An elderly couple were having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, "Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?"
Martha replied, "Well Henry, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I've been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always for a good reason.
Henry was obviously hurt by his wife's confession, but said, "I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by 'good reasons?'"
Martha said, "The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn't pay the mortgage. Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?"
Henry recalled the visit to the banker and said, "I can forgive you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second time?"
Martha asked, "And do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn't have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge."
"I recall that," said Henry. "And you did it to save my life, so of course I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time."
"All right," Martha said. "So do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club, and you needed 73 more votes?"
Snow shoveling heart attack warning
3 hours ago
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A guy was sitting and looking out over a beach crowed with swimmers. His wife came up and gave him one upside the back of the head.
"Why'd you do that for?" he asked rubbing his noggin.
"You were staring at that blond over there in the skimpy bikini!" she accused him.
"No I wasn't." he replied. "I was staring into oblivion. Her boobs just happened to be in the way."
Thanks for the laughs.
I never remember jokes. :(
I got a grin out of both of them..
Due to poor finances and the bad economy, a man in desperation sends his wife out for the evening to make a little money to cover the bills.
She arrives home early the next morning, looking very bedraggled. She flops $20.70 onto the kitchen table. Her husband asks, "Who was the jerk that gave you seventy cents?" She replied, "They ALL did!"
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