Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my sweets!  How are you?  It looks like our temperatures are finally hovering around seasonal.  Still a little cool sometimes, but that’s better than hot and humid.  I’m sure we’ll have plenty of those days, too.  That’s summer in Wisconsin.  Very high heat and humidity I can usually stand, but 26 below zero with 50 mph winds I don’t like at all.  One of the great things about this time of year for us “old folk” is no ice or snow to slip on while walking.  Foot freedom until next December, or so.  I can walk normally, even run.  But when the sidewalk or parking lot is full of snow and/or ice, it gets harder to deal with every year.  It’s almost like my bones know they’re more brittle, so I’m reduced to mincing, baby steps.  I hate it.

Now really people, how are you?  Are you OK physically, mentally, and spiritually?  The comments section below is a good place to complain if things aren’t so good.  It helps to get it off of your chest.  I’m beginning to feel arthritis in my hips and knees.  Sometimes it’s so bad, especially in my right hip, that I have to take an extra dose or two of my Madame Zoltar’s® General Purpose Pain Reliever.  I must be careful, though.  Five or six doses of that have put me on my butt.  However, I was feeling no pain, or much of anything else.  It’s good to know that my Pain Reliever is a multi-purpose product that will also remove paint, power your car, and get your clothes stunningly white again, all of them, even those that were colored.  That is, assuming that the Pain Reliever/detergent doesn’t shred your clothes to pieces.

“Pain Reliever/detergent” reminded me of a news story I read today: “Man dies after waiter accidentally serves him glass of detergent instead of wine” - http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/man-dies-after-waiter-accidentally-serves-him-glass-of-detergent-instead-of-wine-10324018.html But, how was the meal otherwise?  Oh my, I’m so nasty.

Guess who I heard from?  My ex, of course, after I published this: http://www.jtirregulars.com/2015/06/dear-madame-zoltar-special-edition.html  He said “The Shaman” was cutting deep into his revenues.  “Good,” I said.  Then he started his regular spiel and trying to hypnotize me.  I reminded him that I’m quite good friends with Señor Zanza.  “I have nothing more to say to you,” I said to him.  “If you need to contact me, do it through Señor Zanza.”  I’ve not heard a word from him since.  When I asked Señor Zanza if my ex has contacted him, he said, “You need to rest.  Don’t even think about him.  I take care of everything.”

That’s reassuring, I guess.  I’m not used to not being the boss and it’s hard for me to let go control of some things.  The Señor can bring home the bacon for awhile if he so desires.  I don’t mind relaxing a little.

Want to see something relaxing?  Watch this:

Oh, wuggums, who’s a good boy, huh, who’s a good boy?

Enjoy the outdoors as much as possible, my lovelies.  Things are still changeable, but I’ve finally put away my winter coat and boots for the season.  I hope it won’t snow for awhile.

To buy Madame Zoltar’s® General Purpose Pain Reliever, contact: MadameZoltar@jtirregulars.com

Stay loose, kiddos. Summer hasn’t even officially started.  When driving, keep a lookout for motorcycles and bicycles and kids running into the street.  You never know when a child may dart out.  Protect your eyes and skin from the harmful rays of the sun.  I love you all!