Saturday, December 1, 2012

Home Remedies

Did you know that drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain almost immediately-without the unpleasant side effects caused by traditional pain relievers?

Did you know that Colgate Toothpaste makes an excellent salve for burns?Before you head to the drugstore for a high-priced inhaler filled with mysterious chemicals, try chewing on a couple of curiously strong Altoids peppermints. They'll clear up your stuffed nose..

Achy muscles from a bout of the flu? Mix 1 tablespoon horseradish in 1 cup of olive oil. Let the mixture sit for 30 minutes, then apply it as amassage oil for instant relief for aching muscles.
Sore throat? Just mix 1/4 cup of vinegar with 1/4 cup of honey and take 1 tablespoon six times a day. The vinegar kills the bacteria.
Cure urinary tract infections with Alka-Seltzer. Just dissolve two tablets in a glass of water and drink it at the onset of the symptoms. Alka-Seltzer begins eliminating urinary tract infections almost instantly-even though the product was never advertised for this use.

Honey remedy for skin blemishes... cover the blemish with a dab of honey and place a Band-Aid over it. Honey kills the bacteria, keeps the skin sterile, and speeds healing. Works overnight.
Listerine therapy for toenail fungus:Get rid of unsightly toenail fungus by soaking your toes in Listerine M outhwash. The powerful antiseptic leaves your toenails looking healthy again.
Easy eyeglass protection... to prevent the screws in eyeglasses from loosening, apply a small drop of Maybelline Crystal Clear Nail Polish to the threads of the screws before tightening them.
Cleaning liquid that doubles as bug killer... if menacing bees, wasps, hornets, or yellow jackets get in your home and you can't find the insecticide, try a spray of Formula 409. Insects drop to the ground instantly.
Smart splinter remover: Just pour a drop of Elmer's Glue-All over the splinter, let dry, and peel the dried glue off the skin. The splinter sticks to the dried glue.
Hunt's Tomato Paste boil cure... cover the boil with Hunt's Tomato Paste as a compress. The acids from the tomatoes soothe the pain and bring the boil to a head.
Balm for broken blisters... to disinfect a broken blister, dab on a few drops of Listerine, a powerful antiseptic.
Vinegar to heal bruises... soak a cotton ball in white vinegar and apply it to the bruise for 1 hour. The vinegar reduces the blueness and speeds up the healing process.
Quaker Oats for fast pain relief... it's not for breakfast any more! Mix 2 cups of Quaker Oats and 1 cup of water in a bowl and warm in the microwave for 1 minute, cool slightly, and apply the mixture to your hands for soothing relief from arthritis pain.

"Happy Festivus... for the Rest of Us!"



The site for all things Festivus. 

Open Blog - Weekend


Happy December 1st.

Friday, November 30, 2012

"The Wisdom of Ron Swanson"


See more here: http://www.break.com/pictures/ron-wisdom-you-had-us-as-well-2392291

Four for Fridays

Hello everybody! Welcome back! Another Four for Fridays is here, are you glad? I am! It means I'll get to sleep in tomorrow morning... Anyways, some questions for you...

 1) How many phone numbers do you have committed to memory?

 2) What animal would you like to see in the 'wild' that you have never seen before?

 3) What is your favorite curse word?

 4) Do you have your Christmas decorations up yet?

 Enjoy your weekend!

Short story #2


Sammy shook her head.  This was not going to go well.  The other Tech if you could call him that, was a born clusterfuck that should have never worn the badge of a Tech Guild Second Class.  Hell, he shouldn’t have even been a Trainee.  The trip started off okay until we were a month into the burn.  The Drega was a class C ship used for cattle crossing.  “Cattle” were the misfits, near-do-wells, and others unlucky enough to be caught in the round ups every few months and sent to the Wastes.  That’s what we called Mars back then.  Wasted land, wasted air, wasted lives, and wasted effort.  They should have all been pushed out the air lock and saved the time and effort.  You see, Mars wasn’t close to terraformed like they claimed.  The air was thin and cold, people lived in caves they called Urbs.  Sub-urbs to be exact.  Sub (underground), urban (what a joke) cities if you could call them that.  Always dirty, never enough food, never enough water, but lots and lots of “cheap” labor.  It had better be cheap; they got spent like grains of sand.

I should introduce myself.  I was born Samantha Garcia, Hernandez, Gonzales, Vargas, Rodriquez, Ancrew, Johnson.  There would have been more names, but there wasn’t any more room on the Birth Certificate.  That’s where the Ancrew comes from.  Not even a real name, just a place holder for the ones that didn’t get their names listed.  “And Crew,” get it?  You see I was born in the parking lot of a building supply store, and these were the guys standing outside looking for work when Ma’s water burst.  We didn’t have the money for real medical care, and the midwife we’d arranged for, hadn’t expected me for a week.  So there everyone was, Ma in the bed of a pickup truck, laid out on a paint splattered canvas drop cloth, doing quick breaths while the day laborers looked on and cheered.  Mom had wide hips and her labor was easy.  Not like the labor my sister endured years later.  Yeah, I was born August 19th 2046.  Heh, pickup trucks.  Who’d have thought we’d still be using fossil fuels?  Anyway, life wasn’t easy, but it was a whole lot easier for us, than those that came after.  Cattle.  Those Day laborers had it good.

So there I was years later, tech first class, with a misfit tech crew of one.  I should have holed his suit for all the grief he caused me.  We had a thousand cattle and they give me a single tech, and a worthless one at that.  That first month I had sent him out to find out why the antenna wasn’t picking up the beamed news and he lost the entire auxiliary sled and tool kit for it.  How the Hell do you do that?  Well, the foolish ass didn’t tie it down and the acceleration did the rest of the work.  Not that the Drega had much acceleration.  Just a fiftieth of a G, but even a fiftieth builds up velocity when burned second after second, minute after minute, day, after day.  The fool could have used his jump pack to grab the sled before it was too late if he’d had anything on the ball.  To make matters worse, he’d taken the antenna half apart, and managed to lose most of it when he finally woke up to his fuck up.  So there we were, no sled, few tools and no news feed to keep the Cattle amused.  Not that it was all that important to keep them amused, but I’d been into season 14 of the all new Weeds show.  This would all bite us in the ass later, but by then, it was all par for the course.  The Captain wasn’t too happy, but like Tech Second Class Clusterfuck, he was pretty much worthless too.  This trip was not shaping up to be a good one.  I should have known it wasn’t going to go well.

At the three month mark it was time to shut down the main engine and start the turn-around where we swap ends so we could decelerate.  Yeah, good ol Captain Custerfuck and Tech second class made a great team.  Now if anyone knows much about Cattle ships, you understand you slowly back off the engine or the length of the ship acts like a spring.  Turn it off all at once, and the spring lets go.  Bad things happen because cattle ships are set up for compressive forces from their one direction drives.  Release the compression and spring!  Holds number three, five, seven and eight all lost air.  Holds seven and eight didn’t really matter as they were inert cargo.  Holds three and five however were filled with cattle.  Not a pretty sight.  Eh, while the Wastes would miss the moisture, freeze dried food is freeze dried food.  It’s all good.

Once we got the mess cleared away…  No scrub that.  We actually didn’t bother.  Cattle being what they are, we just made structural tests to make sure things weren’t completely fragged and set about turning the ship.  Now you need to understand Class C’s don’t like sudden moves, don’t ever see gravity, and need to be treated gently like a maiden’s nipple.  I don’t know what the captain was thinking.  I doubt he was able to think.  We were four and a half days into the turn around with just another five hours of side thrusters before we engaged the main engine again, (main engine my ass, fiftieth G?) and good ol Captain Clusterfuck (I swear him and Tech Second Class were brothers) had a Snail in the Control Room.  A SNAIL!  What a low browed cud chewing Cattlized Snail was doing in the control room is beyond me.  No, not beyond me.  There were stories of him and the first mate doing Snail drives through the Ward Rooms.  How did I ever get on this ship?  By then, I knew things were not going to go well.  I mean they hadn’t since the third week out, right?  Yeah, good ol Snail.  “Captain, what does this switch do?”  As she gave full power to the main engine while we were using the side thrusters.  We folded up like a pretzel.

Understand, our main engine pushed all of Drega at a fiftieth of a G, but the Drega was a big ship.  A very big ship.  Drives, bulk storage, new gear, replacement parts (Where I cobbled up a tool kit after Tech Clusterfuck lost the sled), propulsion mass, Cattle, hydroponics… Christ, everything that made Drega a cattle ship.  Pretty much broke in half.  Out gassing atmosphere pushing this way, other leaks pushing the other way, just a mess.  I’d been down in the engineering section taking readings (not much of a section, just a room with spares, some stores, and pipes, dials, gauges, valves and what not) when the main engine cut in.  Not a gradual start up, but a full on burn.  Remember that spring action from before?  Yup.  Side thrusters going so there is side stress to begin with and even though you try, the ship still gets all S shaped and wonky.  Most would look at the ship from out there in the Void and tell you it looked straight enough.  Yeah.  Sure.  Miss matched side to side stresses from the thrusters, and then the Main engine kicks in at max.  Not a pretty sight.

The off vector thrust threw me away from the pipe I had a toe hold on and sent me across the room.  Sounds like total mayhem, don’t it?  Well no, more like a slow motion train wreck.  It probably took a whole ten or fifteen seconds for me to get to a hand hold and by then it was too late.  I’d been stuck flailing away trying to reach anything to no avail.   When I finally got a handhold of a pipe, I scrabbled for the hatch, then to the air lock.  Didn’t care about Cattle, Captain or god, I’m not into breathing vacuum.  As I hit the air lock the main engines cut off, but by then it was too late.  The spring had sprung and we were folding, nothing to do but hunker down and kiss it goodbye.  There’s always luck though ain’t there?  Yeah, always luck.

They’re talking about a movie deal.  Something about some flight of the Phoenix.  Couldn’t save the Cattle, and after they ripped the Captain apart as their air ran out, wasn’t much point trying.  We’d only had the one sled anyway.  There were five of us down in the aft end with the engines and the Ponics.  We had the best half you could say.  Only four of us got back.  Somehow we misplaced a Tech Second Class Clusterfuck, but no one’s talking.  I was damned sure things would go well for once, and I was right.

Open Blog - Friday


Yes, it is!

Thursday, November 29, 2012

1954 Concept Old's Rocket F88


This is the car that in 1954 could have "killed" the Corvette. So, Chevrolet, being GM's big sales and profit division, campaigned to GM to "kill" this car.
 
When Chevy was coming out with its 6-cyl. Sports car with its 2-speed "powerglide" transmission and side curtains, here was a sports car from Olds with a big old V-8 and power windows.  So, GM said no to Oldsmobile on building this car.
 
The world's rarest automobile: a 1954 Concept Old's Rocket F88 - the only one in existence.  John S. Hendricks, (Discovery Communications founder) paid in excess of 3 million to acquire this 1954 Oldsmobile F-88 Convertible Concept Car. After spending decades as a collection of parts stuffed into wooden crates, the F-88 was reassembled.
 
In 1954, the F-88 was a Motorama Dream Car, and was one of only two, or an unconfirmed possible three, ever created. The F-88 seen here is literally the only car left of its kind, and was sold to John and Maureen Hendricks at the prestigious Barrett-Jackson Auto Auction in Scottsdale, Arizona, for an unbelievable $3,240,000. This acquisition made automotive history, and is in the cornerstone of the Gateway Colorado Automobile Museum, in its own special room in a rotating display, worthy of the F-88! 









 
Photos courteous of Original Photographer

Going to try to dust off my skills a bit. pensy #1


I just knew this wasn't going to go well.  I was sitting at the table shelling peas, when I looked up at my mother of fourteen years, and said, “Mama, I’m going to be a writer.”  She stood there a moment, took off her glasses and wiped her specs with a new Kleenex.  Looking up on the shelf for her big stir spoon, she reached up, grabbed it while whirling around to face me and the blows commenced to land hither and yon.  Mostly yon, as I didn’t get to be fourteen by moving slow in mama’s house.  Once she wound down and came up for air, she put the Big Spoon on the table, then sat down and looked me in the eye.  She said,

“Boy, don’t you ever mention writing in my house again.  I’ll have none of that foolishness.  It starts out innocent enough.  Just want to write your name so you can cash a check.  Next thing it’s numbers and complex fractions.  No good will come of this Boy.”  Mama looked down at the table and then her red and raw hands.  It seemed Mama’s hands were always red from working.  Looking back up at me she shook her head and said, “Okay, how long have you been writing?”

I could never pull one on Mama when she had me in her eye like that.  Looking sideways at the big spoon, I decided truth was better than making up stories.  Although I think I can make up good ones, now wasn’t the time.

“Well Mama, I’ve been making up stories for forever and…”

In a sudden move the Big Spoon was back in her hand and she got me soundly before I could jump back (which I did, but a bit too late) and sit back down and face her

“Jesse Lane, you have always been a precocious child.  I’ve known all along that you are nothing but a story teller.  Now,” she looked me dead in the eye again and said, “tell me you haven’t been writing these stories down.”

This was not going well.  I’d been writing since I was nine, and had taught myself the alphabet and stuff like punctuation from Jimmy’s books.  Looking at Mama, but more at the Big Spoon, I tried to swallow but my tongue was like sandpaper and my mouth dry as desert dust.

“Well..  “ I croaked.  “I’ve been writing for awhile.”  Mamma arched her brow and continued to give me the eye.  Giving me no help, I was forced to continue.  “Uh, the last four or five years?”

Studying her forgotten kettles, she turned back to me and said, “Are you asking me if you’ve been writing for four or five years?  Why even bother asking me?  Of course you have.  Just like your Father.  He never left me for another woman.  No, he’s living in a fleabag walk up in New York City and tells people he’s a writer.  A Writer.  And what kind of writer do you suppose Mister all High and Mighty, ‘I’m a writer!’ is?  The very worst kind.  A Science Fiction Writer.  Now tell me Jesse Lane ‘I’m going to be a Writer!’ just what kind of writer do you plan on being?”

I knew this wasn’t going to go well...

We've lost the ability to fix things.

My convection/microwave went out. I've learned to love the all around ability of this unit. Bake a cake, or heat some water for tea, it does it all. It also breaks. Twice now, but the fixes were all MUCH cheaper than buying a new one. They all have a label that says, "No user serviceable parts," and then attempt to make sure you don't try, by either riveting the until closed, or in the case of my Kenmoore, all the screws were Phillips, except for one Torx type screw. We can't make anything easy.

The first time it went on the blink was one lousy month after the warranty expired.  Naturally, the cover came off.  Inside I found a 20 amp Buss fuse, but didn't get lucky with the ohm meter, as the fuse was good.  Research and manuals are your friends.  Use both.  I found that the thermister (a transistor that acts like a thermostat) will show a specific fault, and sure enough it was bad.  I trip to the computer and i had a new one on the way from the online sears parts store.  About $24 with shipping.  One screw held it in place and the wires snapped in place on the circuit board.  All told, about five minutes to replace, and putting the cover back on took less than ten minutes.  Amount saved, about $280 for a new one.

The second time it broke was a few days ago.  The cover popped off much easier this time as the Torx anti tamper screw got thrown away....  Fixing it was easier too.  That 20 amp fuse had blown.  New fuse, and cover back on, and I'm nuking frozen food, and baking pizza once again.

I'm not a rocket scientist.  My fixes were simple and easy to accomplish.  Both times I was recommended to buy a new one.  Some of the low reviews for this Kenmore had the complaint, "Just stopped working."  I wonder how many might have been fixed with just a fuse or $20 part.  I dunno, when something costs $300 or so, I for sure want to see if I can fix t before I toss it.

Open Blog - Thursday


Yes, sir.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

"copyright!!!"


The JTI has been busted for its first copyright violation.  In March of this year, OrbsCorbs posted a blog entitled “What Is Beautiful To Me.”  The blog contained a picture that OrbsCorbs said he scanned from a calendar because he couldn’t find a copy online.  That should have been a clue.  It’s not available online because the photographer doesn’t want it available online.

Today, the JTI received an email that said, in part, “Please note that that this photograph is copyright of photographer ‘KS’ and ‘MP’ is its distributer. Nobody has right to distribute this work without author permission. I hope you remedy it. Yours ‘KS’” (Names have been changed to protect the innocent and our butts.)  The offending blog has been removed.

This should serve as a warning to us that copyright is real, even on the internet.  Be careful of what you post.  If there is a copyright symbol © or a statement that the work is copyrighted, do not copy it or reproduce it in any way without the owner's permission. 

Turkey Shoot

Here's a fun time waster........ Click Here To Play Turkey Shoot

posting problems

Several times I've had all formating go away here. Paragraphs turn into one huge block, bold disapears, just a mess. I can't copy and paste with any success and need to write the post in here, to keep any formating. What asm I doing wrong? I've tried both FF and E. No love. Help me please.

Pardon me, a rant. I haven't ranted in ages and have a need.

I read a post about someone arrested and jailed for four days for the mere act of videotaping officers as they did their job. I'd been reading post after post of finger pointing whining that Libs this, Libtards that, it's all their fault, scum of the earth and the entire time throwing Beck up and saying, We're just being Liberal. Take it as a joke, we mean no harm. Please, you really think we believe that? It smacks of bullshit and lies. Here, let me give a nice little post that reads like I read many of you. (not you guys, another membership forum with marked Conservative leanings)

 A response to the video taper....

 Who does he think he is? Recording cops as they do their work? This sort of Liberal is the worst kind. Lock him up and throw away the key. There shouldn't be any Rights that allow this to happen. He is putting the Officer's lives in danger and keeping them from doing their work. One of those cops should pull out his gun and shoot him. At least pistol whip him or Taze him four or five times. Yeah, that's what should be done to these video taping Libtards.

 There, a completely silly rant that foolishly vilifies one side in a polarizing way. It gets so old. So very old. Craggy skin, broken toothed, rheumy eyed OLD. Please keep up those posts like that. There are those that never talk about ANYTHING of any substance that doesn't seem to be polarizing. Used to come here for insight about news of the world and how they might affect world trade, gold, and life revolving around stacking and responsible living. Instead, I get piss Christ revisited. Claims that because I believe in an individuals Right to expression, means that I don't find that expression disgusting. Our Rights and freedoms are being eroded and you guys further the erosion along with Beck's tasteless jab. What happens when his jab takes the freedoms he LOVES and removes them? Don't you guys think? Don't you care? Are you so jadedly one sided you can't see the forest for the trees?`

 Ya know, I'm not even a true Liberal. Bring on the death penalty and poor houses. I BELIEVE in personal responsibility. I also believe in freedoms to use personal responsibility wisely. Neither Piss Christ, nor Piss Obama is using those Freedoms wisely. Thank you for redundantly making your point. Thank you for abusing the rights you love so much. Don't act shocked when you lose them.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my holiday treats!  How are you?  I am chilled, hear me brrr.  While online two nights ago, I noticed that the outdoor temperature dropped to 19 degrees. The teens, oh my.  Soon the single digits will be coming along.  When that happens, I am going into hibernation in my bedroom closet.  Wake me in the spring.  If only it was that easy.  Be prepared, my dears, for the worst in terms of winter.  I say that not as a psychic predication, but as an admission that even I cannot foretell Mother Nature’s behavior.  Nobody of this world.  So, pray for the best, but expect the worst.  We all know how brutal a Wisconsin winter can be.  Don’t be caught with your pants down.  Because it will be chilly.

Friday past was known as Black Friday and Monday was called Cyber Monday.  What most people don’t know is that the Saturday between them is Psychic Saturday.  Psychic Saturday is when most psychics do their holiday readings and conjuring.  I’m already done, with something for everyone.

Unfortunately, I did not make it to Monument Square before writing this blog.  I wanted to photograph the holiday decorations, especially the nativity scene and the “Light of Peace” obelisk, if they still put that up.  I’m considering petitioning the city for permission to put up a pedestal with a crystal ball attached to it next year.  There could also be a little dispenser of my business cards attached.  I assume that vandals will attempt to make off with the crystal ball, especially after bar closing time.  Therefore, my display, entitled “Great Balls of Fire,” will have to be anchored securely.  I also suggest that it be hotwired to local electrical lines at night.  If anyone touches the ball or tries to pee on the pedestal, zzzt!  Oh dear.

Have any of you driven through the new roundabout in front of City Hall?  All that pavement and landscaping and hardscaping seem to me to smack of conspicuous consumption.  That is, it doesn’t say to me, “We had deteriorating streets at the intersection and we wanted to make it as safe as possible.”  What it does say to me is, “Look at all the bells and whistles, everybody, woo hoo!  Oh, and keep your eyes on the road.”  However, as a monument to government overspending, it’s in the right location.

I also wanted to comment on Mr. OrbsCorbs’ blog, “I'm Grateful for the Education I Received,” http://www.jtirregulars.com/2012/11/im-grateful-for-education-i-received.html  That brought a tear to my eye and filled my heart with gratitude.  It’s so true that the things we take for granted are often the best things that we have.  Just being born in this country puts us at an enormous advantage over the rest of the world.  I stop at times and give thanks for all that I have and I am.  Give thanks, at least once a day.

That’s my blog for this week, my lovely Irregulars and groupies. Thank you for visiting with me today.  I am always grateful for your company.  I am always ready to say, “I love you.”

Roundabout or Fourth Circle of Hell?  Find out: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

I’ve worn my winter jacket and my winter coat is ready to go.  Bundle up, my bunnies.  You never know when the dreaded s-word may appear.  Stay warm.  Susurration!

Open Blog - Wednesday


That's right. TGIW!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

"WELLS BROTHERS PIZZA HOST FUNDRAISER FOR RACINE RAIDERS"

"(RACINE) - Two institutions that combined have served the Racine community for over 150 years are teaming up on Saturday, December 1, 2012, for a fundraiser. Wells Brothers Pizza, located at 2148 Mead Street in Racine, are hosting a fundraiser for the 2012 Semi-Pro BCS national champion Racine Raiders.


"Wells Brothers Pizza will donate a percentage of sales between 11:00 a.m. and 8:00 p.m. on Saturday, December 1, 2012, to the Racine Raiders organization. This applies to dine-in and carryout orders. Wells Brothers Pizza is recommending that patrons make reservations if they plan to dine-in by calling (262) 632-4408.


"The 2012 Semi-Pro BCS national championship trophy will be on display at Wells Brothers Restaurant during the event. In addition, Racine Raiders quarterback Craig McClelland (UW-Oshkosh), running back J.R. Taylor (Eastern Illinois University, Green Bay Packers) and defensive end Brandon Rogers (Tennessee State University) will sign autographs from 2:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. Everyone who visits Wells Brothers Pizza during the time the three players are there will receive free, limited-edition collector's cards of the three players.


"ABOUT WELLS BROTHERS PIZZA"

"Since 1921, Wells Brothers has been preparing Italian dishes utilizing the same recipes passed down through the generations — all using fresh, high quality ingredients. Wells Brothers has received numerous awards throughout the years including being named the #6 pizza in the nation in the book 'Everybody Loves Pizza' co-authored by Chicago food critic Penny Pollack.


"ABOUT THE RACINE RAIDERS"

"The Racine Raiders capped the team's 60th season of operation with the eighth national championship in team history, defeating the Nashville Storm, 38-24, in front of nearly 3,500 fans at Historic Horlick Athletic Field in Racine on Saturday, November 10. The team is a 501c(3) not-for-profit organization that is organized very similarly as the Green Bay Packers of the National Football League (no single owner; run by a board of directors). The team averaged nearly 2,000 fans at each home game during the 2012 campaign."
 

Where are our Moon Rocks?

After Apollo 11, President Nixon gave every state Moon Rocks of their own. It seems we are every bit as bad as New Jersey, and we LOST our moon rooks. With all the failed incompetent Governors, They could have been thrown away forty years ago. Something rare and precious of profound value, lost with the mildewed cabbage patch kids. http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/missing-moon-rocks-found-minnesota-storage-210606269.html;_ylt=A2KJ3Cd1g7VQmTAA84PQtDMD



http://video.staged.com/jimmywells/if_i_were_the_devil__by__paul_harvey

"Main Street bridge to close for four months"

Main Street Bridge at Dusk, originally uploaded by Dennis Jenders

From The Journal Times.com:

"RACINE — If you thought detours were behind you, think again.

"Starting Friday at 9 a.m., the Main Street bridge in Downtown Racine will be closed for four months for painting and repairs, public works officials at City Hall said Tuesday."

Read more: http://www.journaltimes.com/news/local/main-street-bridge-to-close-for-four-months/article_6deaca46-38d4-11e2-a311-001a4bcf887a.html


This is absurd.  Racine has year round road construction projects and detours, some lasting for years.