Old Prospector

An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio, Texas leading a tired old mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat.

He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.

As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, can you dance?"

The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No son, I don't dance... never really wanted to"

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now!" and started shooting at the old man's feet.

The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody standing around was laughing.

When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled 12 gauge shotgun and cocked both hammers.

The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air. The crowd stopped laughing immediately.

The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was deafening.

The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin 12 gauge barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said; "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir ... but ... I've always wanted to"

Crepuscular Rays at Sunset

I have been really negligent blogging. A very busy summer and lousy weather in Tucson for photography haven't helped. However, I am hoping to get back to a regular schedule here.

Last night wasn't a great night for photography, but the clouds produced some very nice crepuscular rays at sunset. You have probably seen crepuscular rays before: they stream through the clouds and appear to radiate from the Sun (I always think of the scenes with God in The Holy Grail when I see them). They are usually seen near sunrise or sunset when the contrast in the sky is higher, but they can be seen at any time of day under the right conditions. Here is a shot of the crepuscular rays last night.

I used a polarizing filter to increase the contrast a little bit, but they were very visible to the naked eye (in fact, they polarizing filter made the pic better match what I saw). Here is another shot.

The rays were very long so I turned my camera kind of diagonal to try and capture the length of the rays (this reminds me of the constant off-kilter filming they used in the 1960's Batman TV series).

So don't think you won't get a nice sunset just because there are a few clouds hanging around!

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

Open Blog - Weekend

Enjoy your weekend, everyone.

Guard Dog

Got A New Dog I got a new dog to guard my house. It was a little more than I thought I should pay, but I think when word gets out, we'll be a relatively crime-free neighborhood. The nice part is he is a year old and already fully trained. For your safety, you might want to call the house from the driveway -- and in the safety of your car!

Four for Fridays

Hello everyone! Again, we're back to another episode of Four for Fridays! It's been a long and rather unexciting week for me. Good to have the weekend here. Anyways, some questions for you...

1) Do you know how to use the metric system?

2) Have you ever slept the entire day away?

3) What kind of jewelry do you wear?

4) How many keys on your key ring?

Enjoy your weekend!

Open Blog - Friday

Thank you, Flipper.

Yum!

We'll have to get these for the next get together.

"ADAM BUXTON - COUNTING SONG"

And now for something completely different:

I’m so Depressed....Laugh’in

That’s it for me for the month; JT has cut me off.

Guess I’ll have to go to the bar and finish reading about the hinie hole Keith Fair.

Open Blog - Thursday

Have a glowing day.

Home

The wedding was full of extremely talented people, many who sing beautifully and the bride and groom were no exception.. They had decided to perform at their own wedding reception and this is their song..

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my midsummer night’s dreams!  How are you?  The drought has made me near delirious.  I’ve envisioned a marvelous machine for Racine: a huge water sprinkler atop the Courthouse.  It could be set to water only portions of the city at a time, or all of it in each sweep.  That should take care of any excess capacity at the Water Dept., plus provide the city with much needed precipitation.  Once again, my dear Racinians, I offer you my idea for free.  Take it, run with it, and become known as Sprinkler City, or continue the current decay.  The sprinkler could be lit at night for effects.  Sell the naming rights to offset costs.  Maybe put it atop Monument Square rather than the Courthouse.  Go, sprinkler!

If that doesn’t work, there is this:

Finally, we could build an ark and gather animal pairs.  That started some rain the last time around.

I feel it necessary to comment on the Racine Common Council’s recent decision to color the roof of Festival Hall copper.  My comment is, “No.”  Sell the naming rights to Festival Hall and/or sell advertising space on the hall’s roof.  There, problem solved and some revenue generated.  Perhaps I should run for mayor.  It’s not that hard when you aren’t playing favorites.  “Madame Zoltar: Bringing You Tomorrow’s Bureaucracy Today” “Madame Zoltar’s Ten Year Plan: I Already Know What Happens”  “Madame Zoltar: I Won’t Sue You” 

Thank you so much, my dears, for reading my blog today.  It’s our weekly chance to touch base.  I enjoy giving some small measure of delight to my audience.  You are my raison d'être.

Want to know a secret? madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Enjoy the warm days of summer, my butterflies.  You know the routine: stay hydrated, wear sun block, wear a hat.  The days grow imperceptibly shorter.  Enjoy, enjoy.  Kalokagathia!

Open Blog - Wednesday

I, too, woo-hoo!

I Wont Give Up

I absolutely had to share this. This is from my SILs wedding and one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced. It started off as a solo sung by one of their friends who has an incredible voice and a surprise to us all the groomsmen joined in by the end. I could not help but cry during it as you can see me in the background drying my tears. The groom could not keep his eyes dry.. simply beautiful, when you watch, which I really think you all should turn up the volume so you can get the full experience.. keep watching and you get a glimpse of Maia as one of the flower girls doing what Maia does..

Open Blog - Tuesday

Who'd a thunk it?

Some questions to keep the "gray cells" active !!!!

1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name?

2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?

3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?

4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?

5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?

6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?

7. In California , you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?

8. What was the President's Name in 1975?

9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?

10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?

11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?


Click here for answers

Rachel's $1,000 offer is too good to be true

If a customer service representative named Rachel emails you and says you've won a $1,000 Visa gift card, don't believe her. It's a scam, state officials say.

Earlier this year, some Wisconsin residents received robo calls from someone claiming to be Rachel from "credit card services" who directed people to a website in an email phishing scam, according to an email alert Monday from officials with the Wisconsin Department of Agriculture, Trade and Consumer Protection.

Now the scam has changed to emails from "Rachel, Customer Service, Employee Benefits Center, LLC" informing people nationwide that they have been issued a free $1,000 Visa gift card on behalf of a local business, charity or government agency.

"Be aware that it is a scam and take no action with the email," the alert says. "The emails appear official and ask recipients to visit a website to claim the card. If a recipient falls for the bait and visits the website, he/she will be asked for a number of personal details. It is also possible that the website may attempt to load malicious software (known as "malware") onto the victim's computer."

Typically, the scam emails will include the same content, the alert says.

The subject line of the email will typically read: (Your name), a thank you from (local company name).

The body of the email will include the recipient's first and last name and an "Issuing branch" in the city or state where the recipient lives, a "Valid until" date for the card (often listed as "08/2015"), a website where the recipient can "claim the card and have it shipped to the address of your choosing," a 48-hour deadline to make victims react more quickly to the "offer" and a signature from "Rachel, Customer Service, Employee Benefits Center, LLC."

"If you receive this email, do not visit the listed website, open any links or attachments, respond to the sender or take any other action with the solicitation," the alert says. "Update your anti-virus software to ensure that your computer can recognize any recent malware attacks."

For more information or to file a consumer complaint, visit datcp.wi.gov, send an email to datcphotline@wisconsin.gov or call the hotline toll-free at (800) 422-7128.

In general, officials advise consumers not to respond to any prompts during automated spam calls - even if the caller offers to unsubscribe the recipient from further calls by pressing a button. Usually, doing so will only increase the number of calls because it confirms to the caller that there is a live person at the other end of the line. This allows the caller to sell the number to other spammers as a working number.

Source:  JSOnline

Open Blog - Monday

Go, Curiosity, go!

Mars Rover Poised to Land at 12:31 A.M. (CDT)

After 8-1/2 months of traveling in space, Curiosity, a nuclear powered rover, is expected to land on Mars early tomorrow morning.  The landing is what NASA calls the hardest robotic landing attempted in the history of space exploration. Live coverage of the event is offered on NASA TV, http://www.nasa.gov/multimedia/nasatv/index.html 

"5 Questions (and Answers) About Tonight's Mars Rover Landing," http://www.pcworld.com/article/260420/5_questions_and_answers_about_tonights_mars_rover_landing.html

Good luck, Curiosity!

If I were the Devil

Past or present.. its still the same....

Do you remember the famous ABC radio news commentator Paul Harvey?
Millions of Americans listened to his programs which were broadcast over 1,200 radio stations nationwide.
When you listen to it, remember the commentary was broadcast 47 years ago.... April 3, 1965. It's short... less than 3 minutes.