayed.

(You don't need the audio for this one, Huck.)