Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.
Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14: 92: 'And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt .'
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Seriously, what can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.
Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 60+ year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: 'Gosh, I remember these.
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8 comments:
You read my mind????? Oh dear...it is the new 30, don't ya know!!!!!!
uh oh....
Also did you know that EVERY INCH of your skin falls/drops one inch on your body. My eyelids now frop into my eyes, my eye brows are lower, my upper lip has almost disappeared, skin hangs by my elbows and knees. I once tried to fix the sag in my nylons by my ankles and low and behold it was my skin not the nylons. Of course I am not mentioning body parts..LOL
I tried the "go braless" thing to remove my wrinkles but I kept triping over my boobs, it got to painful.
Makes me think of a great line from Fake Plastic Trees by Radiohead, "Gravity always wins"....
I love Radiohead. So wish I could have made it to Lollapalooza in Chicago last year. It would have been crazy-mad with people though.
stupid stuff
Thank God I'm not old yet.
Duct tape fixes it all.
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