Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my roasting nuts!  How are you?  According to my weather men, the temperature will stay high for the next few days, and then cool a little.  Last week must have been one lost from a September somewhere else.  Cool and very breezy.  Now we’re back in the hotbox.

I hope that none of you believe that palaver last week from Mr. Sheriff saying, “Madame Zoltar's blog won't appear today because she is nursing a colossal hangover.  She hopes to sober up, I mean, feel better, next week.”  Ha, ha, very funny, Mr. Sheriff.  Actually, I twisted my back early last Tuesday.  The doctor said there was not much to do but take it easy.  He also gave me painkillers.  That was the mistake.  I took one after I got home from the doctor and the next thing I knew, it was Wednesday afternoon.  Pain pills yes, but sedatives no.  I’m feeling better, so I won’t be taking anymore.  You must follow directions when taking prescription (and non-prescription) drugs.  These pills are dangerous if you plan on any activity other than sleep after taking one.  Junior wants to try one.  No way! 

Speaking of Junior, he went back to school this week.  Judging by his behavior, you’d think that the Titanic had sunk again.  He’s being absolutely funereal.  To be honest, it’s nice not to have him underfoot during the day, but we pay for it the rest of the day with his terrible attitude.  Sorry, kid, but everyone I’ve ever known had to go to school.  I wasn’t real keen on it, either, but I feared my parents’ wrath even more.  Just do it.  Years from now, you’ll thank me.

Or else!

I hope the boy, the young man, will do his best in school.  He could be the first Zoltar to get a Ph.D. in something other than bullshit.  Every parent wants what’s best for their child.  That can be a tough order to fill when there are so many different students.  More than anything else, I pray for him.  I pray for him to be fulfilled and content.  When it comes to the more earthy tasks, such as helping him with his homework, I usually let Señor Zanza do that.  He knows more than me, anyway, and I hope he can give Junior the kind of training he needs.  It’s going to be a vastly different world by the time he grows up.  I don’t know if so much change, so quickly, is good for us.  I guess we’ll find that out, too.

Señor Zanza adapts to change much more quickly than I do.  Update my operating system and I’m lost for days.  Señor Zanza picks it up almost instantly.  Hmm.  Someone stuck a letter under our front door the other day.  It accused Señor Zanza of being an extraterrestrial, a scout prior to an invasion.  I saw it before Señor Zanza did, so I gave it to him after I read it.  He chuckled after reading it.  He said, “What are the chances of an extraterrestrial even looking like us?  Another life form would likely look different.  Just look at the branches of the evolutionary tree.  There are so many ways for aliens to go.”

Here’s one:

Oh my, indeed.  They always look more or less like us.  I remember from the original Star Trek TV series a story where rocks were alive.  And who can forget the episode where a minute life form refers to us as “Ugly Bags of Water?”

Thank you one and all for stopping by to peruse or perhaps read my entire blog.  I love visitors.  That includes you.

Should humanity change its name to “Ugly Bags of Water” Ask: MadameZarolt@jtirregulars.com

Enjoy the waning days of summer.  It’s been my experience that summer lasts two weeks into September and then, as if someone threw a switch, it becomes autumn.  Enjoy the upcoming Labor Day Weekend. The school buses are out there now.  Keep any eye out for children.