Pervert Telephone Call

The telephone rings, and the wife answers.

A pervert with heavy breathing, says, "I bet you have a tight ass, with no hair."

Woman replies, "Yes, he's watching TV - whom shall I say is calling?"

"Alfred Hitchcock Presents - Cure for insomnia"

Hitchcock was brilliant.

What's in my mouth?

That reminds me of Abbott and Costello's 'Who's on First' routine. When I had my wisdom teeth removed, I argued with my sister-in-law all the way home that I could drive.

Even my dogs hate obummer

The one I'm waiting for is the square footage of your roof and the color of it.  Black and it absorbs heat adding to the Global Heating.  I'm sure they can find a way to increase your property tax to fan cool your roof.

The larger your roof the more rain drops it catches thus sending more water down the sewers.

I know, I’m goofy but not as looney tunes as some of those in politics at both the state and federal level

You read this article an you just shake your head.

Poor Dogs

P or A ?

An old man was asked, "At your ripe age, what you prefer to get - Parkinson's or Alzheimer's?"

The wise one answered, "Definitely Parkinson's. Better to spill half an ounce of good whiskey, than to forget where you keep the damn bottle!!"

Open Blog - Weekend

Have a good one.

Four for Fridays

Hello everyone! Welcome back! It has been a long, dreary and tiring week for me. Would be glad to see the sunshine and the weekend. Anyways, some questions for you.....

1) What single piece of technology makes your life simpler?

2) Have you ever been mentioned in the newspaper?

3) What do you hate the sound of?

4) Where were you when you had your first kiss?

Enjoy your weekend!

"The Best Way To Keep Cats Off Counters"

OK, maybe it will take the cats a little longer to learn how to drive.

"Dogs learn to drive a car in New Zealand"

Laugh out loud. They have nothing better to do in New Zealand? Soon, Charlie will want the keys to the truck.

Open Blog - Friday

Have a smiley day.

Let the good times roll

So little time left.  Tick tock.  You better grab life while you can and...

Open Blog - Thursday

There she is again. Betty gets around.

MEDICAL REPORT

The following medical write-up explains so much.

 

Ever walk into a room with some purpose in mind, only to completely forget what that purpose was?  Turns out, doors themselves are to blame for these strange memory lapses.

 

Psychologists at the University of Notre Dame have discovered that passing through a doorway triggers what's known as an event boundary in the mind, separating one set of thoughts and memories from the next. Your brain files away the thoughts you had in the previous room and prepares a blank slate for the new locale.

 

It's not aging, it's the damn door!     Whew!

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

1.  HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids) 

-You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.

-- Alan, age 10

-No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.

-- Kristen, age 10

2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.

-- Camille, age 10

3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.

-- Derrick, age 8

4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MUM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids.

-- Lori, age 8

5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

-Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.

-- Lynnette, age 8
(isn't she a treasure)

-On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.

-- Martin, age 10

6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

-When they're rich.
-- Pam , age 7

-The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.

- - Curt, age 7

-The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- - Howard, age 8

7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child )

8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is.......

9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.

-- Ricky, age 10

women drivers

This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a woman In a brand new Cadillac doing 65 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.

 

I looked away for a couple seconds to continue shaving and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.

 

As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much; I had to put on my seat belt and I dropped my electric shaver which knocked the donut out of my other hand. 

 

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell Into the coffee between my legs!

 

Splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the damn phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.

 

Damn women drivers

Christmas Lights Part 1!

Yes it is the time of the year to go out and see all the Christmas lights. This was my Dad's favorite time of the year. I remember when I was younger my Dad and Mom would take us girls out to drive around to look at the Christmas lights. So now Drew and I are driving around and taking pictures of the different Christmas lights. The picture above was taken on the road by the Lighthouse in Racine Wi..

This was taken on Aberdeem Drive Racine Wi.. The really nice thing about this is you turn your radio to a Christmas station in your car and the lights go along with the music. The next two pictures will be by this house also.

This was taken by Case Harmon Park Racine Wi.. I just could not resist taking this picture.  

 

This was taken on Independence Drive Racine Wi.. Drew seen this in between some houses and pointed it out to me.

This was taken on Independence Drive Racine Wi. also. I seen this on the side of the house and I just had to have a picture of this.

This was taken on Main St. Racine Wi.. I was looking for the Nativity set up but was not there. If I have a picture of it from last year I will post it on my next post.

I hope everyone enjoys the Christmas light pictures I am posting. To see more I will have all of them on my facebook. I am just enjoying going out taking these pictures for everyone to enjoy just as much as I am enjoying going out looking at the lights. I am hoping to get out to Candy Cane Lane to get some pictures from there.

Feel free to leave any comments!

AMERICA'S HUNTERS ---

The world's largest army... America 's hunters!

A blogger added up the deer license sales in just a

handful of states and

arrived at a striking conclusion:

There were over 600,000 hunters

this season in the state of Wisconsin

Allow me to restate that number: 600,000

Over the last several months,

Wisconsin's hunters became the eighth largest army in

the world.

More men under arms than in Iran.

More than France and Germany combined.

These men deployed to

the woods of a single American state, Wisconsin, to hunt with

firearms, and no one was killed.

That number pales in comparison to the 750,000
who hunted the woods of Pennsylvania and

Michigan's 700,000 hunters,

all of whom have now returned home safely.

Toss in a quarter million hunters

in West Virginia and it literally establishes the fact that the

hunters of those four states alone

would comprise the largest army in the world.

And then add in the total number of hunters in the other 46 states.

It's millions more.

The point?

America will forever be safe

from foreign invasion with that

kind of home-grown firepower.

Hunting...

it's not just a way to fill the freezer.

It's a matter of national security.

That's why all enemies,

foreign and domestic,

want to see us disarmed.

Food for thought,

when next we consider gun control.

Overall it's true,

so if we disregard some assumptions that hunters

don't possess the same skills as soldiers, the question

would still remain...

What army of 2 million would want to face 30, 40, 50 million armed citizens???

For the sake of our freedom,

don't ever allow gun control

or confiscation of guns.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my holiday elves!  How are you?  It’s been another mild week so far.  I thoroughly enjoy 60-degree weather in December, but it makes me worry about drought and climate change.  I wonder about tipping points, beyond which we may no longer be able to recover.  What kind of world are we leaving for our children and grandchildren? Oh my.

On a more positive note, our exceptional and fantastic Green Bay Packers beat the Minnesota Vikings last Sunday.  This Sunday, December 9, our transcendent Packers meet the Detroit Lions, at 7:20 pm in Lambeau Field.  God have mercy on the Lions.

Do you have your Christmas decorations up yet?  Most of ours are up, thanks to Señor Zanza and Junior.  They spent much of the weekend decorating.  It’s a generous gift on their part. They gave of their time and themselves.  Thank you, gentlemen. 

I’ve read about the recent increase in robberies in Racine and surrounding areas.  It’s chilling to think of all the criminals out there.  I’m used to a kinder, gentler time.  The reality of today can be difficult to deal with.  To stay informed about local crime and to receive tips about avoiding it and/or helping the police, I read Racine Uncovered every day:  http://racineuncovered.org/  Racine Uncovered also carries stories on missing people and pets. Cold cases are revisited there and police from Racine and surrounding communities can use it to tap into thousands of eyes looking for someone or some thing.  Thank you, Racine Uncovered, for all that you do.

I received an email from someone going by the name “Concerned First District Resident.”  ‘Concerned’ wrote:

Dear Madame Zoltar,

Lately, whenever I’m in the downtown area, I see Keith Fair.  At first I thought it was just coincidence, but it has happened over and over.  Everywhere I go down there, there he is.    

Do you think there is any meaning to this?

Thank you,

Concerned First District Resident

Dear “Concerned,’

Thank you so much for asking me for advice. 

I think it's rather obvious what the sightings of Mr. Fair mean: you should run against him in the upcoming aldermanic elections.  You can get the paperwork to get started at the City Clerk’s office.  Go for it, ‘Concerned’!

And thank all of the rest of you out there in internet land who read my blog. I appreciate your visits.  You are why I am here, to serve you.  You make my day.  You are the best.

Christmas blahs?  The cure: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Enjoy the warmth of the season.  Enjoy the warmth of the temperature, too.  Watch out for crowds of holiday shoppers.  Better yet, stay off the streets and have some eggnog.  Vaniloquence!

 

"Woman Accused of Robbing Bank and Bragging About It on YouTube"

"This might seem obvious to some, but here’s a little life tip: If you steal a car and then rob a bank at gunpoint, don’t brag about it in a video on YouTube.

"Hannah Sabata, a 19-year-old from Nebraska, stands accused of doing this very thing.

"A YouTube user named Jellee Beanie, who the authorities say is Ms. Sabata, posted a seven-minute video last week bragging about a robbery of a Cornerstone Bank in Waco, Neb., where the county sheriff says Ms. Sabata stole $6,000."

Read more:  http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/12/04/woman-accused-of-robbing-bank-and-bragging-about-it-on-youtube/



She will probably get a book deal, maybe even a made-for-TV movie, out of this. 

Open Blog - Wednesday

Meow.

BBQ Going Green...!!!!

 

 

Open Blog - Tuesday

That's a rather odd combination.

RACINE MAYOR TO DECLARE DECEMBER 10, 2012, AS "RACINE RAIDERS DAY"

"(RACINE) - City of Racine Mayor John Dickert will read a special proclamation on Tuesday, December 4, 2012, during the Common Council meeting declaring Monday, December 10, 2012, as "Racine Raiders Day" in the City of Racine. The proclamation will be read at Racine City Hall (730 Washington Avenue), room 205, at 7:00 p.m. CT.

"This will be in recognition of the accomplishments of the 2012 Racine Raiders organization. The team finished the season with a 15-1 record and went 11-0 in the Mid-States Football League (MSFL). The Raiders won the MSFL championship.

"The Raiders then participated in the Midwest Football Tournament, beating the Ironman Football League champion Wauwatosa Spartans and winning the tournament championship. The Raiders then hosted the Nashville Storm, winners of the National Football Association championship, for the Semi-Pro BCS National Championship, which the Raiders won 38-24 in front of nearly 3,500 fans.

"The national championship was the eighth in the 60-year history of the Raiders but the first since 2001.

"For more information on the Racine Raiders, please visit http://www.racineraiders.com."

"I can't believe we made it"

"You've made it."

Made what?

"Ridiculous Speed Sign"

Now that's a good use of taxpayers' money.

The bass riff at the end of the video reminds me of "Seinfeld."

Who scratch cooks here?

As you might remember, I scratch cook to save a buck here and there.  Cooking isn't really all that hard or time consuming, and if you make large batches, you can set up quite a few different meals and freeze them.  Want to take a good meal to work but hate dragging the containers home or losing them?  Use zip lock storage bags   Everyone has their own coffee mug at work, have two, and one can be used to reheat your ready meal, or hold it after you've reheated the meal in the zip lock bag.  A quick wash and rinse at the sink, and you're good to go.

The latest really good recipe I've thrown together was regular old scalloped potatoes, with a 2% milk rue sauce.  To this standard, I added garlic powder, extra black pepper, and five table spoons of cheese soup from one of those soup packs (Bear Creek, etc).  I don't salt my scalloped potatoes due to my need to cut back salt, and figure half a cook's ham slice, and the cheese soup mix is enough sodium.

Another good way to reduce salt and increase regularity, is to increase the heat.  Black pepper can fool the pallet into thinking there is more sodium than you are used to and spices like red pepper add flavors that make salt stand out more, so you use less.

The next new scratch recipe I'm going to try is condensed mushroom soup.  I was surprised how quick and easy this is supposed to be, and looking at the portions, I'll be able to play a bit with the ingredients.

One thing I haven't done in  a very long time, is bake cookies.  Who is baking what, this year?  It's time to pile on the pounds so we can panic come January 1.  I plan on sticking around for the post rapture looting.  Stick around and join me.  We're all going to be RICH, RICH, RICH!  Unless of course no one is taken, then it's just business back to usual and slogging the miles at the treadmill.

If you can't stand losing stay in Minnesota

2 jailed, 1 hospitalized in sports bar brawl

By Associated Press

Dec. 3, 2012 9:04 a.m. | Ashwaubenon - A fight near Lambeau Field following the Green Bay Packers-Minnesota Vikings game sent one man to the hospital and two others to jail.

Authorities say the brawl in the parking lot of Sideline Sports Bar in Ashwaubenon involved 20 to 30 people Sunday afternoon. Public Safety Lt. Jody Crocker says a 50-year-old man who apparently tried to break up the fight was found unconscious and bleeding from the head.

Officers arrested a 40-year-old man Lakeland, Minn., man on a possible charge of felony battery. The Green Bay Press-Gazette says a Green Bay man was arrested for disorderly conduct. »Read Full Article

SS #3

Too late.  Need sleep.  Hands are stopping to work.  Orbs, not finished but, I cater to my audience.  :-)  I'll add more.  I see quite the little adventurer.  Curious and fearless.

Jimmy woke with his usual off/on light switch of energy that make little boys such a handful at the ages of four through twelve or so.  The birds along the phone lines out back were making their usual morning racket and the sun was just peeking over the horizon.  Jimmy was FIVE! And he told everyone.  Well everyone unless an old person asked, then a case of shyness would set it.  Old people were old!  They thought different than kids did.  You could never tell what was on the mind of an adult.  Too unpredictable to fathom and if they asked you a question, who knew what kind of reason they asked.  This morning was an Aunt Gracie morning.  He could smell the fresh coffee and bacon frying.  Jimmy always woke hungry when Aunt Gracie was here.  She made the BEST pancakes.  When she had time, she’d write his name in pancake batter.  The fry pan wasn’t big enough for “Jimmy,” so she wrote, “Jim” just like an old person’s name.  He guessed that was okay, but he was Jimmy.  Aunt Gracie said, someday I’d want to be called Jim or James.  No way!  James?  Oh ewww.  Who wants to be some Butler?  Maybe a Limousine driver would be fun, but who wants to dress up in a monkey suit?  Church was bad enough!  A suit you can’t play in, and the collar of his white shirt was always scratchy with starch.  And a church picnic?  How can you have fun at one of those?  You can’t climb a tree, or wrestle and play war.  Always praying.  I think Church picnics are…  shhhhh..   Heck!  (Don’t tell Aunt Gracie I said that.)

Jimmy quickly shinnied out of his pajamas and into his jeans and T-shirt.  Dad says, “Only trash sleep in their clothes.  We may not have much, but we have pride, manners and self respect.”(and scratchy collars.)  Taking the time to make his bed and fold his pajamas across his foot board like Mom showed him before she went away, he ran out to the kitchen and ran/banged into his dad’s side and gave him a quick tight hug before climbing in his chair.  Raymond Good looked up from the paper he was reading and said, “Good Morning Jimmy, what are your plans this fine day?”

“Danny and I were thinking about going to the park and fly his kite.”  (Maybe they’d climb that pine tree to the fifth branch this time)

Raymond raised an eyebrow and said, “Don’t go breaking your neck flying the kite.”

Jimmy’s eyes got round for second, and Aunt Gracie said, “Like a Book.” (Whatever that meant)  Dad just harrumphed.  With a small twinkle in his eye, Raymond looked at Jimmy and said, “I was talking to Mrs. Madison yesterday and she said…

There’s that point where you just know an old person is going to give you that disappointed look and talk (Jimmy had climbed her tree to the second branch last week.) it lasts for an instant, but is a “portendor of Doom.”     …she has an old bike that might fit you and…  (A BIKE!!!!)   …I’ll pick it up on the way to work and brush on some paint before shift starts.  It’s pink right now…  (pink?)  …because it’s a girl’s bike.”  Looking concerned, Raymond added, “It would be painted red though…  “

Jimmy thought all of three seconds and said “Sure!” with a beaming smile.  He didn’t mind a Girl’s bike.  Danny’s older brother hit that top bar on his bike when he was showing off and hurt his wanger bad.  Jimmy had seen it and Danny’s brother laid on the ground a long time before he got up again.  He walked funny the rest of the day too.   Jimmy just didn’t like pink.  Pink was a girl’s color and girls were weird.  Red though was the BEST!  Jimmy came down out of his clouds thinking of pink, then girls and then his sister, to hear his dad say,

“Well Sport, what do you think?  Will a red girl’s bike be okay for a first bike?  We can add training wheels and… no?  Don’t you think you should have some training wheels?”  Jimmy just shook his head.  “No, I guess not.  No training wheels for Captain Jimmy.”

“I think it’s SWELL!  Danny and I will ride to the park tomorrow!” Jimmy thought again about his sister and got a curious look on his face.  “Dad, does Kimberly have Poison Ivy?”  (Kimmy was his thirteen year old sister.)

With a quizzical look Raymond asked, “Why do you ask that?”

“Well, last night I had to use the bathroom and get a drink of water.  When I was coming back I heard some groaning like a bad dream, and Kimmy was scratching between her legs like when I had the measles and that time with poison ivy.  I know she don’t have the measles, but she’s a girl and probably doesn’t know poison ivy like I do.  (Catch it once, and you will know it well too!)

Raymond got a green look on his face and looked at Aunt Gracie who just snickered.  “You’re not helping matters here Grace.”  Looking back at Jimmy, Raymond said he’d talk to him that night but had to go now for the bike and get to work to paint it.  Standing up Raymond tucked his paper in his arm and gave Jimmy a quick hug, and a pleading look at Aunt Gracie.

“Okay Ray, I’ll think of something.”  Grace said with a smile, “Now, Work hard.”

Jimmy chimed in with, “Make Lots of money.”

Raymond ended with, “And eat at Joes.”  As Raymond headed out the door, he looked at Jimmy and said, “Remember when flying that kite, You don’t…   “  Jimmy and Aunt Gracie both chimed in with, “ …Break your/my neck.”

Turning to the stove Gracie looked over her shoulder and said, “I have two pieces of bacon with your name on it, some corn meal mush with raisins, and a slice of peanut butter toast sliced into ice cream cones.  Unless you want oatmeal of course.  Keeps the old folks regular ya know.”

Wrinkling his nose, Jimmy shook his head.  “No.  No oatmeal for me.  Cornmeal is just Great!” and meant it.  He liked it the way Aunt Gracie made it with sugar and a hint of salt.  Almost as good as corn on the cob.  Tomorrow we’d have Scrapple, and that was always good.  “So Aunt Gracie, does Kimberly have Poison Ivy?  I tried to ask if she wanted the calamine lotion, but she threw Mr. Tuttles (her stuffed chimp) at me and told me to get out.

“Let me think a bit and get the mush going and we’ll talk over a cup of coffee.  Grace brought the water to boil and stirred in the corn meal, a spoon and a half of sugar, and a pinch of salt.  Bringing the small pot to a simmer, she turned on the burner under the frying pan, added a slice of bacon cut in half, pulled out a slice of bread and popped it in the toaster.  Grabbing the coffee pot she added fresh to her cup, then set the coffee pot back on the back burner of the stove.  Checking the mush, she gave it a stir, then flipped the bacon over, and popped the toast.  Giving it a critical eye, she flipped it over and sent the plunger back down.  Dad said Aunt Gracie could clean a toilet diaper a baby and chant a salty limerick while having tea with the Queen.  All with efficiency and critical eye to detail.  Dad called her a JT Irregular, whatever that was.  To prove that fact, she popped the toaster up, turned off the heat to the fry pan and mush, then buttered his toast. (peanut butter first, then a smear of butter.)  She then took out the bacon to drain on a dish cloth before returning to the toast and making the required “cone cuts.”  Pulling down a bowl and plate she stacked them and arranged the bacon and toast around the bowl before spooning up the mush.  Glancing up, she inquired, “Milk?” as she grabbed the carton from the fridge.  Setting his plate before him and the carton down, she asked, “What are we forgetting?”

“Silverware!” Jimmy shouted.  Raising an eyebrow she looked at him while saying “And…  ?”  Jimmy groaned and said, “Prayer.”  Nodding at him she said, “Right.  Now get to it.”  Skrunching up his eyes he said,

“God is great, God is good, let us thank him for our food.”

Grace gave a “amen.” As he finished, then grabbed the silverware and sat down at the table with him.  “I’ve been thinking.” She started.

“Yes?”  Jimmy always liked when Aunt Gracie treated him in an “Adult fashion.”  He knew she’d tell him the truth.  “Does Kimmy have Poison Ivy?”

Aunt Gracie snorted in her coffee.  For many, that question might have set them stumbling, but Grace was a JTI through and through.  “No she doesn’t”

“Phew, because I was worried!”

“Of course you were.  We can’t have quarantine in the summer.  That’d never do for young boys.  But don’t be too relieved.  What Kimberly has is much worse.  Much, much worse.  She has Cooties!

to be continued

Good Morning Fog!

photo by chris mrozewski

Useless Information

Did you know:

 

It is estimated that 14 billion square feet of wallpaper is use every year!

Open Blog - Monday

Pretty butterflies.

Celebrating 10 Years of Making Stuff Up

Some of you know that I do improv and belong to the Tucson improv group Not Burnt Out, Just Unscrewed. I joined the troupe shortly after moving to Tucson in 2005 so I have been with them a little over seven years now.

However, the troupe was founded in 2002 so that makes 2012 the 10th anniversary. On November 10th, we had our big 10th Anniversary show. We rented a big theater at Pima Community College, invited back all the aluni who could make it and put on a two hour improv extravaganza.

The show was recorded and is now on the web.  We had 23 players. We divided the large cast into four smaller teams, each of which performed one set (each set had a different host, I hosted one set and played in one set). Here is the set I played in.



The highlight is the game typewriter which starts about the 13:00 mark and contains a marvelous epic chicken in chapter 3.

If you want to watch any of the other segments, or some of our other shows, you can find them at Cristobal Improv.

I hope this wets your appetite for some improv and if any of you ever make it to Tucson, I hope you can take in a show.

Oh Damn... That sure didn't work.

I had a drink I didn't finish last night.  Vodka on the rocks with a bit of lemonade mix stirred in.  I have a drink once every three months or so, and found I'd splashed in way too much vodka, so I covered the remainder.  The ice melted and diluted what was left, and this morning for breakfast (buckwheat pancakes with mulberries from the backyard, and sausages) I tossed in some ice and had the remainder of the vodka.  Huge mistake.  Wasn't a little.  Now I'm buzzed at 1pm, not about to go shopping, and it's nice outside.  I may just go out in the sun and ponder my navel for awhile.  Hmmm, one good thing.  The migraine is gone.

I got an Email from Mom.  She told me the story with the wannabee writer started pretty good, but wondered where the end was.  She really likes stories with beginning, middle, and ends.  For me, sometimes being left to dangle is part of the story.  It leaves you to wonder.  Well, was he a sci-fi writer?  Did he go to see his dad?  What about Mama?  Was she a closet writer?  Maybe the "worst kind" too.  A Fantasy writer!  Oh my, that would never do!  I don't think I want to add to it, as for me, it's finished.  The audience for that one broke out laughing.  Knowing me, it was a given that if the kid were me, he'd have been a sci-fi lad.  But this is an effort to stretch my wings a bit, and if you're stuck in just one genre, you can't draw upon your travels in another story.

This weekend I think I'm going to let my imagination run with some kids and see where it takes me.  I've found I can write very dark and Stephen King'ish, but doing that bothers me.  It really opens up a side I'd rather keep closed up.  Tightly.  Solidly.  Forever locked and without a key.  It's dank, dark, and filled with the goose bumps of screaming despair.

Lets talk a bit about copy writes.  I refuse to post on my FB page.  I'll leave that for the needy.  The ones seeking fame and acknowledgement.  Me?  Not so much.  Fame and recognition make me want to crawl in a hole.  Did I ever mention I wrote for a major magazine?  Yeah, I was a published contributor to a nationally published tome you can still find on store shelves.  Always bugged me to have someone i never met, clapping me on the back and acting like we'd been best friends for years.  That's when I discovered I don't like fame.  Now the Ex would scratch her head and find that puzzling.  She claimed I lived for center stage.  There is a difference though.  There's center stage with your friends, and center stage for the world.  I don't do the World well.

Here though?  Well, I'll probably post some more stories, but will not be happy if they get republished without my permission.  There is something about the Plagiarist that rubs me in the wrong way.  While writing comes embarrassingly easy for me, what I give away, I give to friends.  I don't give freely to someone looking for an easy grade at school, or a quick buck for a college paper.  I've been published there too, and managed to have my senior thesis quoted because of the research work I performed

So...   Thinking and thinking.  No late night key pounding.  Going to retire soon and see what the subconscious throws out at me.  I'm seeing some kids.  Some sort of adventure.  I'll have to see if it has a hero, or heroin.  There needs to be three more stories for my, "I knew things weren't going to go well." series.  Let's see what kind of day my Hero(in) wakes up to

"Amazing Anamorphic Illusions!"

"an·a·mor·phic
[an-uh-mawr-fik]
adjective
1.
Optics. having or producing unequal magnifications along two axes perpendicular to each other."

From:  http://dictionary.reference.com/