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Hello, peoples! A Most Joyous, Wonderful, Memorable, Prosperous, Healthy and Happy New Year to each and every one of you! May the Sun light your way through every day of the coming year, and may the Moon illuminate your backside as each night falls.
I have consulted my crystal ball and I am ready to make personal predictions for some of my fellow Irregulars. First, I’d like to say that the overall 2009 outlook for JTI bloggers and readers, with one notable exception, is good. I see us learning from our mistakes and taking comfort with others when we hurt. I see us helping others. I see us growing as individuals and as members of the human race. I see us becoming more irreverent, more irregular, and more irresistible.
[The exception, of course, is that arrogant, mean-spirited, little man who infects this site. His year will be as hellish and dark as his soul. Enjoy, OC.] For the delectable Ms. kkdither, I predict an encounter with a mysterious, tall, dark stranger in 2009. He will turn out to be from the IRS. Tee-hee. I’m sorry, I jest. What I really see for her is some peace in 2009, some room to breathe, as it were. Just don’t inhale too deeply – Racine is out of EPA compliance.
I predict a stellar year for Lizardmom, including recognition and reward at work and at home. I see that she will continue to master projects in and outside the home. I suspect that she might even reward the author of this blog with some delicious treats at the upcoming 1st Annual JTI Christmas Party.
My crystal ball told me that SER will win big in the lottery in 2009. It also told me that he will give most of it away, because that’s the kind of guy he is. Then
he will get that visit from the tall, dark IRS agent.
AvengingAngel will also win in the lottery next year. He will lose his winnings in the schizophrenic stock market and on sports bets. However, he will have a hell of a good time doing it.
I see that while he recovers from his recent surgery, it will be discovered that Mr. logjam inadvertently received an elbow joint in place of his knee. This strange situation will lead to his becoming professional baseball’s first pitcher to throw with his leg. While the odd delivery method throws most of his opponents off of their game, it is eventually ruled that the “foot-ball,” as logjam’s pitch becomes known, is illegal.
In early 2009, I predict that Robert Plant will change his mind about a Led Zepplin reunion tour, which will kick off in midyear. Mr. drewzepmeister will enter a contest for tickets to one of their shows in Chicago. He will win the grand prize of dinner with the band, front row seats and backstage passes to all three of their Chicago shows, plus a weekend’s stay at the same hotel as the band in adjoining rooms with access to all private press and party events. Don’t forget your earplugs, Mr. drew.
Mr. hale-bopp will continue to find professional and personal success in the coming year. He will ascribe this to his native intelligence coupled with hard work and his charming personality. I will continue to let him believe that.
Beejay, perhaps the biggest-hearted Irregular, will have a relatively reptile-free year in 2009. Her optimism and work with others will nourish her flowering as a person.
I predict that Huck Finn will enjoy watching the new administration establish itself.
Cyndi and ABBY, the party animals of the JTI, will take part time jobs as go-go girls at a newly opened bowling alley-discothèque in downtown Racine. The establishment will be called “Gutterz.”
My crystal ball shows that RWWackostu will win his first election in 2009, starting him off on a political career that ultimately will culminate at the White House, with his appointment to a newly created cabinet post, Secretary of Music Videos.
DogAddicts will heal in the next year and continue to find love with family, friends, and pets.
Mary, homemomof2, Why Not?, fungi, and all the others will be blessed in ways small and large in 2009. Happy New Year to you all!
Don’t forget to send your questions and comments to me at:
madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.
Mew, mew, my kittens. Adieu.
P.S.
Behave tonight!