JT IRREGULARS: 5/14/17

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Friday, May 19, 2017

Hello everyone I hope all of you were able to enjoy the nice weather we had this week. Now it is the cold weather and more rain again. I am hoping we can get the warm weather back I was enjoying having the windows open. Here are your questions.

1) When was the last time you went to a festival or carnival?

2) Did you go to the festival or carnival for the rides or music?

3) If you went for the music who was the last band you went to see?

4) If you went for the rides what is your favorite ride?

Have a great weekend.

Open Blog - Fridaay

You've lost almost all of your clothing since Tuesday. Good job.

Thursday, May 18, 2017

"5 Most Badass People Of All Time"

Open Blog - Thursday

Whoa! It looked like you disappeared for a minute, Betty.

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hi, mom and dad, little sister and little brother! It's time once again for that fabulous blog, "Dear Madame Zoltar," the blog that asks the musical question, "Who let the dogs out?"

We've been experiencing some wonderful weather. It's actually in the 80's. Yesterday, too. Unfortunately, more rain is in the forecast. Farmers can't get out into their fields to plant. Why not use drones to plant the seeds? These wild swings in weather are blamed on climate change. We've just begun to experience that. Give it a few more years. I predict that things are going to get real crazy.

As I write this, the children from the school next door are out screaming. It starts at 10 AM and continues to 4 or so. For recess, all the children seem to do is scream and scream and scream. Are they ever in class? Earlier today, a lot of the kids were yelling, "Woo!" So I started to yell it back through my window. That was fun.

Last night, Mr. lying John gave his last state of the city speech, and then got teary-eyed as he talked about the felons he calls friends. Please, Mr. lying John, stop with the formalities and just get the hell out of office. NOW! We've been raped almost constantly since this pig made it to office and we'll need some time to heal. Heck, maybe I'll run for mayor. I couldn't do worse than the criminals we now have in office. If elected, I promise a roundabout at every intersection.

I'd also get rid of the City Administrator position. What an inglorious waste of over $100K every year. If Mr. Tom Freidel had an ethical bone in his body, he'd return half of his pay. Ack-ptoo! I get very worked up when talking about the thieves that have destroyed Racine. Every last one of those pigs should be proscuted to the fullrst extent of the law. Of course, when your City Attorney is part of the problem, it's difficult to see daylight.

Well, Junior has continued to drive Señor Zanza's car with no apparent problem, except he can't afford much gasoline. Too bad. Get a part-time job, Junior, and start living like an adult. Junior lnows that Señor Zanza is a soft touch as opposed to me. So he constantly asks to borow his car instead of mine. He already knows the answer I'll give him.

Thank you for reading my blog this week. I love you all and wish you the best. Better keep a jacket in the car until we know for sure that winter is done.

Direct your inquiries to madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com

Watch out for kids playing in the street. That's where all my boyfriends played baseball. If you encounter a "boom car," be sure to give him the finger for me. When one of thoose is stopped at a light, I like to sidle up next to him, put on some Rammstein full blast, and then lower my windows.They give me dirty looks. How dare I interrupot their atempt to inflict themselves on others? Ha-ha! Enjoy.

__________________________
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If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com and I'll send you my street address so you can send a check or money order. Thank you.

Open Blog - Wednesday

I'm smiling, I'm smiling.

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

"Six-Feet Sleep"

From The Shepherd Express:

By Art Kumbalek

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh man manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I just got the info that Powers Boothe (“Guyana Tragedy: The Story of Jim Jones,” Con Air, Sin City, The Avengers, “Deadwood,” etc.) the deeply magnificent TV, movie, actor’s actor from out of Texas, has passed. Age 68. Died in his sleep. “Natural causes,” they report. Hey, put me down for one of those: Age 68. Natural causes. Died in his sleep. Count me in, what the fock. (Which reminds me that, at my age, I really need to get more sleep. Put that on my bucket list.)

Yes sir, natural is the way to go in each and every way, I hear. Jeez louise, every other goddamn TV ad begs you to buy this or that ’cause it’s “natural”; so this or that has just got to be gosh darn good for you ’cause it’s “natural,” you bet. No artificial substitute, please, like cancer, bus runover, gunshot. Got to be natural.

And I figure that dying in or during your sleep, of natural causes, is also a financially sound way to bid adieu—to say “aloha, all” before a boatload of MRIs, PET scans, CAT scans, X-rays, chemotherapy, lying in a ho$pital bed puking sick for weeks, sends you to bankruptcy and the poor house from the bills from the crappy or nonexistent health insurance bullshit. Yeah, I’ll take the “natural” croak in my sleep—cuts costs, I figure. Ha! Take that, you focking HMOs.

Cripes, just this morning I heard some knobshine on the radio gasbagging ’bout the skyrocket costs for the health care, and that if all the people took more of what-you-call the preventative measures, these costs could enjoy a bit of shrinkage. That’s just got to be good news for the uninsured, ain’a? Take your preventative measures—that way if you get good and honking sick, it might only cost you one billion focking bucks instead of two for christ sakes.

And speaking of shrinkage and healthcare, I’m reminded of a little story (Paul Ryan, Speaker of the House of Reprehensitives, I hope you’re reading):

So this American tourist goes on a trip to China, where he got pretty frisky with the ladies. A week after he came back home to the greatest country on Earth, he awoke one morning to find his manhood privates covered with bright green and purple spots. Perplexed, he went to see his doctor.

The doctor, never having seen such a thing, ordered a bunch of tests and told the guy to come back in two days for the results. Two days later he returns and the doctor says, “I’ve got bad news for you, sir. You’ve contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare, almost unheard of here. We know very little about it.”

Our randy tourist is a bit relieved and says, “Well, give me a shot, a pill, and fix me up, doc.” And the doctor says, “I’m sorry, there’s no known cure. We’re going to have to amputate.” In shock, the guy says, “That can’t be focking possible. I need a second opinion!”

So the next day, the guy seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring it’s a disease from his neck of the woods and he should have experience treating it. The Chinese doctor examines him and says, “Ah yes, Mongolian VD. Rare disease.” The guy says to the doctor, “I already know that, but what can you do? My American doctor wants to amputate!”

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: “American doctors always want to operate. Lotta money for them that way. No need to operate.”

The guy breathes a sigh of relief as the Chinese doctor continues, “Yes, no need to operate. Wait two weeks and it will fall off all by itself.” Ba-ding!

Anyways, I got to run. Time to slap together some kind of résumé for that honcho FBI job opening. If our Milwaukee County Sheriff’s name can be bandied about to be our nation’s top dick, I don’t see why my name can’t also. Besides, I look snazzier in my signature headgear than he does his, what the fock.

And I can’t forget to thank my constant reader Ingrid Mae for her so-much appreciated support and benefactoring, you betcha.

And cripes, where does the time go I ask, ’cause I also better not forget to hone my annual commencement address to our newest batch o’ graduates who’ve been painstakingly educated to the point they couldn’t find their butt on a map even if they were focking sitting on it. America: We’re No. 1! Want some fries with that?

(Reminder: Fifty bucks and a case of ice-cold bottled beer is my standard fee for addressing whatever kind of group you got needs addressing.)

And in regard to what I can possibly say concerning the golden future that awaits our commencers just beyond the pale, what I got so far address-wise is, “There’s no business like show business, so get a focking job”—which is just as far as I got last year, so what the fock, guess I’m finished, time for a little shuteye ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek, and I told you so.

From: http://shepherdexpress.com/article-29764-six-feet-sleep.html

"Coroner: South Carolina teen died from drinking too much caffeine"

USA Today Network Teddy Kulmala and Cynthia Roldán, The Anderson (S.C.) Independent-Mail Published 5:35 a.m. ET May 16, 2017 | Updated 2 hours ago

"ANDERSON, S.C. — A 16-year-old Spring Hill High School student who collapsed in a classroom last month died from ingesting too much caffeine, the county coroner said Monday.

"The official cause of death for Davis Allen Cripe was a 'caffeine-induced cardiac event causing a probable arrhythmia,' said Richland County Coroner Gary Watts. It was the result of the teen ingesting the caffeine from a large Diet Mountain Dew, a cafe latte from McDonald’s and an energy drink over the course of about two hours, Watts said."

Read more: https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/05/16/coroner-south-carolina-teen-died-too-much-caffeine/101739718/

"North Korea May Be Linked To WannaCry Ransomware, Researchers Say"

May 16, 20177:59 AM ET

Bill Chappell

Twitter

A hacking group linked to North Korea has used code that's identical to some of the malware used in the WannaCry attack, security researchers say. Here, North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un is seen visiting a factory, in an image released from North Korea's official news agency.

AFP/Getty Images

"The WannaCry ransomware that attacked computers in 150 countries has lines of code that are identical to work by hackers known as the Lazarus Group, according to security experts. The Lazarus hackers have been linked to North Korea, raising suspicions that the nation could be responsible for the attack.

"The connection was made by Google security researcher Neel Mehta, who pointed out similarities between WannaCry and malware used by Lazarus, the group that has been blamed for the Sony Pictures hack of 2014 and for stealing millions of dollars from a Bangladeshi bank in 2016.

"After Mehta highlighted the elements in the code, other researchers confirmed similarities that early versions of WannaCry — also called WannaCrypt, Wana Decryptor or WCry — shared with malware tools used by Lazarus."

Read more: http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/05/16/528587064/north-korea-may-be-linked-to-wannacry-ransomware-researchers-say

When the hell is Trump going to squash this bug? Again, drop one of those mother of all bombs on Pyongyang. If they attempt to retaliate, destroy them, and unite the Koreas again. I'll bet the majority of North Koreans will be shocked to learn the truth.

Take this clown off of the world stage.

Birds

Last Friday Drew and I went to Horicon Marsh in Lomira Wi. We left very early in the morning we seen a lot of birds and water fowl. We may go back up there this weekend to see if we can find more birds and water fowl. Here are some pictures from are adventure this past Friday.

This is a Black Necked Stilt!

This is a Black Crowned Night Heron!

This is a Blue Headed Vireo!

This is a Blue Winged Warbler!

This is Sandhill Cranes with Chicks!

This is Trumpeter Swans!

I hope everyone enjoys the pictures and there will be more to come. I don't know when I will get more posted but I am trying to keep up with all of it.