From LiveLeak:
Saturday, October 24, 2015
"Yep, still giggling"
From The Lonely Libertarian :
"As a proud recipient of a Master of Arts degree,
I'm very well aware that, after a few drinks,
it becomes Master of Farts".
Where's Why Not? She likes fart jokes.
Friday, October 23, 2015
Romance in Aisle 9
The other day I was in our local WalPuke Neighborhood Mart, walking from the back of the store to the front. Why are the things I want always in the back? Is this some diabolical plot to expose me to all the other products?
While walking, I got that feeling you get when someone is staring at you. To the right up ahead was a woman checking me out. ME! She looked to be in her thirties and was fairly attractive. As I approached her, I gave her a wide smile.
No reaction.
Then I thought, "Store detective."
Well, thank you Lord for even the few seconds of elation.
The only people interested in this body anymore are in the medical field.
While walking, I got that feeling you get when someone is staring at you. To the right up ahead was a woman checking me out. ME! She looked to be in her thirties and was fairly attractive. As I approached her, I gave her a wide smile.
No reaction.
Then I thought, "Store detective."
Well, thank you Lord for even the few seconds of elation.
The only people interested in this body anymore are in the medical field.
Four for Fridays!
This week went by so fast for me. I just feel like I did not get anything accomplished at all this week. I wanted to get out more to get pictures and I didn't get to do to much of that this week. I also had my last physical therapy yesterday with that I had to do different kinds of tests and passed all of it. I had a hard time coming up with some questions for you today but I did so here they are.
1) Do you ever do something you really do not want to do just to make someone else happy?
2) Do you watch any kind of sports on t.v. and what is it?
3) Do you think that the kids these days are to spoiled with all of the electronics's that are out now?
4) Do you ever wish that you did things different in your life?
I hope everyone stays warm and has a great day!
1) Do you ever do something you really do not want to do just to make someone else happy?
2) Do you watch any kind of sports on t.v. and what is it?
3) Do you think that the kids these days are to spoiled with all of the electronics's that are out now?
4) Do you ever wish that you did things different in your life?
I hope everyone stays warm and has a great day!
More Body Parts Selfies
I went to the lab a couple of days ago for blood work (and pee-work, and whatever else work). When it came time to draw blood, the technician asked, "Which arm do they usually use?" I said, "I think it's usually the right one, but I have shingles and it extends down my right arm almost to my elbow. I'm worried about tying off some of the shingles."
"OK," she said, "then we'll go with the left arm." She tried and tried to draw blood, but it wouldn't flow. The above pic is what my left arm looks like where she tried.
I said, "Go with the right arm. It'll be OK." And it was, as far as the tying off. The technician said, "Ah, now I see why they use this side."
She stuck in the needle and still no blood flowed into the hypodermic. She pushed it side to side and up and down. She said, "Doesn't this hurt?" And I said, "Yes."
Suddenly, blood started to flow through the hypodermic needle. She said, "Operator error. I didn't go deep enough."
I think she went through one vein and into another. Below is how my right arm looks.
Thursday, October 22, 2015
Yay or Nay?
That must have hurt like hell. And how do you keep your tongue stuck out long enough for the tattooist to work?
I like it
"Man barricaded in house in police custody after dancing on roof"
"Officers with the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department responded to a house on the 3500 block of Layman Avenue around 10:30 a.m. for a barricaded subject.
"Police say a man, later identified by authorities as Matthew Russ, 25, stole his ex-girlfriend's keys from her house, took her car and crashed it into a pole.
"Police say they found Russ in a chair in the driveway holding a knife.
"He then went into the house and onto the roof with the knife in his hand. An IMPD officer then fired rubber bullets at him, and he retreated back into the house.
"Around 11 a.m., smoke was seen coming from the house, leading to the fire department being called to the scene.
"Russ came back out as a detective tried to talk him off the roof. He threw his knife at the ground, but didn't leave the roof.
"Russ then began dancing on the roof with smoke and flames behind him. Police went in the aerial ladder, tased him, then took him into custody at around 11:40 a.m.
"Police say the man is known to have anger issues. He was smiling as he was taken away on a gurney."
Read more: http://www.theindychannel.com/news/local-news/man-barricades-himself-in-house-possibly-with-hostage
Did you see what he did to that utility pole? Then he sets her house on fire. Then he fucks with the firefighters trying to save his ass. Shoulda let him "Burn, baby, burn!"
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Monday!
Finally back in Tucson. Didn't get to meet the president...he didn't really wander the exhibits or telescopes after his speech, but did meet the Mythbusters and a bunch of astronauts. If you know the White House grounds, my scope was setup up down by the fountain. Still in a bit of a daze and wondering did THAT really happen?
Dear Madame Zoltar
Our outstanding and other-worldly Green Bay Packers checkmated the San Diego Chargers this Sunday past. Now they have a bye week. Sometimes I don't know if a bye week is good for a team or not. If your team has sustained a lot of injuries, I suppose it's good. But I worry about sustaining momentum with an extra week off.
The momentum must've stopped in the Irregular Football League because the standings remain the same after a week.
Mr. OrbsCorbs contacted me about his shingles in the hope of a cure or effective treatment. I gave him a bottle of Madame Zoltar's® Shingles Shoo-Away™. I haven't seen or heard from Mr. Corbs since. I hope that he realizes that the Shingles Shoo-Away is supposed to be applied topically and not drunk.
After seeing Mr. Corbs' sores, I've decided to get the shingles shot. Some immunity is better than none. I think I'm going to get the flu shot, too. I'll get all shot up.
Junior's been getting all excited about Halloween, but I think he might be a bit old to go out trick or treating. I think I've mentioned in the past that Junior is a bit on the heavy side. He doesn't need the candy and other goodies people will be handing out. Then again, I love chocolate. Maybe I'll accompany Junior. My "costume" is perfect: fortune teller.
No, no, no, I have to lose some weight, too. Señor Zanza eats whatever he wants, whenever he wants, and he stays rail thin. Don't you just hate people like that? It's like they're born with an immunity to fat. Bottle that stuff and become a millionaire. Meanwhile, the same old same old applies to weight loss: diet and exercise. I can't seem to control either. But I think I'm learning not to obsess about it so much. Some of it is a matter of learning to love who I am. I mean, they PhotoShop the pictures of the women on magazine covers to make them appear absurdly thin. No one really looks like that. Accept yourself and improve when and where you see fit.
I've tried reading news stories in an effort to make sense out of what is happening internationally. Forget it. They're nuts. There are way too many factions in way too many countries to figure them out. It just seems like it's war all of the time. Most of us in the West can lead "normal" lives. Where out troops are fighting, though, nothing is "normal" but death and destruction. Many of our opponents claim to be fighting a holy war. Did it ever occur to them that if God wanted something a certain way, it would be so? God doesn't need our help in killing, He needs our help in loving. It's so. so easy to destroy things, and so, so difficult to create them.
Finally, my dears, here's a little picture to make you smile:
Thank you for stopping by to read my blog today. I love readers. I love the Irregulars. I love having your company. Slow down, relax, take it easy.
Do you have a problem? Ask: MadameZoltar@jtirregulars.com
Be careful around the leave piles. When I was a kid, we loved to run and jump into them. And watch out for the shortening day and light. Plan ahead, pray, and hold on.
I'm Still For Sale!
Prolific blogger and writer for your position or campaign. Intelligent. Cheap. Soulless.
I think the steroids the doctor gave me are a bit too strong.
I'm trying to lead a normal life but those big bumps keep getting in the way.
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
"Andy Griffith - Ernest T Bass Courts Charlene"
So that's what I've been doing wrong. I didn't realize that rock throwing is part of proper courting.
"Racine County Man Becomes Instant Millionaire with Ultimate Millions Ticket"
From RacineUncovered:
10/19/2015 | Filed under: Local News |
"From the Wisconsin State Lottery- Jeff Jackson of Mount Pleasant
became a millionaire when he redeemed an Ultimate Millions scratch
ticket worth $1 million. Ultimate Millions was a $30 instant scratch
game available only in Wisconsin, which had three top prizes of $1
million. Jackson redeemed the last $1 million prize of the game. The
other two top prize winners were Judith Clark of Eau Claire and Karen
Perdue of Fort Atkinson.
"Jackson bought his ticket at Pick’n Save – 2820 South Green Bay Road in Racine. He will take home more than $673,000 after taxes. Pick’n Save earns 2% of the total prize as a retailer incentive, or $20,000. On Friday, October 16, the Wisconsin Lottery launched a new $30 instant scratch ticket, Classic Millions, which also offers three top prizes of $1 million each.
"The odds of winning the top prize in Ultimate Millions are 1:200,000"
Read more: http://racineuncovered.org/2015/10/racine-county-man-becomes-instant-millionaire-with-ultimate-millions-ticket/
I bet you now that Jackson is seeing some action.
10/19/2015 | Filed under: Local News |
 |
| Credit - RacineUncovered |
"Jackson bought his ticket at Pick’n Save – 2820 South Green Bay Road in Racine. He will take home more than $673,000 after taxes. Pick’n Save earns 2% of the total prize as a retailer incentive, or $20,000. On Friday, October 16, the Wisconsin Lottery launched a new $30 instant scratch ticket, Classic Millions, which also offers three top prizes of $1 million each.
"The odds of winning the top prize in Ultimate Millions are 1:200,000"
Read more: http://racineuncovered.org/2015/10/racine-county-man-becomes-instant-millionaire-with-ultimate-millions-ticket/
I bet you now that Jackson is seeing some action.
Monday, October 19, 2015
"Wheaton Franciscan Mental Health Unit Cited For Violations"
From Racine County Eye:
By Denise Lockwood in Breaking, Health and fitness · October 16, 2015 · No comment
"A state and federal investigation uncovered inconsistent staffing levels resulting in an unsafe environment for patients at Wheaton Franciscan Healthcare-All Saints inpatient mental health unit.
"Acting on several complaints, surveyors from the State Division of Quality Assurance (DQA), and the Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMMS) conducted an unannounced visit in May to the children and adolescent unit, and adult inpatient mental health units at 1320 Wisconsin Avenue.
"The investigation by DQA and CMMS uncovered instances of uncontrollable adolescents being placed in the same unit as sex offenders, a number of sexual assaults between patients, discriminatory admission practices, and nurses being told by management to falsify safety checks by saying the checks were conducted when they were not."
Click here to see CMMS report, and the DQA report and plan of correction."
Read more: http://racinecountyeye.com/wheaton-franciscan-mental-health-unit-cited-for-violations/
Uh-oh! SpaghettiOs!
By Denise Lockwood in Breaking, Health and fitness · October 16, 2015 · No comment
 |
| Credit - Racine County Eye |
"Acting on several complaints, surveyors from the State Division of Quality Assurance (DQA), and the Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMMS) conducted an unannounced visit in May to the children and adolescent unit, and adult inpatient mental health units at 1320 Wisconsin Avenue.
"The investigation by DQA and CMMS uncovered instances of uncontrollable adolescents being placed in the same unit as sex offenders, a number of sexual assaults between patients, discriminatory admission practices, and nurses being told by management to falsify safety checks by saying the checks were conducted when they were not."
Click here to see CMMS report, and the DQA report and plan of correction."
Read more: http://racinecountyeye.com/wheaton-franciscan-mental-health-unit-cited-for-violations/
Uh-oh! SpaghettiOs!
Sunday, October 18, 2015
Shingles Selfie
See that shit near my armpit? That wraps around to my back. but there's no one else here to take a back photo but me and Charlie. I tried a few times and gave up. The shit follows neural pathways. If you touch it, it hurts like hell. Wearing clothing is painful.
20 % of shingles sufferers suffer permanent nerve damage from the disease. And it can reappear, in the same or different locations. I was told today that triggers include a low immune system (not that I'm aware of) and stress. Bingo! Stress is coming out of every orifice of my body. If they could convert stress to electricity, I could probably light up a mid-sized town.
I remember asking my physician about the shingles vaccine last year. He didn't seem too enthused. Check out this site: http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/vpd-vac/shingles/vacc-need-know.htm Even the CDC admits that the shingles vaccine is only about 60% effective.
So, we'll see how this progresses and take it from there. Hopefully I got on the anti-viral soon enough. Whatever, once I'm healthy again, I think I'll get the shingles shot if my insurance covers it. I heard it's expensive. But if there's anything I can do to avoid a repeat of this, I'm going for it.
I hear it can take a long, long time for shingles to heal. I don't know if I have that much time left.