Useless Information

 

The banana cannot reproduce itself.

 

It can be propagated only by the hand of man.

One hot summer day......

Pauly is filling up his black pickup truck at the local gas station. He isn't very careful and he gets gasoline all over his jacket's left sleeve. He ignores it and leaves the station after paying for the gas.

 

As Pauly's driving down the highway, the heat of the sun on his truck's black paint is enough to ignite his jacket sleeve.

 

He drives faster, waving his arm out the window in an attempt to extinguish the flames, but the sleeve just burns.

 

As Pauly speeds down the highway, a state trooper sees the situation and pulls him over. He jerks Pauley out of the truck and rolls him on the ground until the fire is extinguished.

 

As Pauly dusts himself and thanks his rescuer, he sees the officer is writing him a summons! Confused, he asks, "You're writing me a ticket!? What for?"

 

The officer replies, "Isn't it obvious? Possession of an illegal fire arm."

Open Blog - Weekend

Need I say more?

More Spam Filter Woes

For some reason, the spam filter has prevented comments by THB, drew, and myself, from appearing.  It may do the same to others.  I assume that Blogger is working on the problem.  Your comment will appear.  It just takes time to discover the legitimate comments in the filter.

Or you can re-post your comment.  Sometimes they make it through on the second try.  We can delete duplicates later.  

Four for Fridays

Hello everyone! Sorry for a late start. It's the first day of my vacation and I caught myself sleeping in a little later than I wanted to. Oh well... Time to bring on the day with some questions....

1) How many times a day do you "click" on to the JTI?

2) If you had to move, what city would like to live in?

3) Do you believe in life on other planets?

 4) What is a truly great black and white movie?

Enjoy your weekend!

Open Blog - Friday

I am extremely fond of you, too.

"Moones - Better Energy - Drunk In Session"

You select how drunk the band is, from 0 to 80 beers.

The Root RIver!

I took these pictures on Tuesday afternoon of the Root River by 5 Mile Rd. I also have a picture of the sky tonight with the rain and thunder.

"RACINE RAIDERS BEGIN DEFENSE OF NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY NIGHT"

Special Ceremony Will Honor 2012 National Championship Team

"June 26 (RACINE) - The Racine Raiders open their 2013 season, their 61st year, on Saturday, June 29, 2013, against the South Dakota Stallions at Historic Horlick Athletic Field. Kickoff is at 7:00 p.m.

"The Raiders won the 2012 Semi-Pro BCS National Championship in 2012. It was the eighth national championship in team history and the first since 2001. The Raiders beat the Nashville Storm, 38-24, on November 10, 2012, in front of nearly 4,000 fans.

"The Raiders return much of the 2013 national championship team, including quarterback Craig McClelland, running back J.R. Taylor and receivers Dorian Palmer and Sam D'Alie and tight end Traves Worthington. Joining the receiving corps is Dom Kegel. Kegel, a standout quarterback in European pro leagues, will shift to the outside and become a target for McClelland. The offensive line remains intact with a couple of additions that will supply depth.

"Most of the defense also returns from 2012. The key loss is cornerback David Earl who moved out-of-state in the offseason. However, Nate Heard, a cornerback that excelled at UW-Oshkosh and UW-Milwaukee, joins the squad. The team also added depth at defensive line and linebacker.

"The Stallions, a third year team and members of the Midwest Football Alliance (MFA), are 4-2 overall and 4-1 in the MFA on the season. They trail the Des Moines Blaze, the only team that handed the Raiders a loss last season, by one game.

"The Stallions are led by quarterback Derrick Singleton. Singleton has tossed eight touchdowns and thrown just two interceptions this season.

"Sioux Falls has two running backs that are averaging over six yards per carry in Ricky Gutierrez and Darieon Smith. Gutierrez is also tied for the team lead in receptions and is averaging over 22 yards per catch out of the backfield.

"On the receiving end, Antonio Berry is the top outside target while Khalid Waters is the the deep threat, averaging over 35 yards per catch with three touchdowns.

"On defense, Jordan Bouw is among the team leaders with 21 tackles and leads the team with 4-1/2 sacks. James Augustus has a nose for the ball in the secondary, already hauling in five interceptions in just six games.

"The Raiders will have a special trophy and flag ceremony with a speech from City of Racine Mayor John Dickert. The Generation Alive Dance Team and the Racine Raiders Dance and Stunt Team will perform at halftime. Miss Racine, Elise Elmblad, a student at the University of Wisconsin-Parkside will sing the National Anthem.

"The gates at Historic Horlick Athletic Field open at 5:30 p.m. and a band will perform in the beer garden near the concession stand prior to the game.

"Tickets are available at nine local outlets or the Historic Horlick Athletic Field box office. Ticket prices are $8 for adults, $6 for senior citizens and $4 for school age children. Military veterans receive free admission when in uniform or by showing proper identification.

"The Racine Raiders, a 501c(3) not-for-profit organization, begin their 61st season of operations in 2013. The Raiders won their eighth national championship in 2012. Find out more about the Racine Raiders at http://www.racineraiders.com."

Open Blog - Thursday

Must be Thursday.  Labels don't lie.

Some More Wildflower Pictures!

I thought I would share some more wildflower pictures with everyone. I hope all of you enjoy the pictures.

This is a Birds Foot Trefoil the picture was taken at Pike River Pathway in Mount Pleasant Wi..

This is Blue Bells the picture was taken at Grant Park in South Milwaukee Wi..

This is a Bristle Thistle the picture was taken at Richard Bong State Recreational Area Brighton Wi..

This is a Marsh Marigold the picture was taken at Chewaukee Prairie Reserve Pleasant Prairie Wi..

This is a White Champion the picture was taken at Horicon Marsh National Refuge Auto Tour Lomira Wi.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my summer delights!  How are you?  We’re finally getting some warm weather, with plenty of rain, too.  It would be hard to not grow something with conditions like those.  “June Is Bustin’ Out All Over.”  The growth is as lush as it gets in Wisconsin.  It’s a great time to “stop and smell the roses.”  Smell a few other things, too. 

Don’t forget to wear your sun block when you venture outdoors.  The sun’s ultraviolet rays can harm you even on overcast days.  A wide-brimmed hat is also a good idea.  Be sure to protect your eyes with appropriate sunglasses.  Damage done now may not show up for years. 

Do not, I repeat, do not shave Goth symbols into your hair like Junior did, and then stay out in the burning sun until all the symbols are bright red.  He does kind of glow in the dark now.  We set him on the porch for a nightlight. 

Twinkies and select other Hostess products are supposed to be back in stores on July 15.  "The Sweetest Comeback In The History Of Ever."  Personally, I enjoy the CupCakes, but there’ll be some changes there.  The new CupCakes will be made from dark chocolate, instead of milk chocolate.  I still expect to gorge on them.  I don’t know why Twinkies didn’t catch on in our household when I grew up.  Maybe they were just too weird looking.  God only knows what’s in the “creamy filling.”   

We’re just over a week away from the 4^th of July, one of Racine’s favorite holidays and drunk fests.  Junior will go to the parade for sure, but I don’t know about myself or Señor Zanza.  The noise and excitement can get to be too much.  When it does, I take some Madame Zoltar’s® Atomic Tonic™, the first medicine made from nuclear waste.  Never worry about medicine expiration dates again.  Atomic Tonic’s™ half-life is 3,000,000,000 years.

Thank you, my dears, for stopping by today.  Our time spent together is precious.  I love your company and I love you.

Summertime Blues? madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com

Enjoy the week to come.  “Summertime and the livin’s easy.”  Go out and have “fun, fun, fun til her daddy takes the T-bird away.”  Look both ways before you cross the street, and then look again.  Fadaise!

Open Blog - Wednesday

I remember these.

"Pearls Before Swine" by Stephan Pastis

Two of my favorite thihngs: wrestling and literature. 

Venus and Vesta?

Earlier today, David Dickinson posted on twitter that there was a conjunction of Venus and the asteroid Vesta tonight. They would pass about 0.4 degrees from one another. However, separation between them changes very quickly...I looked it up and by the time it got dark in Tucson, they would be about two degrees apart. I thought, hey, I should try photographing that. Last year I successfully photographed Venus and Uranus. Vesta, however, is fainter and I would be fighting twilight so I knew it would be a tough shot. But I have bought a better camera since last year, a better tripod, and an iOptron Sky Tracker so I can take longer exposures as well.

I had to move a bit from my usual spot to dodge a bright streetlight and then ended up with a couple of power lines in the field of view. And then there is the weather! I had very little time to take pics before Venus dropped into the clouds. I got a few shots. After getting home, I tinkered with the photos in Lightroom a bit. I tried to bring out the fainter objects so the colors may be a little wonky. I then fired up Stellarium and set it to the right time and place and tried to match up the stars in Stellarium with my image to see if I could track down Vesta. First, the Stellarium image.

So now my image. I have labeled a few of the prominent stars and what I THINK MIGHT be Vesta. Look for a small object right above the "t" in Vesta (click to embiggen).

So, does anyone want to confirm I got it or put the kabash on this one?

While looking at Stellarium, I noticed that Ceres is not too far above Venus and they are moving toward a conjunction. Ceres will pass 4.8 degrees from Ceres on July 2nd...not quite as close, but I should have a shot at that one and hope for good weather that night!

UPDATE: I have heard from two others who have checked my photo against the chart and they agree that little smudge is in the right place and the right brightness for Vesta!

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

96 Crayons: A (Very) Short Story

When I was a kid, I always lusted after the box of 64 Crayola Crayons with the built in sharpener that all the cool kids had and I never did. Today while shopping online for our upcoming summer academy, I see they now have a box of 96 Crayola Crayons with the built in sharpener. I am still lusting after them. I will never be one of the cool kids.

Open Blog - Tuesday

It is only polite to wave back.

"Ask Your Mayor to Join the Marijuana Majority"

Becker would have joined.

"Conflict (конфликт)"

A bunch of hot heads.

Open Blog - Monday

Hope it is quick and painless.

Useless Information

Did you Know:

 

Some NASCAR pit crews spray Coca-Cola on the ground to make the assault or concrete sticky so when the car comes in the pit the pit crew guys feet don’t slide when they run around the cars.

"Field Reporter Lindsay Nadrich Drops F-Bomb On Air"

Say goodbye to your fucking job.