Open Blog - Weekend

I'm staying in.

"10 Coolest Strongest Toys Which Actually Exist !"

Four for Fridays!

I can not believe it is Friday already and also Memorial Day weekend. I do not know if it is me but it just seems like the days are going faster. I hope everyone enjoys the three day weekend and please be safe. Here are your questions for this week.

1) Do you have plans for this Memorial Day weekend?

2) Will you be doing and traveling for Memorial Day weekend?

3) Will you be spending time  with family or friends this Memorial Day weekend?

4) Will you be going to see any Memorial Day parade this weekend?

"Memorial Day Weekend is No. 1 for fatal traffic accidents"

Published: May 26, 2017 6:34 a.m. ET

This weekend, traffic could hit a new high

Traffic in Los Angeles

By KariPaul Reporter

"Memorial Day travel will be at its highest level since 2005 this year, with 39.3 million Americans trekking 50 or more miles away from home, according to motor club association AAA. And more than 80% of those — 34.6 million people — will be on the roads.

"Based on travel bookings with AAA, the top travel destinations in the U.S. for Memorial Day Weekend are Orlando, Florida, Seattle, Washington, Las Vegas, Nevada, New York, and Honolulu. The influx could be dangerous: In fact, Memorial Day weekend is the most deadly time to drive, according to personal-finance website ValuePenguin, with an average of 312 fatal accidents a year between 2011 and 2015, followed by Labor Day Weekend (308 fatal accidents) and July 4th Weekend (307 fatal accidents). 'On a normal three-day period, the stretch between Washington, D.C., Baltimore, Philadelphia and New York sees the most fatal accidents,' it says."

Read more: http://www.marketwatch.com/story/memorial-day-weekend-is-no-1-for-fatal-traffic-accidents-2017-05-25


If you're travelling this weekend, please be very careful.

Open Blog - Friday

Oh yeah!

Good News: "Big game hunter crushed to death by elephant"

AP Photo

"A south African big game hunter was crushed to death by an elephant on a Zimbabwe game reserve, according to South African outlet News 24.

"Theunis Botha, 51, was leading a hunt when his group stumbled upon a breeding group of elephants at a game reserve near Hwange National Park Several on Friday afternoon, Zimparks spokesman Simukai Nyasha told The Telegraph. The group of elephants charged at the group and the hunters shot at them, the agency reported.

"Botha was crushed after one of the members of the group shot an elephant after she lifted Botha with her trunk. The elephant collapsed and fell on top of Botha, crushing him."

Read more: http://journaltimes.com/now/today/history/big-game-hunter-crushed-to-death-by-elephant/article_e3ae82c0-e905-58dc-9988-516c23ae5d42.html 


It's not a "sport" when you're carrying heavy arms and the animals are defenseless.  Go hunt the animals naked, with no guns or tools.  After all, that's how the animals are.  May all the big game hunters meet the same fate. 

I know one.  When he said, "Let me show you the game room," I was expecting a room with a pool table or card tables or pinball machines.  Instead, it's filled with animal heads on the walls and a couple of full-size ones. He was so proud.  I was getting sick.  After his desath, may his head be stuffed by a taxodermist and hung in the "game room."

"10 SECRETS The FBI Is Hiding From You"

Open Blog - Thursday

You taste better than a dog biscuit.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my dears!  How are you?  Another crappy day outside.  We had a few really great days and then it hit the toilet again.  I guess we have to pay for a warm winter with a cold spring.  Personally, I believe in climate change and wonder how bad it will get.  The power pigs have made trillions of dollars off of polluting our atmosphere and now we're supposed to just take it.  I'd love to see a mess of CEOs rounded up and placed in the arctic with no tools or food.  You made this mess, assholes, now clean it up.  This reminds me of the fact that when something good happens, someone will say, "Praise the Lord," but when something bad happens, no one says, "Damn the Lord."  That's a nice gig, getting all of the  fame and none of the blame.

Mr. OrbsCorbs contacted me because he's being harassed by a collection agency.  No problem.  I'll just put the dreaded Zoltar Curse™ on them.  They're already half-dead with numerous closed locations.  This should finish them off.  Don't mess with me or my friends!  

Apparently, we already have a new mayor, Amy Connolly.  She has taken over with lying John's blessing.  Of course, she has a shady past and is still under investigation from her old position.  That's the way lying John likes them: criminals.  Racine is a cesspool thanks to lying John.  And now he abdicates.  Gee, if only he would finish out his term, we'd be a top ten city.  Instead, we're a bottom ten city.

I have an idea for the proposed arena downtown.  A recent slideshow on the Journal Times' site was about circuses.  It stated that the three ring tent could hold 12,000 people.  There you go, there's our new "arena."  With so many circuses shutting down, one of those tents should be relatively cheap.  Before we commit to bricks and mortar, we can see what kind of response an arena would generate.  If it doesn't work out, I suggest that we then replace City Hall with the circus tent, for obvious reasons.

Festival time is here. For the next four months or so, there's something happening every weekend in Racine, and many weekdays.  Of course, if you live in the affected areas, they can be a pain in the butt.  I have a friend who lives near downtown and she says it's a mess when the city holds some celebration..  She says that people she doesn't even know will park in her driveway.  I told her to let the air out of their tires.  But she doesn't "want to start something."  I told her that the jackasses who park in her driveway have already "started something."  She's just trying to stop it.

Well, I hear the dirty dishes and carpeting calling me.  A woman's work is never done.  Thanks for reading my blog this week.  I love every last one of you.

Contact madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com

Enjoy whatever spring weather we get.  Soon enough we'll be complaining about the heat.  Watch out for kids playing near the road.  And take care of yourselves.  Please.   So many of us are always doing for others instead of doing for ourselves.  Well, I give you permission to take care of you, because I love you.
__________________________
Please donate: paypal.me/jgmazelis
If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com and I'll send you my street address so you can send a check or money order.  Thank you.

"WiGWAG: Richard Simmons, bobblehead Trump, and more"

From Wisconsin Gazette.com:

Lisa Neff and Louis Weisberg, Staff writers May 22, 2017 Updated May 22, 2017

News with a twist

Mega butt!

Officers at an Arizona border crossing found nearly 3 pounds of heroin in packages taped onto a woman’s buttocks and stuffed into the back of her jeans. Authorities say the heroin had an estimated value of more than $45,000.

The beach is back

Ireland’s once-popular Achill Island’s Dooagh beach has returned after being washed away by storms in 1984. In recent weeks, tides deposited tons of sand and shells to the area, making it an instant tourist attraction once again.

John Mayer made her do it

An Alabama woman was filmed stomping out the windshield of a friend’s car. Why? The friend had broken her favorite John Mayer CD, Continuum.

Leave him alone

Richard Simmons is suing the National Enquirer and Radar Online for libel and invasion of privacy. The media outlets reported that the reclusive weight-loss guru is avoiding the limelight because he’s undergoing gender reassignment. Simmons has made more headlines in his retirement years than he did during his heyday, when his bouncy, effusive persona was ubiquitous on television.

Bobblehead Trump

Milwaukee’s National Bobblehead Hall of Fame and Museum recently acquired an interactive Trump doll. Visitors to www.bobbledonald.com can ask The Donald a question and then choose the answer, which makes the bobblehead either nod “yes” or shake its head “no.” Like the real Trump, the bobblehead cannot answer more complex questions, such as “Why did you fire Comey?”

Don’t call me Caitlyn

Among the names for baby girls that dropped most in popularity between 2015 and 2016, the top four were all some form of the name “Caitlyn,” according to the Social Security Administration.

S—t march

Anti-government protests in Venezuela have turned nasty, with demonstrators vowing to add feces to the customary rocks, Molotov cocktails and tear gas they use against security forces. The new tactic has been dubbed the “Poopootov.” Demonstrators are advertising their next action as a “s--- march.”

Get a new lawyer

Richard Henry Patterson of Fort Lauderdale claims his girlfriend choked to death on his ginormous manhood during oral sex. His attorneys want permission for Patterson, 65, to show his penis to the court as exhibit No. 1. Prosecutors, however, aren’t swallowing the story. They’ve charged him with murder and they predict his standard “rough sex” defense won’t go down with the jury. The coroner was unable to determine how 60-year-old woman died.

Privacy or payments?

A woman seeking to obtain child support for her son has lost her case before a court in Munich. She wanted the court to order a hotel to reveal the identity of the man she spent three nights with seven years ago. The woman knew the man only as Michael, and the judge said granting her request could breach the privacy of the four men registered at the hotel under that name during the three-night period.

Mom’s home-cooking

A judge in New Mexico says a man arrested for allegedly breaking into his mom’s house and stealing her soupy stew won’t face charges. The judge dismissed the case against the man, saying the only witnesses to the theft of the posole were the defendant and his mother.

Goaded by God

Pittsburgh police arrested a woman they say threw bricks at a man’s car on charges of propulsion of missiles, criminal mischief and defiant trespass. According to the police report, the woman, who is white, said she received a “prophecy from God” telling her to “throw bricks at white men.”

Barreled over by Bambi

The Associated Press reports a daring deer charmed a group of hunters in Indiana by licking the barrel of a shotgun. Video from the encounter shows a deer approaching the hunters crouching in undergrowth. The deer then nuzzled the barrel of a gun held by one — and lived another day. We should mention that the men were hunting turkeys.

Tweet for free treats

In April, a Nevada teenager took to Twitter to ask Wendy’s how many retweets he needed to win free chicken nuggets for a year. The reply from the fast-food chain: 18 million. He didn’t hit that mark but the exchange became the most retweeted of all time — 3.4 million — and Wendy’s is giving him the year’s worth of nuggets anyhow.

New slogan

The U.S. House of Representatives recent passage of the Republican health care plan spurred creation of another T-shirt slogan: “Nevertheless, she preexisted.” We found ours online, created by the Nasty Woman Society: Apparel that Empowers.

Read more: http://www.wisconsingazette.com/blogs/wigwag-richard-simmons-bobblehead-trump-and-more/article_c6450bb2-3f27-11e7-adb5-5b5e21fb813a.html

Open Blog - Wednesday

How are you doing?

"Powerbull"

From The Shepherd Express:

By Art Kumbalek 2 hours ago

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, how ’bout our County Sheriff “Hopalong” Clarke apparently getting a gig with Homeland Security? And once he begins his new job, the first thing that will be safer and thus more secure will be the inmates over by the county jail, I kid you not.

Anyways, as I’m sitting here today I’ve heard that the Powerball jackpot has risen $250 million, and whoever eventually wins, the rest of us losers can be comforted with the belief that there will be at least one American who can afford health care, what the fock.

And speaking of our county sheriff, for your benefit during this time of economic hardship for so many, allow me to kind of plagiarize myself in regard to winning and losing:

For those who sometimes may need to count on a helping hand from the government, let me guess: At the last lottery drawing the numbers came up and you went down, didn’t you? You got suckered into purchasing another bum lottery ticket. Get over it.

Cripes, hard to believe any outfit that sells as many faulty products as our government lottery cartel does can stay in business but what are you going to do, ain’a? Take your ticket stub back to the clip joint you bought it from and ask for your money back? Ha! Forget about it. I already tried. No dice. They acted like I was speaking some kind of foreign language. And come to think of it, at the mini-mart I frequent, I was. English. Ba-ding!

But seriously, just because your lottery-financed dreams have been dashed down the dumper like yesterday’s undigested baloney sandwich doesn’t mean that you’ll feel any better by packing it in and stepping in front of the first bus that comes by, no sir.

Take some solace in the fact that at least you know you’re a loser. Know thyself, like they say in the Bible. Not like these supercilious dickweeds who pride themselves in not getting snookered into these lottery scams. I got one thing to say to them: If you don’t play, you can’t win, and when you don’t win—well, you lose, any way you look at it, loser.

But really, so big focking deal you lost in the lottery again, that now you can’t run away with the uber-stacked manicurist you’ve had your eye on over by the beauty parlor where the wife goes; that you can’t tell your know-it-all boss that you won’t be in for the next 30-focking years; that, damn it, you still have no pot to pee in; yeah, those new soles for your pair of dress shoes will have to wait, and so will the knob from the collection agency knocking on your door even as I write and you read.

But do you really think you’d be happier if any of those dreams had come true?

Yeah, probably, but just because the lottery numbers you so carefully picked mega-sucked does not mean that your life is as good as over. Hell no, not by a long shot. What it does mean is that your life will continue to stink, and the familiar does have its own comforts I’ve heard. Don’t worry, you still got plenty more losing ahead of you, so buck up, buddy.

And what’s so great about that? Hey, read your Bible sometime, mister. Somewheres in there it says, “The meek shall inherit the Earth,” or so I’m told. Got that? It doesn’t say, “The focking rich bastards shall inherit the Earth,” does it? Of course not. That would be stupid ’cause you can’t inherit what you’ve already got, what the fock.

No sir, the Bible specifies the meek—another way of saying losers. That’s right. Losers. Just like you, and me. And just so’s you know how special that is, second place inherits two Earths. Ba-ding!

Hey, the losers are going to win the Earth, which may be a lot like winning a goddamn hippopotamus in that the first thing you got to ask yourself is, “What the fock am I going to do with that?”

And when you losers win the Earth, I imagine you’ll need to decide as to how you’ll want it: paid out as one lump planet or as an annuity spread out over a period of years. Me, I’d go the annuity route. For my first payment, I’d take Tahiti and Fiji out there in the South Seas, introduce myself to the native gals and spend my time making sure they were comfortable. Next year, do I hear Monte Carlo?

So in conclusion, please remember that when you’re a loser you’ve got nothing but dreams. But when you’re a winner, your days of dreaming are done and if you don’t have dreams, what do you have? Fock if I know, but as soon as I inherit the Earth maybe I’ll have an answer for you’s, ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.

From  http://shepherdexpress.com/article-29785-powerbull.html

Open Blog - Tuesday

If you say so.

"Bevy of bobcats: Thriving animals poised as next urban pest"

By MICHAEL CASEY Associated Press May 22, 2017 Updated 43 min ago

James Quigg
FILE - In this April 16, 2012, file photo, a small, likely juvenile, bobcatis perched on a power pole in a residential neighborhood of Victorville, Calif. Bobcat numbers have almost tripled nationwide since the 1980s to as many as 3.6 million, according ro a 2010 study in the Journal of Fish and Wildlife management, the most recent national survey. (James Quigg/The Daily Press via AP, File)

 "CONCORD, N.H. (AP) — As someone who has studied bobcats for almost four decades, wildlife ecologist John Litvaitis remembers many times returning from the field without spotting a single one of these solitary and shy creatures that often hunt at dusk.

"But bobcats are less elusive now as their numbers rise and they become more comfortable around humans. Joining the likes of foxes, coyotes and even mountain lions in rare cases, bobcats are making a home in small towns and suburbs — and realizing there is plenty to eat in the cities.

"They have turned up in recent years in such places as Manchester, New Hampshire's largest city; Waverly, Iowa; and outside Los Angeles. They have been spotted below backyard bird feeders, waltzing along streets in search of their next meal and, increasingly, as roadkill.
 

"A website that Litvaitis set up to understand the bobcat rebound in New Hampshire features hundreds of amateur photographs — of a cat lounging on someone's lawn, another stalking a chipmunk, a third sitting contentedly after gobbling up a guinea fowl and peacock.

"'They are back in New England and at least as abundant as they were 100 years ago, if not more,' said Litvaitis, who conducted much of his research while at the University of New Hampshire. 'They are adapting to a landscape that has changed. You have roads and people everywhere, and they have figured out how to get along with most of that.'

"The resurgence of Lynx rufus comes during a shift over the past several decades from treating bobcats as vermin to be exterminated to being considered a top predator worthy of protection."

Read more:  http://journaltimes.com/news/state-and-regional/bevy-of-bobcats-thriving-animals-poised-as-next-urban-pest/article_4e84453a-5562-5f6b-b921-91e1507dd156.html


I'd love to own one of these.

Open Blog - Monday

Let's have a good week.