A little old lady went to the grocery store to buy cat food. She picked up four cans and took them to the check-out counter.
The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat."
The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food. The next day, she tried to buy two cans of dog food. Again the cashier said "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you dog food without proof that you have a dog. A lot of old people buy dog food to eat, but the management wants proof that you are buying the dog food for your dog."
So she went home and brought in her dog. She then was able to buy the dog food.
The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid. The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said, "No, you might have a snake in there."
The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her. So the cashier put her finger into the box and pulled it out. She said to the little old lady, "That smells like shit."
The little old lady said, "It is. I want to buy three rolls of toilet paper."
So........... Don't mess with old people.
Snow shoveling heart attack warning
3 hours ago
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2 comments:
Well that was effective.
In keeping with SER's theme and in remembrance of what would have been my mom's 81st birthday yesterday, here is one of the many jokes she taught to me as a child and then taught to her grand-children:
It’s a warm sunny day. A pilot is flying his first solo flight when he realizes that he suddenly and urgently needs to take a dump. Unfortunately, the plane he is flying is not properly equipped. He decides that the only logical course of action is to poop in his sock – which he carefully does when the co-pilot is not looking. As quickly as he can, he ties his sock in a knot and tosses it out of the plane window.
Mean-while, down on the ground… a young preacher is concluding his first sermon on the lawn behind the church. The preacher is a powerful speaker and the congregation is listening to his words with rapt awe. No one knew that such insight and wisdom could be found in this young man. The preacher stretches his arms and looks to the sky and delivers his final words: “All good things come from heaven.”
And so came the SPLAT!
I miss the poop and sex jokes, and so do my kids.
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