This is an actual conversation between my girlfriend and I had the other day as we were watching TV together..Her: Here's something to watch, "The Dog Who Saved Christmas".
Me: Let me guess-this one Santa gets kidnapped, abducted, beaten, tortured, raped, sodomized, maimed, murdered, killed and set on fire. Along comes a lovable canine, perhaps a talking puppy, rescues Santa from the perils of Hell and saves Christmas. For that, all the children in the world are happy.
Her: So you've seen that one before?
Me: No. All these new Christmas movies are the same. Something happens to Santa and he gets rescued by some kid or dog and Christmas is saved. It gets old and mundane after awhile. I'd rather watch paint dry.
Her: So you don't like Christmas movies?
Me: I like 'em, but I'd would to see something original for a change.
Her: Like what?
Me: How about a drunken Santa, despondent over the loss of Mrs. Claus, crashes into the side of a 747 with his sleigh, killing everybody aboard? Think about the legal repercussions about that one...
Her: You're crazy...
Me: You have no idea...How about Santa in the Philippine jungle gunning down terrorists? Like Rambo? That ought to be a hoot! Or an elf murdered in Santa's workshop. A CSI crew comes in a clears Santa as the prime suspect. I could go on...
Her: Please don't...
Me: Or Santa can do a romantic comedy...
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19 comments:
Jed likes Drew's humor...lol
I'm with her. Why are you trying to get Santa hurt Drew? :}
Mary all I can say it is Drew. I hope that explains everything. It has to be a guy thing because Jed likes Drew's humor about this.
I hear you THB. Men!
Mary..Mary..Mary
I don't think you want to go there! Do you? After all, you cover a lot of ground with that statement. lol
Do I have to go there Jed - "I am woman, hear me roar".
Read it and weep Mary, not quite as good as my Beverly Hillbillies song. I would have put more of Hellens' verses down, but I decided to go throw up instead. lol
"Oh, yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to
I can face anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman"
I agree with you Mary!
Jed- Yes us women are strong.
In "Red Sleigh Down" from South Park, Santa is shot down over Iraq and the boys, Mr. Hankey and Jesus have to go in and save him. Lots of violence and (SPOILER ALERT) Jesus is shot dead: http://www.southparkstudios.com/full-episodes/s06e17-red-sleigh-down
Well Jed, it's nice to know that you appreciate songs empowering women. Getting in touch with your feminine side?
OK Mary & THB I am starting a playlist for ya'll. Hows this for a start? lol
Man I feel like a woman- Shania Twain
Hit me with your best shot - Pat Benetar
These boots are made for walking- Nancy Sinatra
Respect- Aretha Franklin
I Will Survive- Gloria Gaynor
I like it!
I can bring home the bacon,
Fry it up in a pan....
Jed that sounds great to me! Is that our Christmas present from you!♥
Man, I'm old...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4X4MwbVf5OA
Good gravy... what is this Bacon Day? Don't worry Drew, they are just trying to get off the topic. When are you casting for the Santa roles in the movies? lol
Nice save there, Jed. Just remember, keep a woman happy-it's safer and it keeps you fed.
I was thinking of casting Arnold Schwarzenegger filling the role of Santa. I could just see him with that white beard holding a AK-47 in those beefy arms of his. Instead of the stocking hat, he'll be wearing a red bandana and his face all camouflaged...
Drew, I just can't see Santa with an AK-47. There is just something wrong about that.
And Arnold? Oh, (heavy sigh).
kkdither said...
"Man, I'm old...
"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4X4MwbVf5OA"
I get tired just looking at it.
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