Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my Frosted Flakes. How are you?  The deep freeze is supposed to break today, but we still have plenty of winter left for subzero atrocities.  I want to move to JTIsland now.  We should just pick out an island and invade it.  Drive out the locals.  Then we can declare ourselves a sovereign nation and apply to the USA for foreign aid.  Give us a few millions dollars and we won’t ally with the bad guys.  It all sounds so lovely.  When do we start?

I see that the documentary, Pattern or Practice, is causing a brouhaha in the city.  Good.  We need more brouhahas and hullabaloos.

The Journal Times is reporting that Mr. Ex-Mayor Becker has been released from the Sturtevant Transitional Facility. (http://journaltimes.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/becker-released-from-custody/article_a36ee24e-8872-11e3-9188-001a4bcf887a.html)  Unspecified “treatments violations” triggered his arrest 12 days ago.  That’s all we know.  I mean, that’s all you know.  I, of course, know all.  Often, the best use I can make of this information is to not use it.  In any case, the experts have decided that it’s OK for Mr. Ex-Mayor to mingle with us once again.  The experts should know, right?

It’s awful to read about the propane shortage and the price gouging going on.  It’s especially so when you read stories like this: “Flatulent cows start fire at German dairy farm – police:”

“(Reuters) - Methane gas from 90 flatulent cows exploded in a German farm shed on Monday, damaging the roof and injuring one of the animals, police said.”

All that methane going to waste while we starve for propane.  Oh my.

Did you hear that Justin Bieber was arrested?  Like, for sure.  I don’t know why everyone keeps picking on the poor guy.  He should teach them a lesson by returning to Canada and never singing another note again.  Please. 

The “rock star” pope, Pope Francis, has made the cover of Rolling Stone magazine.  He’s also the subject of graffiti in Rome portraying him as the “ Super Pope.”  His love of the common people is being returned many times over.  Bless you, Pope Francis.

Bless anyone who tries to make this a better world.  There are far too few who do.  Woo-woo.

Thank you, my dears, for reading my blog today.  You know that I love to have company.  You know that I love my readers.  You know that I love you.

Make money selling your methane.  Fart your way to a fortune.  Contact: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com

Stay with the layered look for now, my dears.  There’s no reason to believe that February won’t be just as bad as January.  Or worse.  Remember, the best way to stay warm is to share body heat with someone else.  You can take it from there.  I love the Irregulars!  Jerque!

7 comments:

lizardmom said...

hope you're staying toasty, Madame!
Not sure how I feel about you calling us a bunch of flakes, guess the cold is getting to you :)

Anonymous said...

Oh my, I worried about that. I meant no offense. You are my dearest friends.

OKIE said...

We can be like snowflakes. We all blend in together and yet we are all different.

BL Basketcase said...

Does the pope shit in the woods?
I know some flakes for sure including bieber

legal stranger said...

Some profound shit on this blog!

kkdither said...

We love you too, Madame, in spite of you calling us Jerques. {snicker }

SER said...

I spoke with a friend of mine in Merrill, WI last night She originally paid $1.48 a gallon for LP; she got mad when it went to $189.

Then it went to $2.99 and you had to order at least 300 gallons or they would not deliver it. Then they raised it to $4.99 then to $5.99 and you could only get 100 gallons at a time.

Since it has dropped to $3.99 (as of yesterday 1/29. She turned her thermostat way down and purchased some electric heaters. She and her husband are now sleeping in their living room.