Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my butterflies!  How are you?  Keeping cool? I was talking with a friend the other day and we both agreed that this has, so far, been a normal summer for us.  We do need rain, but we’re not at drought levels, yet.   It’s been pretty hot a few times, but nothing abnormal.  Let’s hope that next winter is the same.  Cold, but not arctic cold.  Of course, ever since Mother Nature went insane, nothing is for sure.  She’s off her meds and on the prowl.  I also think that she likes to make meteorologists look bad by not following their predictions.  She’s such a screwball.

And speaking of screwballs, what a bunch are running this country?  Too bad that we can’t just hit a reset or reboot button to start all over. When did American politicians go bad?  I’ve lived a few decades, and I don’t remember it like this.  Why does a difference of opinion now lead to hate?  Maybe it’s time to add some tranquilizers to the water.  And lace the booze with truth serum.  Heck, I do that for breakfast.

My hero, Señor Zanza, may have saved a life the other day.  We went to Wal-Mart.  (I know, but the prices are so low.)  In the parking lot, Señor Zanza spotted a young child in a locked car parked in the sun.  Windows rolled up.  He immediately got the store to announce the type of vehicle and where it was parked.  A sheepish-looking woman finally showed up.  He gave her a tongue-lashing.  He told her we were moments from calling the police and throwing a brick through the car glass to let in air.  She agreed it was the wrong thing to do, but she was “just going to run in and quickly get a few things.”  Huh!  There’s no such word as “quickly” in Walmart.

Now, Señor Baby Saver acts a little snooty.  There’s talk of giving him some sort of civic award.  That scares the poopy out of the little snooty.  “He doesn’t want to appear on TV or video of any kind.  He refuses to allow his face and/or portrait photographs of any kind to be shown.  He is adamant!  And probably guilty of 40 major crimes,” said the TV producer.

“Do you have any proof of that?” I asked the producer.

He said, “This is TV.  You don’t need proof on TV.”

I can’t think of Señor Zanza, my partner for years, guilty of any crime, I think.  Yes, no, I don’t know.

You know, a scandal about him might easily spill over into my business.  “Don’t worry,”

the Señor says.  “Everything will be alright.”

And speaking of things spilling over, I have a client to attend to later today, so I won’t be able to make it to the get-together. I apologize.  My client ha$ i$$ue$ he need$ to re$olve.  I still love you all, every last one.

Here’s a heartwarming story for us dog-lovers:

Aww, good dog.  I tried practicing what Mr. OrbsCorbs said about rubbing noses with online pets.  I didn’t get bit or anything, but now my screen is greasy.

I hope that you enjoyed my blog this week.  You know I love the company.  You’re my pals!

Who’s snooty and who’s poopy? Ask: MadameZoltar@jtirregulars.com

Thanks again for stopping by.  Get out and have some summer fun, but don’t get hurt.  (“Yes, mother.”)  Whatever else you do, don’t forget the sunscreen.  Mr. Sun has caused a lot of Big C in baby boomers.  I told you Mother Nature is insane.  I love you all.