Hello, peoples! A Most Joyous, Wonderful, Memorable, Prosperous, Healthy and Happy New Year to each and every one of you! May the Sun light your way through every day of the coming year, and may the Moon illuminate your backside as each night falls.I have consulted my crystal ball and I am ready to make personal predictions for some of my fellow Irregulars. First, I’d like to say that the overall 2009 outlook for JTI bloggers and readers, with one notable exception, is good. I see us learning from our mistakes and taking comfort with others when we hurt. I see us helping others. I see us growing as individuals and as members of the human race. I see us becoming more irreverent, more irregular, and more irresistible.
[The exception, of course, is that arrogant, mean-spirited, little man who infects this site. His year will be as hellish and dark as his soul. Enjoy, OC.]
For the delectable Ms. kkdither, I predict an encounter with a mysterious, tall, dark stranger in 2009. He will turn out to be from the IRS. Tee-hee. I’m sorry, I jest. What I really see for her is some peace in 2009, some room to breathe, as it were. Just don’t inhale too deeply – Racine is out of EPA compliance.
I predict a stellar year for Lizardmom, including recognition and reward at work and at home. I see that she will continue to master projects in and outside the home. I suspect that she might even reward the author of this blog with some delicious treats at the upcoming 1st Annual JTI Christmas Party.
My crystal ball told me that SER will win big in the lottery in 2009. It also told me that he will give most of it away, because that’s the kind of guy he is. Then he will get that visit from the tall, dark IRS agent.
AvengingAngel will also win in the lottery next year. He will lose his winnings in the schizophrenic stock market and on sports bets. However, he will have a hell of a good time doing it.
I see that while he recovers from his recent surgery, it will be discovered that Mr. logjam inadvertently received an elbow joint in place of his knee. This strange situation will lead to his becoming professional baseball’s first pitcher to throw with his leg. While the odd delivery method throws most of his opponents off of their game, it is eventually ruled that the “foot-ball,” as logjam’s pitch becomes known, is illegal.
In early 2009, I predict that Robert Plant will change his mind about a Led Zepplin reunion tour, which will kick off in midyear. Mr. drewzepmeister will enter a contest for tickets to one of their shows in Chicago. He will win the grand prize of dinner with the band, front row seats and backstage passes to all three of their Chicago shows, plus a weekend’s stay at the same hotel as the band in adjoining rooms with access to all private press and party events. Don’t forget your earplugs, Mr. drew.
Mr. hale-bopp will continue to find professional and personal success in the coming year. He will ascribe this to his native intelligence coupled with hard work and his charming personality. I will continue to let him believe that.
Beejay, perhaps the biggest-hearted Irregular, will have a relatively reptile-free year in 2009. Her optimism and work with others will nourish her flowering as a person.
I predict that Huck Finn will enjoy watching the new administration establish itself.
Cyndi and ABBY, the party animals of the JTI, will take part time jobs as go-go girls at a newly opened bowling alley-discothèque in downtown Racine. The establishment will be called “Gutterz.”
My crystal ball shows that RWWackostu will win his first election in 2009, starting him off on a political career that ultimately will culminate at the White House, with his appointment to a newly created cabinet post, Secretary of Music Videos.
DogAddicts will heal in the next year and continue to find love with family, friends, and pets.
Mary, homemomof2, Why Not?, fungi, and all the others will be blessed in ways small and large in 2009. Happy New Year to you all!
Don’t forget to send your questions and comments to me at: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.
Mew, mew, my kittens. Adieu.
P.S. Behave tonight!
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18 comments:
And a Very Happy New Year to you Madame Zoltar.
May your best days of 2008 be your worst days of 2009...
.........SER
And Happy New Year to you Madame Zoltar. Thank you for the wonderful prediction concerning those reptiles. I do believe you are right since the owl has returned to its perch outside my BEDROOM window!
Have a safe and happy one.
Thank you Mme. Z. You are the best. My wish to all JTIrregulars is more peace in the coming year. I hope we are able to continue to offer a solace and a place to call home. Through this past difficult year, this has been a site to run to when we need humor, goodwill to men (and women) and the knowledge that we have support in this crazy existence.
Mme Zoltar, your predictions could not be more intuitive! For you... we hope for a new year filled with more normal family ties, a romance to make you wildly satisfied and all the riches that this earth can provide.
Thank you for your kindness and willingness to share your insights. Hopefully, in 2009 you will be able to find some harmony and the ability to forgive, despite your dispute with our friend Orbs.
Thank you for relaying your predictions of blessing Mme Z. I appreciate it. I hope the new year will be kind to all here. I was hoping for a prediction on when this child will choose to join us.
Happy new year to you all..
OK, I predict that your child will be born next year.
Thanks Mme. Zoltar
May the new year bring you everything you wish for
A very Happy and Prosperous New Year to you Madame Zoltar. Thank you very much for your prediction. At this point, I will definately not give up my day job.
As a prominent Irregular, you are our sayer of sooth, seeker into the mystic, and a generally all around nice person. Thank you for being a prominent Irregular.
Madame Z-THAT would be my DREAM come true. I'd probably faint meeting Robert Plant. Thanks for the prediction! May your New Year be happy and blessed!
aww, thanks Mme. Z, you're a sweetie :)
You missed your prediction for our buddy Orbs, I'm sure it was just a slight over-sight :)
Go Go dancer?!?!? Maybe once my hamstring and my foot heals... guess no quantity of alcohol can make doing the splits any less painful (or stupid) to do at my age;-)
Guess I'm not as flexible as I used to be...ow, lol!
Happy safe (and split-free) New Year!
Oh, Lizardmom, I did make a prediction for that filthy little man. He's the virus I mentioned that infects this site.
I'm sorry, but he and I do not get along. I've tried to be civil in the past, but he is always a pig.
Orbs is a PIG...oh how can you say that..nothing but a gentleman at all times at all costs...What did I miss...wait on second thought, do I really wish to know???
There was some shrieking coming from the woods at the summer picnic. Happened around the time Mme. Z apparated. I assumed she startled some innocent passerbys. Now that I think about it, orbs was off investigating nature...
Well, maybe he thought she was a different type of 'madam?' Please let's hear Orbs side of this...
I was just taking a leak near some bushes when she astral projected right into midstream. It's not my fault her landing coordinates were screwed up.
Plus, I nag her for lottery numbers a lot, but she never gives them to me. Zoltar, you're like the National Weather Service: always making predictions, but few of them come true.
Orbs, you might just try to temper your comments to Mdm Zoltar. I would not put it past her having a witch or warlock for a friend who could cast some warty spell on you. Now I don't think you would want that. Or do you have a cupboard full of eye of gnu, bat feces and all that stuff just in case of such a situation?
I realize she interrupted you at a very inopportune time, but giving her the benefit of the doubt, perhaps she had her coordinates a little off that day.
She's always "a little off."
And how did you know what I have in my cupboard?
Mdm Zoltar is not the only one with somewhat of a crystal ball...mine, however, is a little cracked. Just like me.
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