Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my cooling cucumbers! How are you?  If the long range forecast is worth anything, we’re supposed to warm up again in a week.  I couldn’t help but smile when I typed “long range forecast” in reference to meteorologists.  At their very best, they’re good for a 24 hour forecast, and they can’t even get that right every time.  People who work outdoors often rely more upon their own instincts than what the weatherman said.

I don’t care, just as long as we get our “Indian Summer” this autumn.  Otherwise, I think we’ve had a normal summer so far.  A little dry (she says, after a day of thunderstorms), but we’re not that far off the mark.  I’m not running the air conditioning while I write this.  It’s a little humid, but the temperature, 67° F, is great.  Too bad that thus starts the slide toward winter.

After receiving injures during the preseason (a deplorable habit), this Sunday, September 13, at noon, at Soldier Field, the glorious monster which is the Green Bay Packers will be unleashed upon the nuisance Chicago Bears for their season opener.  I’m sorry to say this, Ms. Tender Heart Bear, but your team is doomed.  Catch all the action on FOX, if you dare.

Junior will be watching the game at the home of a friend, a female friend who is also a Chicago Bears fan.  This will mark the beginning of Junior’s education in dealing with a female fan of an opposing team.  Ha-ha.  I’d love to be a fly on that wall.

Here’s a little story if you’re interested: “Grandmothers behind the evolution of monogamous and committed relationship: Kristen Hawkes” - http://nycity.today/content/285064-grandmothers-behind-evolution-monogamous-and-committed-relationship-kristen-hawkes It almost seems at times as if women do most of the good in the world while men do most of the bad.  I believe that the rates for all crimes are higher for men.  This is not to condemn men.  They add spice to life; they can open jars and shovel s-word.  Some are actually good in bed, but they all think they’re the best Lothario.  Here’s a hint: if you don’t know, ask.  Most women would be happy that you care enough to ask.  Most would be surprised that you read this blog.  I’m not sure if mentioning the JTI on a first date would be wise.  Maybe wait and see how irregular they can be.

Señor Zanza, of course, is the perfect gentleman.  Ha, again.  I had you going for a second there. I doubt that I’m the perfect gentlewoman in his eyes.  We’re more realistic than that.  Sometimes he tries my patience, but I’ve learned to let others do things the way they desire.  We all have quirks.

These guys have a great time near summer’s end:

That makes me want to be a dog and go for a dip.  No one is criticizing anyone else’s “swimsuit: and no one yells, “Fat!”

Thank you for spending some time with me today.  I love visitors and readers.  Actually, I pretty much love everybody except for crooked politicians (is there any other kind?) and the legions of bureaucratic dunderheads who enable them.  Once I get my Romanian up, watch out!

Who’s the perfect asshole?  Ask: MadameZarolt@jtirregulars.com

Love, love, love.  Better start enjoying what’s left of this weather.  You better start taking care of yourselves first, and others second.  School’s in session, so please drive responsibly around school buses.  Children run in every direction.  I love you all.