Snow shoveling heart attack warning
3 hours ago
Sunday, January 11, 2009
A Little Life Story....
Sorry...I broke wind...
Broke wind my ass, you farted!
Is it embarrassing when it happens in public or do you own up to it and be proud that you had the opportunity to share it with everyone?
Actually, it can be quite embarrassing if it has a lump it! HOWEVER, if it has an aroma that can strip paint off the wall, stand up and take ownership!
You are on your first date and you have to let one rip, but nooooo you do not want to be embarrassed so you squeeze your cheeks tight to hold it in. Well we all know after a while the pain...oh the pain; you hold it back for so long when it does finally pop it is so brutal your pant legs flutter in the breeze! Then you have no choice but to take ownership.
Let me tell you a little story. A friend of mine picked me up in the morning to give me a ride to work. Well I happened to be out the night before and so was he. While riding down the street I let one “fly”; well that baby was so hot I thought it was going to put blisters on my ass! The best part he had a Mustang and you know how small they are in the inside, well this cookie had such an aroma my friend slammed on the brakes and jumped out the car and started puking, now that is a fart!
Some say women don’t fart...ya right.
However, there are some sayings out there like: ‘A burp is a smart fart, it took the elevator’ or ‘It’s better to burp and taste it then fart and waste it’. I am sure there are more sayings, but those are two that come to mind.
So in the future, there is no reason to feel the pain, let it fly and hold your head high!
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10 comments:
We all know the famous: "better to 'release' and bear the shame, than not to 'release' and bear the pain."
Women and Farts
When I worked in retail, I had a discussion with my girlfriend. We were discussing controlling gas while at work. I mentioned how difficult it was when the store was busy and you had an inconvenient 'bubble.' She told me that she saved them specifically for that circumstance; that it was the best time to let loose. More people around to blame it on! :o
don't forget Shrek's line,
"Better out than in I always say"
Always take a dog with you.
One of the funniest thing to do is to fart in a crowded elevator.....then start staring at someone else, giving them the disgusting look. Pretty soon everyone else starts doing the same thing and the poor SOB gets the grief for something you did.
Works for me all the time.
I remember once I belched so loud it could be heard in Kenosha county. I was told by a couple of friends that that was totally disgusting.
I came back with, "Next time I could save it and use it for a fart later on. Your choice."
I'm starting to think you are one of my relatives, logjam... same danish humor. Your last name is my grandmother's maiden name.
Ah hah, I knew it...we are all related.
I heard that women squeeze theirs in so tight that they escape on a pitch that only dogs can hear.
You don't have to be Danish to enjoy fart jokes, but maybe it helps?
A good fart sure can stir conversation. Unfortunately, it's more like, "you sick bastard".
Women do in fact fart, it's called a queef.
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