Throw Shoes, Not Bullets

Today's news contains another story about a shoe throwing incident overseas: India shoe-thrower released without charge. There's also a story in the local news about a Racine shooting, again. Reading the two accounts got me to thinking: wouldn't it be grand if our thugs, gangbangers, and various other Racine reprobates threw shoes at each other instead of shooting one another? Never again would we read a story about some innocent bystander felled in a hail of bullets - maybe knocked down by an errant Nike, but not shot dead. Police and evidence technicians would be dispatched to the scene of the most recent throwing to take pictures of the tossed shoes lying in the street and embedded in victims' homes. The southside Addidas Disciples would be constantly battling the northside Nike Lords in turf wars. The streets would flow with shoe leather and laces, but not blood.

To this end, I am considering starting a nonprofit foundation called Shoes for Shooters. It would work in concert with a charity that a friend of mine started in Milwaukee a couple of years ago: Belts for Brothers, which collects and distributes belts and suspenders for the gravity-impaired trousers of inner city youths. I'm pretty sure that I can get a block grant or stimulus money or something from the government for this because money has been falling from the sky ever since the bankers and CEOs imploded our former economic system.

So, what do you guys think? Ya can't say that ol' Orbs isn't thinking about ways to better our community.