Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my darling daffodils! How are you? Wasn’t yesterday’s weather lovely? You can almost hear the old city crack her bones as she starts to stretch for spring.

Unfortunately, my blog must once again be dedicated to my campaign for mayor of Racine. None of the local civic groups will invite me to their mayoral forums and none of the local media take my candidacy seriously. Therefore I am forced to use the JT Irregulars as the primary outlet for my campaign information. (That, and a little macumba, does wonders, dears.) Thank you all for allowing me these opportunities to spread my message.

First, I want to say that I completely agree with a local alderman who recently called for the demolition of some worrisome properties in Racine. However, the first building that I would like to see torn down, one that has been a source of endless grief to the fine citizens of Racine, Wisconsin, is 700 Washington Avenue, City Hall. How much money would we save by bulldozing that old relic? What little city work that cannot be accomplished by internet, teleconferencing, etc., could be transacted at a much smaller, economical building, constructed near the tip of the wedge that City Hall currently occupies. It could also include a check cashing and bill paying operation, lottery sales, perhaps even a title loan company, all run for the city’s profit. The rest of the property could be sold for development.

I also agree with a former alderman who says that the city of Racine has an unwritten policy of “exclusion.” I hate to say it, but I believe that most of the people in city government and media are prejudiced against psychic gypsies. How else can you explain the snub of not inviting me to forums and ignoring my campaign? (Just wait until after the election, you crumbs, I guarantee you surprises that you cannot dream of.)

As far as residency requirements for voting and serving as mayor, say what? If homeless people can vote, why would anyone have to live anywhere? When I’m elected, I certainly won’t be spending a lot of time hanging around this burg, getting into trouble. That’s the city’s administrator’s job, isn’t it? I’ll be getting into trouble in other states and countries - that’s the mayor’s job.

I have been having visions concerning the stimulus money that Racine is about to receive from the federal government. The visions imply that an elaborate ruse is about to unfold in which the money will be swindled from the city. There is also a figure in the background of the visions, a woman, I believe, a figure of trust, who could possibly save the money from the swindlers, if the city has faith in her. Such a woman would be well versed in the mysterious secrets of the spiritual realm. She would be someone who has professed her love for Racine. Someone you can confide in and trust with $1.35 million. There, the visions stop . . .

Finally, I have decided to offer not only a free personal reading to each and everyone who votes for me, but also a free Madame Z Good Luck Charm®, which comes preloaded with 90 days of complimentary good luck. After that, the luck can be refilled, for up to a year, at any certified Madame Z™ retailer for a nominal fee.

Thank you for reading my blog this week, dears. I love you all, whether you vote for me or not. Don’t forget, if you have a problem, a solution, a complaint, a compliment, or a random thought, send it to me at: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Spring is coiling and ready to burst up with energy. See you in the sky.