Saturday, September 8, 2012
"Henri 2, Paw de Deux"
This video recently won the "Best Cat Video On The Internet" award at the first ever Cat Video Film Festival.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/01/movies/at-cat-video-film-festival-stars-purr-for-close-ups.htm
Friday, September 7, 2012
An elderly couple
An elderly couple were sitting at the breakfast table one fine morning, when the old woman says to her husband, "Just think, honey, we've been happily married now for 50 years."
"Yes," he replied. "Fifty years ago we were probably sitting here at this breakfast table together. But back then we were probably buck naked!"
The granny snickered, "Well... what do you think? Should we?"
The husband readily agreed, and in a flash both the prune-like coffin-dodgers had stripped to the buff and sat back down at the table.
"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly said. "My nipples are as hot for you as they were 50 years ago!"
"I'm not surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the others in your oatmeal!"
"Yes," he replied. "Fifty years ago we were probably sitting here at this breakfast table together. But back then we were probably buck naked!"
The granny snickered, "Well... what do you think? Should we?"
The husband readily agreed, and in a flash both the prune-like coffin-dodgers had stripped to the buff and sat back down at the table.
"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly said. "My nipples are as hot for you as they were 50 years ago!"
"I'm not surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the others in your oatmeal!"
Heavier
"We all get heavier as we get older because, there's a lot more information in our heads."
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
HOW THE JEWS GOT THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
God went to the Arabs and said, "I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better."
And the Arabs asked, "What are Commandments?"
And the Lord said, "They are rules for living."
"Can you give us an example?"
"Thou shalt not kill."
"Not kill? We're not interested."
So he went to the Blacks and said, "I have Commandments."
And the Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said,
"Honor thy Father and Mother”,
Father? We don't know who our fathers are."
So He went to the Mexicans and said, "I have Commandments."
And the Mexicans wanted an example,
and the Lord said, "Thou shalt not steal."
"Not steal? We're not interested."
He went to the French and said, "I have Commandments."
The French wanted an example and the Lord said,
"Thou shalt not commit adultery."
"Not commit adultery? We're not interested.
He went to the Jews and said, "I have Commandments."
"Commandments?" They said, "How much are they?"
"They're free."
"We'll take 10."
And the Arabs asked, "What are Commandments?"
And the Lord said, "They are rules for living."
"Can you give us an example?"
"Thou shalt not kill."
"Not kill? We're not interested."
So he went to the Blacks and said, "I have Commandments."
And the Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said,
"Honor thy Father and Mother”,
Father? We don't know who our fathers are."
So He went to the Mexicans and said, "I have Commandments."
And the Mexicans wanted an example,
and the Lord said, "Thou shalt not steal."
"Not steal? We're not interested."
He went to the French and said, "I have Commandments."
The French wanted an example and the Lord said,
"Thou shalt not commit adultery."
"Not commit adultery? We're not interested.
He went to the Jews and said, "I have Commandments."
"Commandments?" They said, "How much are they?"
"They're free."
"We'll take 10."
Four for Fridays
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Four for Fridays after a busy, busy week! Worked so darn many hours that I'm beginning to wonder what rest is. Guess I'll find out this weekend... Here are some questions for you.
1) Would you rather go blind or go deaf?
2) How much change is in your pocket?
3) Have you ever saved a life?
4) What is your Zodiac sign?
Enjoy your weekend!
1) Would you rather go blind or go deaf?
2) How much change is in your pocket?
3) Have you ever saved a life?
4) What is your Zodiac sign?
Enjoy your weekend!
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Motivational Thought for The Day
No matter what your job is, you can always try and make it more interesting ....
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
"Abusive Teacher Gets Lesson From Little Girl"
"The teacher calls the student stupid and pokes her in the head three times repeating the correct answer. The little girl responds with a swift kick to the nuts and runs off."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIvqOaf84AY
For that meltdown on a child, he deserved what he got.
Dear Madame Zoltar
Unfortunately, Madame Zoltar is feeling under the weather today.
Her column should reappear next week.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Fantasy Football Breaking News!
Urgent Fantasy Football news. We need one more team to be able to draft, and that team needs to join today. We have to have our draft done my midnight tonight to start playing. If you know of anyone who would like to play, please email me @ cjlarsen68@wi.rr.com so I can get them an invite and set up so we can draft. Come on all you irregulars, ya know you want in!
Monday, September 3, 2012
Here's a groaner
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, an Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, an Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, an Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolia Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, an Ukrainian, a Dutchman, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans, walk into a very fine restaurant.
"I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group..........
"You can't come in here without a Thai. "
"I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group..........
"You can't come in here without a Thai. "
