Saturday, December 31, 2016

Open Blog - New Year's Eve


Take it easy on the celebrating or you'll feel like crap.  Don't Drink and Drive - get a designated driver.  Enjoy.

Friday, December 30, 2016

Four for Fridays!

Sorry I am posting this kind of late but Drew has a four day weekend and he was on here before me. I am also still recovering from Christmas with all the driving I did last weekend. My days are messed up with Drew having four day weekends.

If you are going out anyplace this weekend please be extra safe and have a designated driver. But also enjoy yourself with family and friends. Here are your questions this week.

1) Do you have any New Year's Eve traditions that you do?

2) Do you spend New Year's Eve with family or friends?

3) What are your plans for New Year's Eve?

4) Do you make any kind of New Year's resolutions?

Have a great weekend!

Open Blog - Friday


I don't think I have the right key.

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello to all who have survived the holidays thus far.  There's more mischief coming our way over the New Year's weekend. Get loaded, fall down, puke, repeat. Nothing attracts a woman more than the sight and smell of puke.

Our weather has returned to a facsimile of something livable.  But they say the bottom will drop out early next week.  Eh, that's the way winter gores.  Up, down, and all around.  The wind has been a pain in the butt.  You can open your car door and it may be yanked from your hand by the wind.  I've had to chase my turban a few times.  It's worse out west here.  West of Hwy 31, is like a wind tunnel without the tunnel.

Our wondrous and marvelous Grren Bay Packers face the Detroit Lions on New Year's Day at 7;30 pm in Detroit.  This is the last game before they go ihto the after season.  Will our Packers be there?  Keep your eyes on the ball.

The Irregular Football League has finished.  How I got in 5th place, I'll never know. Mr. OrbsCorbs telephoned me right away with the results.  He ended up in 3rd place:


Bah, who cares about fantasy football, anyway?  I have much better fantasies on my own.

Mr. Mayor Lying John has said he would proceed with all the proposed changes to downtown and elsewhere.  He said he'd do it himself if he had to.  I applaud his determination.  Give him some bricks and mortar so he can start to work right away.  What a messed up mind.

If you don't like what Mr. Mayor is doing, he'll turn into a giant bedbug and drain you of all your blood.  The same goes for anyone else who dares to criticize Mr. Mayor.  Join, or you'll be sucked dry.  It's like Franz Kafka's The Metamorphosis.  A monstrous bug.  Ick!

Well, thank you for visiting my blog today.  Newcomers are always welcome.  Join and become a respected member of the JTI Corps.  We need some more bodies here.

Who will win the Super Bowl?  Ask madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com

Enjoy a good weather day when you can.  When you can't, bundle up and stay home.  This is just the first third of the winter.  January and February are usually worse.  Jeez, I can't wait. 

__________________________
Please donate: paypal.me/jgmazelis
If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com and I'll send you my street address so you can send a check or money order.  Thank you.

Happy Birthday, Lizardmom!


Is that a lizard or dinosaur in the image above?  I google image searched for "lizard birthday cake."

Happy Birthday, Lizardmom.  We all wish you the best birthday ever.

Open Blog - Wednesday


Last time I let my spirit soar, my pants fell down.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Forget About It

From The Shepherd Express:

By Art Kumbalek 9 hours ago


I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, this old year 2016 is practically expired and I’m thinking the less said about it the better. Try as I might, I can’t think of one positive thing to say, what the fock.

But there is this I could say: If you’re fancy-free come the New Year’s Eve so’s to kick 2016 out the door, maybe I’ll see you over by the North Shore American Legion Post 331 up there in Shorewood on Wilson Drive just north of Capitol, 9 p.m. to midnight with the John Schneider Orchestra, Claire Morkin, MRS. FUN and some saxophone player, ring-a-ding-ding. It be a suggested donation of $10, but if you’d rather drop a grand or two at the door, there’d be no complaints.

So I got to go, but to the limit of my optimism, I wish you all a happy focking New Year, and good luck with that what the fock, ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.

From: http://shepherdexpress.com/article-28963-forget-about-it.html

Related:  https://theshepstore.kostizi.com/

Open Blog - Tuesday


Love him while you can. Fate can change everything in an instant.

Sunday, December 25, 2016

$50 Piggly Wiggly Gift Card for $40


My niece and her family gave me a slew of $50 Piggly Wiggly gift cards.  That's great, but I need cash for gasoline and other non-Piggly Wiggly products.  I'm selling one card for $40.  If you're interested, please contact me at orbscorbs@jtirregulars.com or if you know me, get ahold of me.

Merry Christmas.

↫󠀸󠀳Please donate↬

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You could donate to promote real news and real gags.

You could donate because it's the right thing to do.

You could donate just a few dollars.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

 




___________________
Please donate: paypal.me/jgmazelis
If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at jtirregulars@jtirregulars.com and I'll send you my address so you can send a check or money order.  Thank you.

Merry Christmas


Best wishes to all.

Saturday, December 24, 2016

"ZEITGEIST: THE MOVIE | 2007 (HD)"

Submitted by TSE:

Naughty Lightning

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You could donate in the name of that special someone as a Christmas gift.

You could donate to promote real news and real gags.

You could donate because it's the right thing to do.

You could donate just a few dollars.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

 




___________________
Please donate: paypal.me/jgmazelis
If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at jtirregulars@jtirregulars.com and I'll send you my address so you can send a check or money order.  Thank you.

Happy Christmas Eve


Santa comes tonight. Leave out some cookies and milk for him

Friday, December 23, 2016

"Man reportedly destroys decorations, cuts Christmas tree cord"


From The Journal Times.com:

"TOWN OF NORWAY — A 33-year-old Wind Lake man allegedly ravaged the inside of a woman's house and assaulted her following a work-related holiday party, resulting in three charges.

"Joshua M. Manriquez was charged with misdemeanor battery, disorderly conduct and criminal damage to property, all related to domestic abuse, following the incident Wednesday. 

"The woman was reportedly with Manriquez earlier in the day at the party, where they were drinking alcohol, before an incident angered Manriquez and he left her there. 

"The woman returned home to find all of her Christmas decorations broken and strewn about the residence, her glass family heirlooms smashed, several other items broken or torn apart and a box filled with Christmas presents emptied, according to a criminal complaint. The electrical cord to the Christmas tree and electric appliances also was cut. 

"When she tried to talk to Manriquez, he allegedly slapped her in the face multiple times. While the woman spoke with police dispatchers, Manriquez said he would murder her male coworker and ruin her life, according to the complaint.

"Four children were reportedly home at the time of the incident. 

"Manriquez made his initial court appearance Thursday. A pre-trial conference is set for Jan. 26."

From:  http://journaltimes.com/news/local/man-reportedly-destroys-decorations-cuts-christmas-tree-cord/article_dbad8b04-af83-5af7-82dd-b85bd100843d.html


Christmas madness.  Get drunk and start destroying everything.  That's what my dad did on Christmas.  My memories are of him falling into the Christmas tree, calling my mom a whore, and breaking others (mine) presents.  On year I got an Eldon slot car drag racing set.  My drunken dad came oiut of the bathroom, stepped on the drag strip and then started kicking it.  He destroyed the win selector, the chute for stopping the dragsters, and I don't know how many pieces of track.  Merry fucking Christmas.

"Free speech group: Lawmakers' push to end UW-Madison course is 'definition of censorship'"


From The Journal Times.com:

"Warnings from two Republican lawmakers that the University of Wisconsin System’s budget could be affected if UW-Madison does not cancel a planned course on racism amount to an unconstitutional attempt to stifle free speech, according to a national anti-censorship group.

"The Foundation for Individual Rights in Education, which tracks campus speech policies at colleges and universities across the country and criticizes efforts to limit First Amendment rights, said the statements this week from state Rep. Dave Murphy, R-Greenville, and Sen. Steve Nass, R-Whitewater, threaten academic freedom.

"'Of course, legislators — like everyone else — are free to criticize academics as they see fit, but using one’s power as a government official to crack down on speech is the very definition of censorship prohibited under the First Amendment,' Joe Cohn, the group’s legislative and policy director, wrote Wednesday.

"Nass and Murphy have called for UW-Madison to cancel the course, planned for the spring semester, titled 'The Problem of Whiteness.' The course will explore white identity and the role of white people in dismantling racist systems, according to UW officials.

"But Nass and Murphy say the class is inappropriate and a waste of money. They both called for UW-Madison to cancel the course, and said administrators’ handling of it could affect how the lawmakers evaluate the UW System’s request for increased funding in the next state budget.

"Murphy on Tuesday called for the professor leading the course to be fired over posts on social media in which Murphy said the faculty member, Damon Sajnani, condoned violence against police officers."

Read more: http://journaltimes.com/news/state-and-regional/free-speech-group-lawmakers-push-to-end-uw-madison-course/article_38f39bf8-0794-59ea-ae8d-067847cd12d6.html


"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." - Evelyn Beatrice Hall

Four for Fridays!

Well we are getting ready to go up north today. Drew already has the car packed and ready to go just getting the last minute things together. We would like to wish everyone a Very Merry Christmas and please if you are traveling be safe on the roads. Here are the questions.

1) Do you still wrap your presents or just get gift bags?

2) Do you decorate the outside of your house for everyone to enjoy?

3) Do you like watching Christmas movies?

4) Do you enjoy listening to Christmas music?

Have a great day!

↫󠀸󠀳Please donate↬

You could donate in the name of that special someone as a Christmas gift.

You could donate to promote real news and real gags.

You could donate because it's the right thing to do.

You could donate just a few dollars.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

 




___________________
Please donate: paypal.me/jgmazelis
If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at jtirregulars@jtirregulars.com and I'll send you my address so you can send a check or money order.  Thank you.

Open Blog - Friday


You last minute shoppers take care.

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Top 10 Media Thursdays

↫󠀸󠀳Please donate↬

You could donate in the name of that special someone as a Christmas gift.

You could donate to promote real news and real gags.

You could donate because it's the right thing to do.

You could donate just a few dollars.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

 




___________________
Please donate: paypal.me/jgmazelis
If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at jtirregulars@jtirregulars.com and I'll send you my address so you can send a check or money order.  Thank you.

Open Blog - Thursday


Happy Thursday.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

"Talking Racine"

"Raw and thoughtful panel discussion of issues that confront Racine. Sometimes hard hitting, 
ccasionally humorous, and always honest. Local officials and people of prominence are always 
welcome, if they're not afraid to be challenged."


Check them out. 

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello to Santa's elves.  You're working your butts off!  A very Merry Christmas to all! OK, we have all the snow we need for a White Christmas.  From here on, it's "No More Snow!  No More Snow!"  Did the Mr. President-Elect make any weather promises?  We need to hold him to the promises he did make.  Some of them, I'd like to hold his neck in my hands to squeeze the truth out of him.

There's the holiday stress, for you.  Peace and love to all men and women.  Sometimes that;s harder to embrace than at other times.  Still, we must try, lest we degenerate ourselves.

The Irregular Football League is already into its final championship:

   
I ended up in fifth place.  Whaa, whaa, whaa!  Well, there's always next year.

The resplendent  Green Bay Packers beat the Chicago Bears on Sunday past in a nail biter finish which ended with a Packers field goal in the dying seconds of the game.  Huzzah, huzzah!  Next, on Christmas Eve, the Packers face the Minnesota Vikings on their turf at noon. Kill one for me, boys!

Locally, I have to comment on the Machinery Row brouhaha.  Will someone please, PLEASE, duct tape Mr. Mayor Lying John's mouth shut.  Another $4.5 million lost.  Not only is Mr. Mayor Lying John a failed mayor, but he's also a failed realtor.  He will not stop hurling our money to the winds until he is stopped.  Where's Superman when you need him?

Junior got his license.  I don't care.  I still won't ride with him when he's driving. Señor Zanza is very proud of his student.  It only took three tries to get it.  He is NOT going to drive my car, so he beter start saving up for his wheels and insurance.

It's hard to believe that it's only four days to Christmas.  Then comes New Year's Day and then it all stops,  Nothing but snow, ice, and cold for two to three months.  I could do without that, but I'd have to move south.  I'd find a place with a great winter attitude, and then sweat all spring, summer, and fall. You can't win.

Well, my readers are winners.  Thank you for stopping by.  I love every last one of you.  You are the gravy on my mashed potatoes.  You taste yummy.

How much more money will Mr. Mayor Lying John lose?  Ask madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com

Be careful out there. There's a million ways to hurt yourself in the winter.  Please avoid them.  Take it slow and easy in traffic during storms.  At least turn off your cell phones.  Texting yourself to death is possible when you mix in cars.  I don't want to see any Irregulars hurt.  Watch out for black ice.  Watch out for regular ice.  And watch out for the cold and snow.  We wish everyone a very Merry Christmas.  I love you.

________________________
Please donate: paypal.me/jgmazelis
If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com and I'll send you my street address so you can send a check or money order.  Thank you.

↫󠀸󠀳Please donate↬

You could donate in the name of that special someone as a Christmas gift.

You could donate to promote real news and real gags.

You could donate because it's the right thing to do.

You could donate just a few dollars.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

 




___________________
Please donate: paypal.me/jgmazelis
If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at jtirregulars@jtirregulars.com and I'll send you my address so you can send a check or money order.  Thank you.

Open Blog - Wednesday


I was hoping it's the first day of spring.

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

"Sleigh Booze Ring-a-Ding"

From The Shepherd Express:

By Art Kumbalek 4 hours ago
 
 
I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So yeah, I’ve been a tad light on the receiving end of Christmas cards this year, what the fock. The other day, the only thing in my mailbox was a letter from an insurance company about their Funeral Advantage Program for seniors. Maybe they know something I don’t, like for me this year it shall be a very bury Christmas, focking swell.

Anyways, since every day’s just another focking holiday to a guy like me, I’m taking the day and heading up over by the Uptowner tavern/charm school—where today is always at least a day before tomorrow, and yesterday may gosh darn well be today—to meet up with the fellas and make some holiday plans. Come along if you like, but you buy the first round. Let’s get going.

Julius: So last year for Christmas I got the wife some doilies for the sofa and a new pair of slippers from Walgreens, but this year I wanted to get her some kind of book ’cause I figure no way in hell can a person read and talk at the same time.

Emil: Christmas comes too soon. Didn’t we just have the baseball World Series, for christ sakes? Christmas should be the Jan. 25, not the Dec. 25. It would make the winter shorter. And after New Year’s, you can always find a used, free tree in an alley somewhere.

Herbie: You see where the Brewers signed a new first baseman who played the last couple, three years in South Korea?

Ernie: South Korea? Cripes, I hope somebody keeps an eye on Hank the Dog when it’s time to prepare a day’s clubhouse meal, ain’a?

Little Jimmy Iodine: I was reading about something called “de-extinction,” where scientists with the DNA and stuff think they can bring back the wooly mammoth, the passenger pigeon and the gastric brooding frog.

Julius: And maybe someday they can bring back Abe Lincoln, what the fock. Wouldn’t he look good in the White House right about now, what the fock.

Ray: You could bring him back but what if he doesn’t want to be a president, again. What if he wants to be a choreographer, or a firefighter? He might say, “Jeez louise, I already freed the slaves, cut me some slack.”

Herbie: I’m pro-science, but you got to admit the scientists aren’t always infallible. Here’s an example: Some scientists decided to do these experiments on a dog. For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog’s legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked; so they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs. Second experiment: They cut off a second leg from the dog, then told the dog to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs. So for the third experiment, they cut off another leg from the dog and once more told Fido to go take a walk. But wouldn’t you know, the dog wasn’t able to walk with only one leg.

Ray: No shit, Sherlock.

Herbie: As a result of these three experiments, the scientists hypothesized that the reason the dog could not walk after having three legs cut off was that it had lost its hearing.

Emil: I wish those scientists were here right now to discover who swiped my focking bar change, goddamn it.

Little Jimmy Iodine: Hey, Artie! Over here. Put a load on your keister.

Art: Hey gents. What do you hear, what do you know.

Ernie: I hear we all better start to learn Russia for when Czar Trump tosses the keys to the country over to Put-Put.

Little Jimmy: And I heard for a 1 million bucks at some auction, you can go hunting with Trump’s sons, what’s-their-names.

Ray: Uday and Qusay? Cripes, with those two oily characters around, who needs a Dakota Pipeline, ain’a?

Julius: Artie, Trump offer you any big-time government job yet?

Art: Hell no. As a longtime presidential candidate, you’d figure I’d be at the top of his list for this or that, but I’ve yet to receive an offer. But I got my fingers crossed that Don makes me an ambassador to somewheres.

Herbie: If not Trump, I hear Putin’s got an opening.

Art: I want to be an ambassador where the main job is to go to banquets, and then the rest of the time you conduct yourself like a regular Santa Claus from America who’s come to some godforsaken part of the world to bring glad tidings of a better way of life, toss some dough around, be nice to the kids and just plain spread a little good cheer each and every day of your term—especially in those places where the people seem that they just can’t get enough of slaughtering each other, what the fock.

(It’s getting late and I know you got to go, but thanks for letting us bend your ear, ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.)


Related:  https://theshepstore.kostizi.com/

↫󠀸󠀳Please donate↬

You could donate in the name of that special someone as a Christmas gift.

You could donate to promote real news and real gags.

You could donate because it's the right thing to do.

You could donate just a few dollars.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

 




___________________
Please donate: paypal.me/jgmazelis
If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at jtirregulars@jtirregulars.com and I'll send you my address so you can send a check or money order.  Thank you.

Open Blog - Tuesday


Happy Tuesday to you, too.

Monday, December 19, 2016

Septic trucks

Submitted by legal stranger:

 

Craptastic!

Christmas Decorations 2016!

Sorry I have not been posting Christmas decorations yet. I really have not been out getting any pictures because I have been busy making my cookies. But I do have some pictures to share with everyone. These pictures are from South Milwaukee.