Saturday, August 4, 2012

MEDICAL ADVICE!!

Excellent medical advice

1. F***ing once a week is good for your health, but its harmful if done every day.

2. F***ing relaxes your mind & body.

3. F***ing refreshes you.

4. After F***ing don’t eat too much; go for more liquids.

5. Try f***ing in bed cause it can save you valuable energy.

6. F***ing can even reduce your cholesterol levels.

SO, REMEMBER ... FASTING

is good for health and, ... may the good Lord cleanse you dirty mind....

Open Blog - Weekend

Chill.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Little Baby's Ice Cream

http://www.littlebabysicecream.com/

Those are the weirdest ice cream commercials I have ever seen.

Four for Fridays

Hello everyone! Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends! It's been a positive and productive week so far and I'm thanking it's Friday. Anyways, here are some questions for you...

1) Have you been watching the Olympics? If so, what event?

2) What profession do you think gets overpaid?

3) What profession do you think gets underpaid?

4) What has been the highlight of your summer so far?

Enjoy your weekend!

Open Blog - Friday

So I pooped my pants!

Thursday, August 2, 2012

You can't make this stuff up

"Ancient dopers got their kicks from raw testicles"

"(Reuters) - Forget anabolic steroids in easy-to-swallow tablets, or EPO in clean syringes. Ancient Olympic dopers got their pre-Games hormone boost from chewing on raw animal testicles."

Read more: http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/08/01/us-oly-doping-history-day-idUSBRE8700YC20120801

I learn something new from the internet every day.

Useless Information

Did you know:

In Guatemala you have to have a 3rd grade education to get a job.

I gotta get one of those printers

Oh, and a great story too...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoZ2BgPVtA0

Open Blog - Thursday

Happy Thursday!

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Chinese Hurdler Wins "Screw It" Medal

That's my kind of sports entertainment.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my hot dogs and cool cats! How are you? Happy August! The heat continues, the drought remains. We bravely march on into the future, soldiers for the JTI. Oh my, where did that come from? A premonition, perhaps, of bleak days ahead? Dear, dear, dear.

I welcomed reading Ms. lizardmom’s blog about a get together, http://www.jtirregulars.com/2012/07/i-miss-you-guys.html. Oh joy, oh joy! Señor Zanza and I will be there. Junior, I’m sure, would rather play video games at a friend’s house. I can hardly wait to see my dear irregular family again. We have so much to catch up on. I hope the festivities end the usual way, with Ms. kk and I locked in a one-on-one drinking match. Señor Zanza, who has to get me home, hopes otherwise.

Have you noticed the recent hike in the cost of almost everything? My neighbor’s bank suddenly more than tripled the cost of a checking account. I told him, “You don’t expect the bankers who made all those bad investments to make up the money they lost, do you? We are going to pay for it. We always do.” It’s getting to the point that it is cutting into the staples. I will have to raise my rates in response, so that I can feed myself. And the circle of inflation never ends.

Have you heard the sweet sound of the ice cream truck as it lures children out for treats? You have? Then you haven’t heard the ones around here. If I hear “Turkey in the Straw” a few thousand more times, I may do something drastic. I don’t want to deprive the children of their treats, but an occasional change of tune might be in order. There are many children’s songs that they could play. Or maybe there is some subliminal message in “Turkey in the Straw” that makes you want ice cream. I don’t know, but what is the point of circling my block half a dozen times? Do that again and I’ll stuff your turkey where the moon doesn’t shine.

I was deeply saddened to read about the demise of the Monument Square Art Fair, http://www.journaltimes.com/news/local/monument-square-art-fair-closes-at-half-century-mark/article_a66ca43c-db02-11e1-ab7c-001a4bcf887a.html. I remember when it was still held on Monument Square. Back then, there were two reflecting pools instead of the open area there is now. Artists had to set up on the sidewalk or in the small area near the monument. They quickly outgrew that place. I am so sorry to see the fair go.

Last year, Señor Zanza and I visited the Starving Artists Fair. Attendance was obviously down. Usually, you can barely get through the crowd. There was plenty off room last year. That’s coming up this Sunday, August 5, http://racineartguild.com/saf.html. I hope they do better than the Monument Square Art Fair. The Señor and I will be somewhere on the grounds. The Starving Artists Fair is one of my favorite ones. They sell delicious bratwurst.

Thank you for stopping by to read my blog. I do so appreciate it. My readers are my friends, my readers are my family. You nourish me with your attention. Thank you very much.

Normal variations or climate change? Find out: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

You know, it’s not only the plants that need water, my dears. Don’t forget to keep yourselves hydrated on these hot, sunny days. Pulling all of the shelves and food out of the refrigerator, climbing in, and shutting the door behind you is not a good idea. It never was and it never will be. Furor scribendi!

Open Blog - Wednesday

Have a very good day.

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

My New Roller Skates

I love my new skates

I MISS YOU GUYS!!!!!!

OK boys and girls, let's get together!!!
Lets agree on a date, the place is where we went last time.
I know it's been far too long. I miss you all.
I'm looking at a Sunday in August, the most popular date
amongst wins.
Please post which Sunday's work for you,
and by the weekend we will have a date for sure!!
thanks !!

Open Blog - Tuesday

Every day is hot around here.

Monday, July 30, 2012

"Chinese traditional qi gong treatment for prostate problems"

Oh my God.

Another Health Announcement

DON'T WASH YOUR HAIR IN THE SHOWER!!

It's so good to finally get a health warning that is useful!!!

IT INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO THAT RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT. WARNING TO US ALL!!!

I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner! I use shampoo in the shower! When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and Printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning: "FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME." No wonder I have been gaining weight!

Well! I have gotten rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering with Dawn dish soap instead. Its label reads: "DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE"

PROBLEM SOLVED!!