Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my harmonious honeydews!  How are you?  The warm weather continues.  It seems like everything is in bloom.  Trees, shrubs, flowers: all blooming, all over the place.  Everywhere you look in the landscape, something is putting on a show.  So pretty, and, yet, there is still that lingering fear that the environment is screwed up big time.  That old margarine commercial said, “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature.” I say, it’s not nice to fool with Mother Nature.  She can be a b**ch.

   

A perusal of the news brought up this tidbit from the JSOnline: “DNR cracks down on sex at nude beach,” http://www.jsonline.com/news/wisconsin/dnr-cracks-down-on-sex-at-nude-beach-g851ptp-147791535.html  Oh my.  I didn’t know there is a nude beach near Madison.  I will have to investigate this further, for journalistic purposes.  Perhaps Señor Zanza will join me, for journalistic purposes.  Junior will have to stay home, for voyeuristic purposes. 

Closer to home, I saw this in The Journal Times.com: “Hot dog stand owner takes over boat launch concession,” http://www.journaltimes.com/news/local/hot-dog-stand-owner-takes-over-boat-launch-concession/article_23cfbdf0-83ca-11e1-95a6-0019bb2963f4.html Mr. Caleb Robinson, the owner of Top Dog Hot Dogs in downtown Racine, is going to run the city’s boat launch concession stand.  I predict success and a fantastic future for Mr. Robinson.  He is an outstanding young man.  He also serves up some very tasty food.  I am forever grateful to Mr. OrbsCorbs for telling me about Top Dog and their delicious Chicago-style hotdogs.  Oh dear, I get hungry just thinking about them. 

Speaking of Mr. OrbsCorbs, he submitted an email this week:

Dear Madame Zoltar,

Did you know that there are “professional” cat and dog whisperers out there?  Some claim they can communicate with any animal.  They charge up to $50, and more, for a “reading” done over the telephone.  I can’t afford that.  How the heck can they read your pet’s mind over the telephone?

Anyway, I was wondering if you aren’t also an animal whisperer, Madame Zoltar, in addition to your vast array of other powers.  And if you are, would you be willing to tell me what Charlie, my cat, thinks of me?

Thank you very much,

OrbsCorbs

Dear Mr. OrbsCorbs, thank you so much for submitting a question. 

Nobody can give a proper reading of anyone or anything over the telephone.  However, I am what you call an “animal whisperer.”  That is, I can communicate with animals.  Many pets are more pleasant to talk to than their owners.  Unlike some of my other psychic powers, which I consider gifts from a Higher Power, I believe that anyone can learn animal communication with enough time and practice. 

In any case, I’ve had the good fortune to have met Charlie and I know what he thinks.  As for you, Mr. OrbsCorbs, he thinks you’re crazy.  Do not be too discouraged by that.  Most cats think humans are crazy.  The important thing is that Charlie loves you (he told me so) and you love him.  The rest are details.

That same love is the love I have for my readers.  Thank you, dears, for reading my blog today.  I hope you enjoyed it.  Stop by next week, please.

If you need to contact me before next week, I am always available here: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy the mild weather.  Get out and about.  Or stay at home and nod in the sun.  Be grateful for what we have.  Every day is a gift.  Every Irregular is a miracle. Decarchy!