Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my friends! How are you?

I’m ashamed to say that I forgot about this week’s blog until just now. And that’s about all that I have to say. There were no email questions or comments this week, and I don’t have any pressing issues to prognosticate on.

A quick glance at the news this morning reveals the usual economic horrors and criminal brutalities facing the fair residents of our city. However, even though the first U.S. death from Mexico’s swine flu has been confirmed and President Obama has declared, “This is obviously a serious situation, serious enough to take the utmost precautions,” a Journal Times editorial pooh-poohs all of that flu-poo nonsense and encourages us to party on. Thank God that the crack team of medical experts and epidemiologists at the Journal Times are keeping a keen eye on this so-called pandemic for us; otherwise, I might worry.

There also appears to be some concern locally that state senator John Lehman is actually listening to his constituents and not the special interest groups that he is paid to represent. Don’t worry, though, for I predict that he will come around. Once the genius of government of the government, by the government, and for the government is demonstrated to him, he will realize the foolishness of listening to taxpayers. There is no arguing with what the government has done for our economy and in global affairs. Even our local government has shone through with its visionary treatment of children as fodder for the pleasures of perverts and sadists. Can you say “coal train,” kiddies? I feel so much more secure knowing that we bury our little secrets in Racine.

Well, I’m off to tend to the enflamed genitalia of a local captain of industry who buggered a boy that had the insolence to purchase and use one of my hex potions in revenge. Tsk, tsk. Won’t you Racine NAMBLA members ever learn?

Don’t forget to send you questions and comments to me at: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

I’ll see you next week, dears. Be sure to vote in next Tuesday’s mayoral election and write in “Madame Zoltar.” Ta-ta!