Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my winter-weary friends!  How are you?  Yes, that was snow the other day.  It’s difficult not to get discouraged with this weather.  Next up, floods.  The winter that wouldn’t die is clearly still alive.  Enough is enough.  We have to drive a stake through its heart.  Part those clouds and let the sun shine in.  We, the people, demand warmth!  Give me higher temperatures, or give me Florida.

The local news seems to be filled with nothing but fires and robberies.  One bar has been robbed three times in a month.  Sooner or later, one of these robbers is going to be shot by a bartender, business owner, or customer.  I predict that when it happens, Racine will prosecute the bartender, business owner, or customer.  Oh my.

It’s best to remember that you are responsible for your own safety.  I heartily salute and thank all Law Enforcement Officers who daily do their best to combat crime.  But the police simply can’t be everywhere at all times.  At least, not in a free country.  For self-protection, Señor Zanza uses what he calls “projective hypnotism,” which is instantly hypnotizing people from a distance.  The last mugger who tried to rob him ended up confessing to the police while dancing like a chicken.

I, of course, can astral project myself out of dicey situations.  Junior is left with his cell phone for protection.  I mean, he’s in school, which used to mean relative safety, so he can’t arm himself.  The school, of course, has teachers, officials, and even police officers on hand to deal with situations that may arise.  It’s crazy to think this way, to worry about my son being killed or harmed by some maniac, or another student, while he’s in school, but our world has changed so much.  It’s difficult raising children in these times.

Indeed, sometimes it can be difficult just existing.  Stay vigilant and aware of your surroundings at all times.  Don’t be the next victim.

In regard to the political trickery that takes place in our beautiful city, I quote the Holy Bible, Matthew, 7:15-16: “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits.”

Oh dear, once again I find my blog turning negative.  Here’s a video completely off the subject to cheer you up:

Seals are so cute.  Apparently, they just want a belly rub.

Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. America, for visiting my blog today.  I always appreciate an audience, and I always appreciate you.

How to deal with false prophets?  Ask: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com

Enjoy the hopefully warmer weather to come this week.  As it warms, more pedestrians, bicycles, and motorcycles are on the road.  Watch out for others.  And watch out for yourselves.  Decalfate!