Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my pickled pelicans! How are you? (Pickled pelicans? – Tee-hee, I just wanted to see if you were paying attention.) Well, summer certainly is in full swing after the 4th of July. Last weekend we had the Great Midwest Dragonboat Races and this Saturday, July 17, we have Gallery Night in Downtown Racine: http://kiosk.racinepost.com/2010/07/my-friday-girls-art-group-showing.html. There is always so much going on in Racine in the summer. Like I said last week, we know how to party.

I know how to party, too. Last night I went to an astrologers bar with a friend. I knew I shouldn’t, but we had already had a few drinks down at the Psychic Club. (If you don’t know where that is, you don’t belong there). We ended up in some tealeaves readers’ joint and I proceeded to drink a snootful of cheap gypsy wine. Oh my. You would not believe the size of my head today. I swear that I can hear the beating of a fly’s wings, just over the roaring jackhammer directly behind my eyeballs. I must remember that I am not as young as I once was and cannot party till I drop anymore, for I drop much too soon and much too hard these days.

Therefore, instead of putting a lot of mental effort into this week’s column, I’ve decided to let Google do the blogging for me by once again using their search engine to find where my surname, Zoltar, takes us on the internet. The first stop appears to be this little video gem:



I’m not exactly sure what that is all about, but there is a much longer version here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dnb9VaZUsM, and a link to a story in Sneaker News: http://sneakernews.com/2010/06/08/zoltar-x-nike-sportswear-shaman-project/. All of this apparently has something to do with the 2010 World Cup. What it has to do with me is anybody’s guess.

Next, there is an app for me, err, more correctly, for my ex: http://www.superdeadly.com/zoltar/. Sorry, but I would find it creepy to have him with me all of the time - or even some of the time. Is there a restraining order app?

Here’s a group (or something) named Zoltar on MySpace Music: http://www.myspace.com/coolbox. Try “HAPPYMEAL THRASHCORE Minimix” for a snappy little tune.

Finally, I even have a listing in the Urban Dictionary: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Zoltar.

Thank you all so much for reading my blog today. (And thank you for speaking so softly out of respect for my hangover.) I love, love, love my dear regular irregulars and irregular regulars. Sharing time with you, even hung-over, makes my day. We are family.

Don’t forget to send the family secrets to: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Be careful celebrating the summer, my dears. You don’t want to end up like me. Moderation in all things and all things in moderation. In other words, do as I say, not as I do. Happy summer! Viraginity.